The thing is, there's a lot we still don't know about herpes...about viruses in general. 15-20 years ago, the medical profession thought that as long as there was no outbreak, you weren't contagious. However, patterns of transmission have shown that many (perhaps most) people contract herpes from people who aren't showing any signs of an outbreak.
Because information about herpes is always being found out through studies, research, etc., doctors have a heck of a time keeping up with the most up to date info (not to mention all the other diseases they have to keep up with). So, many doctors are out of date in their information.
Some doctors don't want to scare their patients into over-reacting about it (thinking they can never have sex again), so they'll err on the side of over-simplifying the information. However, IMO some do this a bit too much and miss important information.
Condoms are a good start and should definitely be used to prevent transmission, but on their own will not guarantee protection. I've seen a media sex expert tell some people that a condom will do the trick but I think this person adjusts their advice depending on the situation and the individual, too.
To ignore the reality of viral shedding when you're with a partner is to put them at risk. If you want to believe that it's a myth, that's your choice. But your sexual partner(s) deserve and have the right to have all the information available to make their own informed decision...including the fact that you have it, and the fact that medical research says you can pass it on in between outbreaks. To ignore that risk is irresponsible.
I know it's incredibly frustrating to accept that you could give someone a disease for which there is no known cure and which you have limited control over. It's one of the hardest things about living with herpes. We all have our own way of dealing with it and we'd all like to think that somehow they "got it wrong."
But would you want your partner to simply assume the risk is a myth when it could mean you getting a chronic disease? Ultimately our partners have the right to be given the same consideration and caution that we would want from them in the same situation.
TheOneInFour
[This message has been edited by TheOneInFour (edited 11-07-2002).]
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