20/20Hindsight

One-In-Four:

Definitely no offense taken....LOL...after I re-read mine, I thought to myself "what a stupid question." What I really meant is what differences are there appearance-wise. I'm so afraid of spreading it to my eyes, that I'm afraid to touch ANYTHING on my face.

But then I think, my ex-H had oral since way before I met him - he gets cold sores about 4-5 times per year, more or less.... I was careful not to kiss him on the mouth or let him kiss me (anywhere) whenever he had a blister, and I never had any problems. Of course, that's most probably because I was exposed to HSV-1 as a child. That's also probably why "Mr. I've never heard of herpes" didn't pass it to me orally, only genitally, because I had never had "those areas" exposed before. However, as far as protected sex goes, my ex-H and I rarely used condoms after we were exclusive. So, in all those 7 years we were together (actually 8 years total - 7 married) I never contracted the virus genitally (that's assuming that new partner, "Mr. I've never heard...", was responsible for outbreak. ????

Sometimes I think that I'm being WAY TOO OVERCAUTIOUS. I seem to think that although it is contagious, I don't think it's THAT contagious as far as spreading it to different areas on myself, or giving it to my kids somehow.

I mean, how many people do you know that have spread it to their eyes?? If that's the case, (so easy to self-contaminate), wouldn't a significant portion of the 90% of the population that has HSV also have it in their eyes, nose, etc.?? I find it hard to believe that I'm the only one that scratches my *** when I get up in the morning And, for people who have it orally (my ex, and one of my best friends get really nasty wet blisters on their lips), THEY don't have it in their eyes, or anywhere else for that matter. And, I'd like to point out, my ex-H didn't realize (and still denies) that his cold sores are a form of herpes, so its not like he would be careful not to touch his lip and then rub his eyes, right?

What I'm saying is that everytime I feel a "tingle," or "an itch," or just a plain-old-nothing-special twitch, I think "Oh my God, it's happening. One Big Herpe! AAHHHHHH!"

Yes, a little overreactive, I know. But, I can't help it. The first OB was the only OB, so I don't know what to expect.....or if to expect anything at all. somewhere near 50% of people with HSV-1 NEVER have another recurrence (visible anyway...)

Just curious, how would I tell if these little minute pimple like bumps are HSV?? They aren't wet or anything, so I don't think the dr. could do a swab, could he? I just don't want to pass it to kids, or anyone else for that matter, by sharing cups, forks, etc. You know how it is when you're a mom, I think I swallow more of their spit and backwash than they do!! >LOL<

The new perspective I'm trying is that 1)life goes on; 2)millions of people have HSV-1, both orally and genitally, and I've never seen anyone walking around as 'One Big Herpe.' I just now go it, even though I was continuously exposed for 8 years.

So, although I realize that it is quite an epidemic as far as STD's go, I don't think that I have to worry quite as much (if worry, at all), about spreading it so much, as long as I take some precautions, like washing my hands, etc. But, does that mean that even when I'm not showing signs of an OB that I have to be so darn careful? Say, I reach down and "adjust my thong," since I've just touched my underwear NEAR where an OB occurred in the past, do I need to rush into the bathroom to wash my hands before scratching my eye??

Questions, questions, questions. I'm really more of a "cut and dry" kind of person, can you tell? I like black and white, not maybe's and if's grey.

And, what about sex in the shower?? Condom still? How 'bout the pool? Condom there, too? Or would we be pretty safe because of soap/chlorine?

(I'm searching here for you to tell me what I want to hear -- that is, that I don't have to keep knocking myself up about this and to just RELAX, for pete's sake ...whoever pete is, anyway. And I'd really like to know that I can enjoy receiving oral sex again WITHOUT saran wrap. I want to be able to enjoy sex and touching/feeling without worrying about what is getting where. Will that ever be?

I can't help but think that because my HSV is out of its preferred area, that it will be even less likely to spread/transmit to somewhere/someone else? What are your thoughts on that?

That article I read (darn, I meant to look at it for address so I could post it here...) said that if one partner has HSV-1 oral, and other partner has HSV-1 genital that the chances of exchanging are not as great as would be if one partner was seronegative, because of the body's immune system already being familiar with the virus.

I would really like "great guy" to take blood test to see if he has been exposed to HSV-1. That would make his chances of NOT getting it even better, from what I understand. And since with HSV-1 out of its preferred location, the frequency of OB's and recurrences, and shedding are even more reduced (shedding <1-3% of the time). I think my mind would be able to enjoy sex a little more, if I wasn't so (you guessed it) PARANOID.

Right now, everything is so overshadowed by worry. Will that go away with time?

Wow, am I rambling. Way to much caffeine this a.m., huh?

Thanks again for your support/advice/raging paranoia quelching. ROTFLOL

20/20