Living, dealing with genital herpes...advice needed! - Herpes Message Board

Zen33 · 05-20-2008, 02:50 PM

I found I contracted genital herpes from a guy I was seeing a few months ago. When I found out, I went to him with honesty. I didn't know where I got it from because I had slept with someone shortly before him; I disclosed this to him. He initially responded ok--he needed time, etc. I was fairly sure I'd contracted it from him because it fell under the average time frame. After a week and a half of normalcy, I received a text message from him in which he called me an *** and said he heard from a friend that my friends were laughing and talking about me at a bar and how I have herpes. He said all the employees knew b/c my friends were talking so loudly about me. My world came crashing down. He was blaming me, calling me stupid for talking about it. He claimed to not have gotten his test results back, and he forced me to contact this previous guy. I did that. All his results were negative, so I knew I got it from my boyfriend. He avoided my phone calls for 3 days, he then broke up with me. He said , "things just didn't work out." So basically---he gave me herpes, blamed me and made up a story about my friends and then dumped me. I've never dealt with any of this before--I'm a 29 year old teacher! This guy was 31--- I definitely thought I'd survived life without drama, gossip, or cruelty.

So now I'm just trying to manage this issue and be positive about my life. I'm on Valtrex, but I feel like I've had constant breakouts since February---oh, i found out I had VD on VD--valentine's day. Great irony, huh? There will be two days of comfort and then---tingling, itchy, painful blisters. I've been on Valtrex for 3 months--no change. I've tried to relax, meditate; I'm a pretty anxious person as it is. I should also mention that this same guy gave me HPV 1 and 2, which I didn't have 6 months ago and have only slept w/ 2 men since then. Does anyone have any help or suggestions for me? I know 1 in 4 women have herpes...but I don't know any one else. My friends have all been wonderful and supportive, but they can't really relate. It would be easier to handle if I didn't have to constantly think about my pain, discomfort, foolishness, anger...I'd like to forget about this creep and let go of my anger. I know it doesn't help.

I'm glad I found this forum. This is my first post. As of now, I have no interest in men or sex...but hopefully one day I will. I'll be back for some support on that topic in the future.

dkw711 · 05-20-2008, 10:00 PM

Zen33,

It sounds like your ex is a complete jerk. He should have at least been up front about getting tested. It is true that a lot of people don't know they have it, but not to make excuses for his behavior. I was also 29 when diagnosed, and although none of my friends had it, one of my friends has a sister who has it and I felt some relief in knowing I'm not alone. You too have to know you are truly not alone in this. This disease affects many. However, I know it is distressful and very embarassing, although it shouldn't be because society stigmatizes it. It is not your fault. I think too, anxiety can adversely affect a person dealing with herpes, so treat yourself with some relaxation. Others on here too have some great herbal remedy suggestions for managing symptoms. I think you have to find what works best for you.

rachy78 · 05-22-2008, 09:54 PM

hi your ex sounds like a big fat jerk, im new to this site as well and only just found out yesterday that i contracted genital herpes from my partner of 8 years, we have both been totally faithful but he got it from his ex and it was dorment for 8 years then flared up and consequently i then contracted it, i couldnt believe how painful it is, peeing has me in tears and whimpering, im still learning about this virus, but when i was looking on the web i came across a treatment cream called dynamiclear, its a natural product but it sounds amazing, check it out, its garenteed or your money back and you get to try it for 6 mnths if your not happy they fully refund you, most of the stories i read about it were saying it cleared all their symptoms and pain in 1-2 days, and now they very rarelly break out every 4-5 years, its 89.00 dollars but thats supposed to last for years and with some people they've never broken out again, i thought you might find it usefull, im going to try it, its gotta be better than going through all of this pain, i'll try anything, hope you check it out could change your life

Zen33 · 06-20-2008, 06:33 PM

I was hoping for more response, but thanks to those who did. I actually found out that there were other issues that seemed to make the GH worse. In actuality, it was something I'd been complaining to my gyno about prior to contracting GH. She told me to "splash baking soda up there." Well, that didn't work. I went to a new gyno and she diagnosed me with Desquamative Inflammatory Vaginitis (DIV). I'm not sure the likely hood of having both GH and DIV together, but it's not a nice combo. Luckily, I think I've got it under control.

hungy888 · 06-21-2008, 09:49 AM

Hey I know what you mean about hoping for more responses.

I just got the news yesterday I have GH. I was in tears all day yesterday even though I tried to be strong. Luckily my current bf has been so supportive I would have never imagined it in my wildest dreams.

I am also so freaked out I may have contracted other worse (I'm talking HIV) diseases. It's just all so unbelievable and I wish this where like some bad dream. I'm 22 and have had very few partners.

This board helped me alot. For instance reading the "happy couples" thread.

I don't know who I got it from though, we both have yet to take official tests.
When you where diagnosed, did they do a blood test right away? My doctor diagnosd me by just looking and then gave me medicines.