I need some help and advice!!! - Herpes Message Board

Lostiefan1 · 05-20-2008, 03:20 PM

Hello everyone, i'm new to this board and have read a couple of threads and decided to join in. Well i don't even know where to start...well yesterday i just found out that i have both Herpes 1 and 2, and i couldn't believe it, i was in such shock and i still am. But the weird thing is that it's been a couple of months since i last had sex with the jerk that gave it to me. I didn't have any symptoms at all, but the one thing i did noticed is that i start getting this little thing on my lip, it's so small and it looked dry with no puss or anything (sorry for grossing you out) but that's about it. And i don't know what that means? Does it mean that i'm having an ob on my lip or is something else? So i went and got tested because first to be safe and because i started talking to this amazing guy which now is my boyfriend. So now i'm so scared of telling him this, i don't even know where to start. And things are getting serious with us because his bday is next week but his celebrating it this saturday, and i'm going to meet his sister for the first time so i'm nervous about that too. That's why i don't know whether to tell him before saturday or wait till next week. In a way i don't wanna do it this week because i don't want to mess up his bday party, but then waiting is killing me. I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? I'm so scared about losing him, his the sweetest person i've ever met. He means everything to me, i just don't know what to do. Plus i haven't felt anything different down there or anything, and one of the things i'm also concern is that me and my bf have kissed but not like making out kiss but it's not a peck either, it's like in between and the last thing i want is to give him anything. I guess in a way whenever i tell him i'm going thinking he'll leave me, because i have a feeling he will. Just please any advice will help! I can't believe this is happening, and this happens right when i was very happy. But sorry about the long message, i just needed to vent and i also needed your help. Thanks again guys!

ann03 · 05-21-2008, 07:16 PM

I am so not an expert at this but for starters no matter how you feel about this guy if all you have done is kiss I wouldn't tell him anything yet. Just don't consider sleeping with him yet.
Plenty of folks have herpes on their lips so thats not the end of the world, if you kiss tell him you have cold sore etc....or herpes on your lip. Not sure how to handle that and see how that goes over.. perhaps. Then see how the relationship progresses.
I am sure others will pipe in here but I see it as good reason to let the relationship grow alittle slower and give you time to figure out how to tell him and him time to fall in love

Ornament · 05-22-2008, 08:49 AM

Lostie ~

Welcome to the board!

Sorry, that you've become "one of us" - but it's all good. Regarding your dilemia - I totally agree with Anne, waiting sounds like the best thing to do. You'll know when to discuss your diagnosis with him. (prior to intercourse, of course) Read and learn as much as you can about herpes, he will probably have questions and you'll have the answers for him. I suggest you download a manual by Terri Warren, lots of factual information regarding this virus. I've had this virus (gentially) almost 4 yrs. now and really it's only a minor inconvience and can be quite manageable. Herpes actually makes you take better care of yourself, but what a way to learn!
Keep in mind that we're all here for each other and vent anytime.

-Ornament

Lostiefan1 · 05-22-2008, 10:48 AM

Thanks so much for your advice, but it's getting harder and harder not to say anything to him...this is killing me. But in my case it's a little confusing because about a month ago i went and got some tests done including herpes test and it came back negative. But i would still have the little sore on my lip, so i finally had time to go to the dermatologist and i explain to the doctor that i got a herpes test done at my own doctor and said we'll try it again so we did that. So last week i get a call from the doctor and said i have both herpes 1 and 2. And once he said that to me i was in shock and started to cry because that's the last thing i thought i had because i had taken a test already. The other thing is that i haven't had symptoms or ob breaks down there or anything (knock on wood) just that little thing on my lip that one day i have it and the next i don't. So after this i talked to my doctor's nurse and explained to her what was going on, so she told me to have them fax over my test result...so once she saw it she said that yeah i do have it, then yesterday she called me again and said she talked to the doctor and said that it'll be better if i get tested again in a month or so just be sure. So i asked her howcome the first one was negative and the 2nd positive? She said that the 1st one didn't show any antibodies, and the 2nd one was a little bit higher. So as you can see i'm all confuse about the whole thing, but i'm trying not get my hopes up, i'm just going through it as if i do have it. So i don't know we'll see how it goes... i just don't know how tell my bf this. But i really appreciate all your help and advice! Thanks a bunch!

Lostiefan1 · 05-22-2008, 11:05 AM

Thanks Ornament! Thanks for your advice, this is just a very scary feeling and situation i'm in. And like i said before, it's killing me not to say anything to my bf. He is the best thing that has ever happend to me, in my life all i met were jerks, and now that i finally found a great guy this happens. But you know what the funny thing about all this is? That ever since we started talking me and him just clicked, we talked for about a month before being official, so we've been dating now a month and i'm so happy together! I feel like his the one, and i think he wants to tell me he loves me, in which i do too. I don't know its hard to explain but i don't know how his going to react when i tell him the news. But thanks so much for your help and advice, i will sure come here to vent and try and help other's too! You guys have a great day!