new case of herpes and miserableness - Herpes Message Board

NoRain · 08-10-2003, 05:53 PM

Hi,

I just wanted to find out what you all think of this..

About 2 weeks ago I started experiencing tingling and burning sensations all around my mouth, which my doctor told me was most likely herpes and I shouldn't worry too much. Since then, the sensation hasn't gone away although no sore has appeared (I know this can happen).

But, I've been having an uncomfortable feeling in my genital area AND in my eye, which I tried to ignore at first but now I'm afraid I've spread the herpes around! Since I found out I"ve tried to be careful about touching these places without washing my hands but maybe it happened before this..

I am absolutely terrified of getting herpes all over my body. The tingling has spread from my mouth to all over my cheeks, around my nose, parts of neck, and even my ears.. could I have spread it to all of these places??

Worse, I have a boyfriend who I am in a loving relationship with.. I don't know whether I had this dormant before now or if I got it from him, but either way, I could make him worse now. I could spread it to his genitals, and the worst part is he has an allergic skin condition that makes his skin bump up when it is scratched.. I could spread it to him all over his body! I don't know what to do, I am so depressed over this.

He knows about my mouth symptoms but doesn't seem to think its a big deal.. but I am terrified that he will auto-infect himself or be infected worse by me.

It is so bad that I feel uncomfortable even hugging and holding him intimately.. I am afraid we will just spread this all over our bodies.

And I have seen people on this board post about outbreaks that never end.. is this possible? I have never felt so hopeless in my life. Please give me your insights...

TheOneInFour · 08-11-2003, 12:41 AM

Hi NoRain,

I can't say how or when you got it, but it's possible this is a primary (first) outbreak of oral herpes. Most people have it and maybe you're one of the minority who've caught it in adulthood, instead of in early childhood from family and friends. Or it may not be herpes at all. I think you should find out for sure what it is you have; clearly it's something.

I think it might be worthwhile for both of you to get tested with type-specific blood tests, and to do so right away. This will likely do two things -- it will tell you if he already has it (I suspect he might) and it will probably help to tell you if you got it recently (and therefore from him, which I suspect may be the case).

In your case, if you test negative for HSV-1 you should retest in a few months to know for sure if you have it. If you just caught it, it will probably not show up in a blood test yet, but it will if you retest a couple of months from now. It may seem pointless to do it that way, but if you really want to find out if your bf already has it and if you've just become infected, that's your best chance to do that. Having him tested will tell you if he has it (assuming he didn't just catch it himself).

If your bf tests positive, then his body has already found a way to cope with it and may not produce many or any symptoms. (Or is it possible some of his skin condition might be herpes OBs?) If he has it, you wouldn't expose him to anything he doesn't already have, on one level. On another level, you should be careful not to perform oral sex on him while you're having these symptoms because you could be contagious and spread it to his genitals. Sorry, I don't want to scare or depress you, just to let you know about this.

If you're getting continual or persistent symptoms all around the facial area, and if your doc really is convinced it is oral herpes, then you might want to consider going on antiviral drugs to treat the current OB and continue on a suppressive dosage. If you just caught it, it may take your body a while to build up the antibodies to fight off the OB episodes. Antiviral drugs (or alternative remedies, which you'll find discussed in our archives, as well as on herpes.org, in our Resource Links) can be a good way to minimise the risk of spreading it within the same general area while you build up antibodies.

It is possible to spread it outside the mouth area but it's very rare to have it all over your body and requires a fair bit of effort or unusual circumstances to do that. Most people get scared of that happening when they first suspect or find out they have herpes, so it's a pretty common reaction, but it's a very UNcommon pattern for herpes to have in the body.

This is just a hunch, but I wonder if this might be triggering off something deeper for you in your relationship. You say you're worried about your bf infecting himself but I don't see how your relationship would be a factor in that. So I kind of wonder if this might be bringing out some deeper relationship issues between you. Just something to think about.

Good luck and let us know how you make out with your doctor and any tests you get done.

TheOneInFour

NoRain · 08-12-2003, 11:15 AM

Hi again,

Thanks so much for the response!

I am still fighting serious depression, mostly due to the fact that i have patches of burning in so many places. I've been experiencing it on my nipple, my forearm, and even the palm of my hand! If I had these things alone, i would say it must be something other than herpes, but in combination with my mouth.. I know the doctor is going to say this is my imagination because that doesn't happen (I don't have any obvious scrapes or cuts on those areas). Maybe it is, but I can't know for sure!

My huge, huge fear right now is getting it on my hands or fingers. Can a person with genital herpes safely touch their own genitals when they are not having an active outbreak? (I know it isn't safe during an outbreak). I hate the fact that even though I can't have sex with my boyfriend right now, I can't even engage in sexual activity with him using my hands! And I am still scared because of his body allergy, which is definitely not caused by herpes but just causes very temporary welts to come up on his skin when it is scratched, more easily than on other people.

I just don't see how I can get past this and have a normal life again..

SophiaM · 08-12-2003, 12:26 PM

Could it be some other neurological condition? You should get tested asap. Tingling in your hands and ears is very strange. You might not even have H at all and maybe you're stressing yourself out for nothing. In case you do have it genitally, there's really no reason to worry you'll spread it all over your body. My ex-fiancee had it and he didn't even know that it could be contagious without symptoms, so I never took any precautions for the 4 1/2 years I was with him. I bite my nails and wear contact lenses and it never spread ANYWHERE on my body, except I just found out (after more than 4 years of breaking up with him) that I got it genitally. So you really should relax, I think the only way to spread it on your body would be if your suffered from some immune disease.

TheOneInFour · 08-12-2003, 12:29 PM

Hi NoRain,

First of all, you need to know that herpes is location-specific, meaning that it will stay in the same general area where you were infected unless something else happens to transmit it elsewhere. For oral herpes, this is around the mouth and face area. For genital herpes, it's around the genitals and the "boxer shorts" area. It's a bit complicated to explain why this is but basically it's because herpes lives in the nerves that service the same skin area. So you're not going to automatically get it all over your body.

I'm still unclear whether you think you have herpes only around the mouth right now, or whether you also think you have genital herpes. Again, I would highly recommend you get whatever tests are available to you so that you know for sure, and so that your partner knows what he has already.

People who are newly diagnosed or who think they have herpes often report tingling and other sensory symptoms all over. What had been a simple twitch or itch suddenly becomes suspect for being a herpes symptom. It's a natural and common response. Some of them *might* be herpes (or not) but your whole body isn't going to suddenly go wonky from herpes. Stress alone can make your body behave strangely, and you're under enormous stress right now. So calm down, take a deep breath, step back and look at this in a larger perspective (a positive one!) and resist the urge to panic.

If I understand you correctly, you're worried about transmitting your (presumed) oral herpes to your genitals by touching yourself there. As long as you wash your hands well after touching your mouth area before you touch your genitals, you'll be fine. However, if your bf has oral herpes, he could transmit it to you genitally by performing oral sex. He needs to know if he has this and how to recognise when the virus is active (when he's contagious). Most people get *some* symptoms (itching, tingling, burning, swelling, etc.) when the virus is active at least some of the time.

Assuming you haven't been with anyone else lately, it seems very possible that you got your herpes from him (assuming what you have is herpes at all, which you do not yet know for sure -- get the tests) and are newly infected. So given that, I'm a bit puzzled why you are so worried about what your (presumed) herpes will do to him when it's very possible that you got it *from* him in the first place.

And again, I'm wondering if there isn't some other piece of the relationship puzzle happening for you that's *not* about herpes. Are you worried that you might have picked it up from someone else recently and might pass it on to your partner? Or are you feeling doubts about the relationship and it's coming out as worry about being close to him and what that might do to him? All speculation and I may be off base but I'll put it out there anyway for you to think about.

But testing really needs to be your next step. Before you put yourself through the upset of believing you have herpes and figuring out how to cope with that, find out for sure. It may take some time before you know, but you need to start that process now so you'll know what the possibilities are at this point.

Keep us posted.

TheOneInFour

[This message has been edited by TheOneInFour (edited 08-12-2003).]