TheOneInFour

As a general rule, they can look identical. You will have to see what the swab test says, as it will tell you which type you have. In practice, genital HSV-1 can often be much milder than genital HSV-2, but it doesn't always work that way, so you can't tell by just looking at it.

Yes. Get him to go to his doc and get a type-specific blood test. If he only wants to test for HSV-2 he can get his doc to order the POCkit which tests only for type-2 and is quite a bit cheaper than others that test for both types.

If you both have the same type in the same location (e.g., genital HSV-2 or genital HSV-1) then you won't give each other anything you don't already have in a location you don't already have it. (if that's not too many double negatives LOL) However, it's still wise to avoid sexual contact when either of you is experiencing symptoms that suggest you might be shedding the virus. This could include tingling, burning, itching, pain, pressure, aching, etc. in the genital area or the mouth area.

Sigh... Yes, the medicos should be much more aware than that, but unfortunately they often are not up to date about this aspect of herpes. The asymptomatic shedding (being contagious without symptoms being present) is something that has only come to light in the last 10-15 years through research, and not all doctors are fully aware of this.

See if there is a herpes support group in your area, which one or both of you could attend. Planned Parenthood might know about one (or might also provide one-on-one counselling to either of you), or a local STD clinic or hotline, or the local board of health. You do need support right now from someone who isn't emotionally invested in what you're going through, and right now he can't be that for you.

He needs his own support too. It's very common for the source person to feel incredibly guilty about this and he needs to get past that, but I don't think you can be the sole person to help him that way. He needs to be able to talk with someone who can be objective and detached, yet supportive.

First of all, it's different for everyone. Some get a lot of outbreaks (OBs) especially in the first year, while others get no symptoms at all. You won't know what your pattern of OBs will be until you give it time to find out. There is antiviral therapy (Valtrex is one of the best, along with Famvir) and it's possible to go on a suppressive (daily) dose of that.

In fact, if you find you are getting a lot of OBs, it is often recommended now to go on suppressive therapy for about a year initially, since the body needs time to build up antibodies. The antiviral therapy will help minimise the spreading, frequency and severity of OBs while this happens.

Alternatively, you might want to try (instead of or along with the drugs). There's a lot of discussion about herbal remedies here on this board, as well as on herpes.org (in our Resource Links). Research it well before you try anything, though, and consult a naturopath or herbalist if you can manage it.

Not necessarily, although you might find the heat and friction aggravates the condition and either induces or prolongs your OBs. If that happens, better ease off that stuff until your body settles down a bit.

That could certainly be a factor, since a stressed immune system tends to let OBs through more easily. But some people just never get symptoms or very rarely or very mildly or atypically. It is estimated that a majority of people who have genital herpes don't know it because of this.

Good luck! Let us know how you two make out.

TheOneInFour