Im am literally driving myself crazy - Herpes Message Board

Don dada · 09-29-2003, 11:45 AM

I have been told by doctors that I actually am imaging my symptoms. They are sick of hearing from me.

I clearly came up negative on a IGG test at the 6 week mark, and was examined by many doctors who were convinced that I DONT have herpes.

My symptoms include: Oral thrush, ingrown hairs on my stomach and legs, The skin on my penis is incredibly sensitive (especially the foreskin and head). I also have painful urination and I feel tired and my joints hurt sometimes (especially my ankles and knees). My groin area in general always feels a little damp. My vision has been a little blurry too. I have also noticed that I have been bursting tiny blood vessels on my scalp, face, arms, and stomach.

The girl I had sex with says that she doesnt have Herpes and will have blood work done to prove it.

I will be getting another Herpes and HIV test done on November 4th (3 month mark)

I was suicidal one day. I considered jumping off a bridge. I have been so depressed and ashamed of myself. I hang out with friends and family as much as possible. I also have been hanging out at churches and Christian Healing centers. The Doctors at the STD clinic are mad at me for wasting their time with my symptoms.

My penis and testicles have hurt for over a month. I will be seeing a Urologist again next week and He will examine my urine flow. he also has to put a catheter up the hole of my penis ( my urethera already hurts and I cant begin to imagine how that will feel)

PS: the urologist thinks that Im dramatizing everything and says that Im fine. Im really scared and depressed because the pain doesnt seem to go away for more than an hour or so before ot comes back (my 5th week of this)

WHY · 09-29-2003, 02:47 PM

I think your doing all you can to find out what is wrong with you, all you can do is take it one day at a time (easier said then done) you also have to trust your Doctors, if you've been to a few and they all have said nothing is wrong then there is a good chance that nothing is wrong. Your symptoms may be very real but if you are contemplating suicide although everyone around you is telling you your ok then something else may be going on and maybe you should consider seeing someone like a counselor to rule out if you are suffering from depression which can sometimes cause us to have physical symptoms that may make us feel as though we are physically sick. Trust that if something is wrong with you the Doctors will tell just as long as they themselves know what it is. Good Luck.

sunnie4567 · 09-29-2003, 07:37 PM

Don Dada....Please don't be suicidal. I know that this sucks and its so scarry but you've got to chill out. Let me tell you I completely understand what you are going through. I have had 4 negative tests (2 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 14 weeks) but I'm still having some symptoms that are causing me to doubt and so I'm waiting until 120 days to take a final test. I just want you to know that during this ordeal I have figured out that stress can cause a great deal of symptoms. I don't think your imagining them and you need to wait until 16 weeks to be absolutley sure, however, stress can make your body crazy. First of all I have found out that extreme stress can cause oral thrush. I was completely convinced a few weeks back that I was HIV+ ( I know I"m not because I had a neagative test at 3 months) Anyway, this stress cuased me to develop some yeast in my mouth. It went away as soon as I calmed down. I was having all sorts of pains that have subsided some since my 14 week negative test. I still am experiencing some itchiness and can't have some bug bite type stuff on my butt that won't let me calm down. I hope my test will be negative and I"m so scared but we can't kill ourselves over this. We need to be strong and realize that Herpes absolutely sucks but I guess things could be worse. Stay strong...Good Luck!!!

harding2 · 09-29-2003, 09:00 PM

You are NOT alone. I have also been to the doctor twice, both times negative results. My symptoms have persisted and I feel like I am going to go crazy! Both times I went to the doctor, the nurse more or less rushed me out the door. You don't have herpes - soak your self in oatmeal, see ya later.

Four things have helped me. First, renewing my faith in God and in his physical, spiritual and emotional healing. Remember, with God all things are possible. Remember that by his stripes you are healed. Remember that according to your faith, so be it unto you. And most important, remember that so a man thinketh, SO HE IS! So quiet your mind and pray and meditate.

Second, I have a best friend who is willing to talk about this as much as I want to. Please, find someone to talk to. It's a cliche, but it helps.

Third, remember that YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. You have CHOICES and it is up to you to decide how to deal with your pain and discomfort. I almost took myself to the emergency room on at least 2 occasions because I was SO uncomfortable. I also became hopeless and just wanted to die!

But then I remembered this too: the bad things that happen to you should NOT define who you are. However, how you REACT should.

I decided I was going to heal myself - that I was going to regain control of my MIND. So I did research and came up with some things that I thought couple help my nerve pain, my skin discomfort, and my mental anguish.

So with renewed hope, I went out and bought herbal supplements and some essential oils. I started to read about healing and wellness and decided that whatever this is, I'm going to make it go away and never return!

If you believe for a minute that you don't have the power to do this, just think about it negatively. Imagine a pain any place on your body - if you do it long enough and hard enough, pain will show up there! We ALL know this.

You have to do the opposite. And it's all in your head to do it. Just say, I am well. I am getting better. And say it THROUGH the pain and agony. Your body will comply. Try it.

Finally, and this may sound nuts, but also SMILE. When I'm feeling really bad, I simply put a smile on my face. Something about doing that forces other parts of you to comply, and you start to feel better.

I'm not speaking in theory. These things have worked for me. Today, as I write, I feel almost COMPLETELY normal - and I will never take this feeling for granted again.

God bless

jenpen · 09-30-2003, 10:57 AM

Hi Everyone:
Sorry to hear you're in such pain. And please remember that suicide is NOT the answer. If you're not getting the care you need from your doctor, get another one! You have to have a doctor who works for you.

That said...I wanted to bring up a point. Have any of you thought of potentially having a yeast overgrowth problem? Many of the symptoms you're describing can be an indication of yeast overgrowth in the body. The kicker is that many traditional doctors don't even recognize that it is a real medical condition.

Believe me...I know it is. I've suffered from a yeast overgrowth problem for years. My problem was primarily caused by taking oral antibiotics for many years when I was a kid.

I do have G-Herpes and every time I have an outbreak I also get a yeast infection. (Lovely!) Not only do I have herpes, but I am also diabetic. (It may be a good idea to have your blood sugar levels tested too. Lots of diabetics have yeast problems.)

There's a great book out there called "The Yeast Connection Handbook" by William Crook, M.D. (Available at any bookstore or on Amazon.com.) It asks you questions to see what your risk could be of having yeast overgrowth. The book also gives you traditional ways of getting rid of yeast, plus some herbal supplements. I've used both the traditional and herbal supplements and they both work!

Just a thought. I'm no doctor but in my case yeast was a problem that was very real for me. Unfortunately I had to do my own research into my problem because none of my doctors wanted to help me...they thought I was crazy too! Sometimes it is very hard for me to tell if I'm having an outbreak or a yeast infection because the symptoms of each are so similar. Good luck! Hopefully this may help.