Being in college and having herpes.... - Herpes Message Board

Pamela519 · 09-26-2003, 07:11 PM

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jenpen · 09-27-2003, 11:23 AM

Hi There:
I just read your story and wanted to tell you to hang in there. I know it can be difficult now, but you will find the right person. I was 25 when I got my first outbreak and I was single. I didn't go through my college years with herpes (at least I don't think so) so I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I do know what it feels like to have some of the same fears you are experiencing. I will tell you that I am now happily married to someone who doesn't have herpes. We met, fell in love, I told him about having herpes about 2 weeks into the relationship and ever since we've been together. There are special people out there so don't deny yourself from having fun and experiencing life. You're not alone. Who knows...maybe someone you're interested in has herpes too! Maybe there's a resource center at school that you can go to for support. Can you meet people who have herpes via a support group or something? How about the online dating services? Maybe you can meet someone that way. There are lots of ways to meet people. Just don't cut yourself off from life! You never know what's around the corner. Herpes is just a virus. I know it sucks but really in the scope of things it's not much. (Easier said than lived I know) There are lots of people out there who have herpes and live happy, loving lives. I for example am happily married, have an executive position for a job, live in a nice house and drive a nice car...but you know what?!? I'm in the middle of an outbreak. No biggy. I still have a lot of great stuff in my life. So just remember anything is possible!

kaesle · 09-27-2003, 10:10 PM

hey there
I just graduated college a year and a half ago and I know the pain you are going through.
I was diagnosed with HSV-2 when I was a freshman and I was scared out of my mind of everyone I knew finding out. I didn't tell anyone except my fiance (who couldn't deal and ditched out), my family and my best friend. Sound familiar, huh!
I was afraid to tell my roomates because of what they might think, but they eventually found out and after becoming educated they were cool and turned out to be a major support!! Might be something to think about.

I was also like you in that I was hugely afraid to jump into a relationship. The first year or so I just casually dated people. Nothing serious or beyond kissing and groping type stuff. That helped me build confidence in myself again and then I was ready to find a relationship with someone and be able to tell them.

yeah, it is not something that happens overnight, but keep in mind too that YOU ARE IN COLLEGE!! these can be the best years of your life and have fun while you are there. Yes, herpes can affect parts of it, but don't let it dominate your experiences. (And clubbing is a vital part of college-at least every once in awhile)

Feel free to ask any other questions and let us know how you are doing.

justnotfair · 09-28-2003, 01:14 PM

I too found out during my freshman year about having HSV2, boyfriend ditched me and only one other person knew. Unlike other successful people on this board, I have not been able to get back to normal and live a regular life. People's assumptions about herpes from general conversations was enough to keep me hesistant to even try to overcome the mental issues.

I share this because you should not fall in the same category as myself. It is so unfair to yourself and it just keeps you from enjoying the best years of your life, college and being young. Keep your head up and most importantly do whatever you feel is necessary to keep you going forward and to live a normal life again.

backpacker · 09-30-2003, 08:22 AM

I've bumped up a thread called "Happy Couples" to give you a better perspective on how things can work out, Pamela. I've never thought of myself as diseased, dirty, etc. because I have this virus. It aggravates me sometimes, but is not a big deal. A few men I have met have declined to get romantically interested in me because of the h, but most have not, and now I am with my soulmate. Don't be ashamed. Just go on with your life, be the best person you can be, and people will respond. Peace.