It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Herpes Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-04-2004, 06:49 AM   #31
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 16
dashab HB User
Re: Happy Couples

I had my first OB within a month on meeting my bf. I was so scared to tell him about because I thought he would not want to be with me. I was pleasantly surpirsed when after sobbing my way through telling him he held me, told me that he loved me and said that it changed nothing. Not only did he do that but he said that we would deal with this together and that if he got it it was okay because we were going to be together forever and he would eventually get it anyway. We have not used protection and I have been on supressive meds to control the OB's. H has changed nothing in my relationship, our sex life is great and it's not something I think about. We don't let this rule our lives and it doesn't have to rule yours. It's just something you deal with and are aware of but it's not the end of the world. It's funny how you find out about so many others that have it, that you never would have suspected, after you are diagnosed. I live my life everyday thankful that I am healthy (because I am) and this is just a minor bump in the road that I deal with and live with.
You can find someone that will love you for you and see past the H.

 
Old 02-13-2004, 07:03 PM   #32
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 839
Ornament HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Bump, bump, bump......We need to keep this one at the top of the deck....
LOL = Ornament

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-17-2004, 04:06 PM   #33
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 73
ly_b HB User
Re: Happy Couples

As I posted in another thread, I am still with the gf who gave me HSV1 genitally. I haven't actually told her she did this as I thought it would totally devastate someone I love, and she is going through a really hard time at the moment. Plus, unburdening myself wouldn't do any good - the damage is done. If we break up I will try to tell her in the least hurtful way I can simply so she doesn't cause this pain to anyone else. I hope I never use it as something against her to hurt her with - well, I don't believe I will. It's just one of those things.

Also, I have cold sores, so I know how it goes (yep HSV1 in both places - confirmed). I used to obsess over giving oral sex to people in case I gave them HSV1 - how weird that I should be the one to suffer (especially as I am supposed to have immunity! Well, obviously not when exposed to active sores - I didn't realise she had a cold sore. I really kick myself for not having the conversation with her about cold sores I should have had, telling her I had them etc as I might have educated her about the risks. But, what is done is done).

So, I forgive her. Life can be a difficult thing sometimes, but we all have to get through. My gf would never intentionally hurt me. She's just a bit ignorant and naive about these things. I want to be with her for a long time because she's a great person, even despite this mistake she has made. I don't believe I hold it against her. I love her.

Peace and love to all.

Last edited by ly_b; 02-17-2004 at 04:07 PM.

 
Old 02-22-2004, 01:10 PM   #34
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: CA USA
Posts: 442
serialnovelist HB User
Re: Happy Couples

bump gotta keep this thread on top, it so great to read about all the happy couples ut there with H. its inspiring.

 
Old 02-23-2004, 06:55 PM   #35
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 839
Ornament HB User
Re: Happy Couples

bump again....we need to keep this one at the top.....it's an inspiration to us-all....

 
Old 02-24-2004, 05:01 PM   #36
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 16
dashab HB User
Re: Happy Couples

I third all those bumps.. I think this thread may give a lot of people hope

 
Old 03-11-2004, 10:56 AM   #37
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 112
Guy133 HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Good stuff

 
Old 03-15-2004, 04:33 PM   #38
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 33
wennie HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy133
Good stuff
***bump****

i agree. this is GREAT!!! very inspiring. bump up once more for newbies like myself.

 
Old 03-16-2004, 05:54 AM   #39
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 1,457
backpacker HB Userbackpacker HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Okay, I feel silly. After reviewing this thread, I realize I've been telling people that I outlined our system for protecting my partner here--and I never did! Here it is: I don't believe condoms protect you from herpes; I've read too many posts ('way too many!) by people who got it while using one--males and females. My soulmate and I have never used condoms except for what they are intended: birth control. I also believe they often bring on ob's due to increased friction during intercourse.

So what have we been doing for 12-13 years to protect him? First, we never ever ever ever have sex if I have any kind of symptoms, which include exhaustion, leg tingling, or an uncomfortable feeling down there--I have learned to pay lots of attention to my body. When I think we may have sex, I check myself visually or by rubbing my finger around lightly in my usual ob sites. Second, when we have sex, he washes his entire crotch with soap (actually, Neutrogena) and water, sudsing it up good, right after.

He doesn't put pressure on me to have sex when I don't feel like it, because then I might override my own intuition to try to please him. We watch our diet and encourage each other to get a good night's sleep. When I do think I may be getting an ob, I tell him right away so that he doesn't start planning sex--only to be disappointed. Instead he will plan massages or nights out or long walks or snuggles and talks.

He knows that he may end up with it. He also knows that he may end up with it (or something worse) if he ever has sex with anyone in the world. We've had great sex over the years, and we have a great shared life together.

As for condoms and meds, to each his own! But we feel that the quality of our life together would be compromised if we used these. As Mr. Spock said, "There are always alternatives." This board is so valuable for allowing us all to discover the alternatives.

 
Old 03-16-2004, 10:12 AM   #40
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 839
Ornament HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Bravo~Bravo~Bravo.......B.P. - Very well said....Thankx, -Ornament

 
Old 03-16-2004, 10:42 AM   #41
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 112
Guy133 HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by backpacker
So what have we been doing for 12-13 years to protect him? First, we never ever ever ever have sex if I have any kind of symptoms, which include exhaustion, leg tingling, or an uncomfortable feeling down there--I have learned to pay lots of attention to my body.
I have read a few stories similar to yours, where couples continue to have sex, in many cases unprotected, and the man has gone years without contracting herpes. How much of this success do you think is do to careful planning, and how much is due to somebody being immune or more immune to herpes than others?

I have only been researching herpes for a week, so still learning.

But that's one thing that I am gathering, is that some people seem to have somewhat of an immunity to herpes, and others will get herpes and just never have outbreaks.

 
Old 03-18-2004, 05:33 AM   #42
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: MD
Posts: 1,457
backpacker HB Userbackpacker HB User
Re: Happy Couples

I don't think it has anything to do with immunity. I think it has to do with our loving care and precautions. I don't think anyone is immune to herpes; the antibodies don't keep you from contracting it in a different place, as many of us know through experience, and my soulmate has never had any kind of outbreaks, cold sores, etc--neither has any of his first family. Also, he has diabetes: not the best immune system, in other words.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to backpacker For This Useful Post:
candeemoredense (09-01-2012)
Old 03-23-2004, 05:44 PM   #43
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 33
wennie HB User
Re: Happy Couples

B.U.M.P. one more time. This is great stuff!

 
Old 03-30-2004, 11:35 AM   #44
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: CA USA
Posts: 442
serialnovelist HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by wennie
B.U.M.P. one more time. This is great stuff!
yup bump, it should be a sticky

 
Old 04-14-2004, 02:19 PM   #45
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: CA USA
Posts: 442
serialnovelist HB User
Re: Happy Couples

bump one more time for the newbies. how bout some new happy couples adding to it, instead of just bumping it. anyone got any new stories of new couples?

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Read Happy Couples Thread & now have questions please seeksbliss Herpes 12 08-19-2009 05:46 PM
Question for Happy Herp Couples LifeAbundantly Herpes 1 05-25-2009 06:29 PM
Feeling Relieved... Muneca78 Herpes 14 07-27-2008 10:48 AM
I cannot stand happy couples at all JennyLee123 Relationship Health 54 05-31-2008 06:44 AM
Will I ever be really happy while married??? hillaryb Relationship Health 19 07-16-2007 10:38 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



angeleyz81 (117), White Sneakers (17), Truthseek (12), Prettyinpink86 (7), Alyssa946 (7), BLUEBYU (7), backpacker (6), CadenceA (6), babyjane30 (6), layla87 (6)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:32 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!