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Old 04-21-2004, 06:16 AM   #46
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myblusky HB User
Re: Happy Couples

I thought I would add to this and keep it going. I was just diagnosed with Herpes I & II. I just got the news shortly after my engagement to my fiance. My finace didn't give this to me either. I've had this for years, but the symptoms were mild so I didn't know it was herpes.

I've been more freaked out by it than my boyfriend. He has been great about it. He hasn't been tested yet, but he has informed me that we are sticking together whether he has herpes or not. He also said that he will not blame me if he does have it because he says he might already have gotten it from someone else. There are millions of people who don't know they have it so he said it is possible he could be one of those people.

My boyfriend said that this virus is only as important as I make it. If I let it rule our lives then it will. If I think of it as a minor annoyance then that's all it will be. He also informed me that if his blood test comes back negative then he doesn't want me to constantly be worried about transmitting herpes to him. There are risk in everything we do and he is will to except the risk. His view is that while herpes isn't fun, it doesn't kill you or cause major health problems either.

I have to admit that it will be difficult for me to not worry about passing this to him if he doesn't already have it. I will have to work on that aspect of myself. I love his so dearly that I don't want to hurt him in any way.

I feel very lucky to have someone like this in my life. There are moments when I feel sorry for myself because I have this virus, but I mostly feel glad to have met someone who is so wonderful, loving and supportive. I only hope I can be as wonderful to him in return.

 
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Old 04-29-2004, 02:11 PM   #47
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outinthesticks HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Hey all, you asked for some newbies to add so here goes.
I contracted HSV2 eight years ago. My first ob was just a day or two after having sex with my boyfriend, he neglected to tell me and later tried to tell me I gave it to him... so sweet. So I was abstinent until an old highschool romance was rekindled. I knew we were going to become intimate so I swallowed the lump in my throat and told him all about it. HE was great about it, maybe a little quiet at first, but he said it was OK and he didn't care one way or another. We've just celebrated our 5th anniversary, and we have 2 beautiful children which I gave birth to all naturally, no problems.

Before we got married, i very rarely had obs, maybe 2 a year. Now with two kids under 4 years old, I have quite a few more but they usually only last a little over a week. Mine definitely are related to sleep loss. I've tried Valtrex once, during an outbreak, but I didn't notice any difference in how fast it went away, can't afford that anyway, and to be honest, I didn't know there were other ways to treat obs or to suppress till I happened upon this site.

My husband has never had any signs of contracting H and we've never really used condoms, unless he just can't take it anymore and we have to do something around one of my obs. He's less cautious about catching it than I am, he says he doesn't care, but I wouldn't want him to suffer through obs if we can help it. THe only time we think about it is during one of my obs, other than that we have a normal sex life, (well, whatever you can call normal with two munchkins on your heels) Its just a little inconvenient, kinda like my period, we just have to work around it. He's never, ever made me feel like I'm diseased or less than perfect because of H.

Something interesting, He does have oral herpes, he's had it since childhood, but he's only had maybe 3 obs since we've been married, and I've never had a cold sore to this day. Neither have either of our kids, and there's no shortage of kisses in this house.

I'm so glad I found this board. I don't know anyone else who has this, so I don't have anyone to share or talk to about it. Thanks!!

 
Old 04-29-2004, 05:39 PM   #48
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Ornament HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by outinthesticks
Hey all, you asked for some newbies to add so here goes.
I contracted HSV2 eight years ago. My first ob was just a day or two after having sex with my boyfriend, he neglected to tell me and later tried to tell me I gave it to him... so sweet. So I was abstinent until an old highschool romance was rekindled. I knew we were going to become intimate so I swallowed the lump in my throat and told him all about it. HE was great about it, maybe a little quiet at first, but he said it was OK and he didn't care one way or another. We've just celebrated our 5th anniversary, and we have 2 beautiful children which I gave birth to all naturally, no problems.

Before we got married, i very rarely had obs, maybe 2 a year. Now with two kids under 4 years old, I have quite a few more but they usually only last a little over a week. Mine definitely are related to sleep loss. I've tried Valtrex once, during an outbreak, but I didn't notice any difference in how fast it went away, can't afford that anyway, and to be honest, I didn't know there were other ways to treat obs or to suppress till I happened upon this site.

My husband has never had any signs of contracting H and we've never really used condoms, unless he just can't take it anymore and we have to do something around one of my obs. He's less cautious about catching it than I am, he says he doesn't care, but I wouldn't want him to suffer through obs if we can help it. THe only time we think about it is during one of my obs, other than that we have a normal sex life, (well, whatever you can call normal with two munchkins on your heels) Its just a little inconvenient, kinda like my period, we just have to work around it. He's never, ever made me feel like I'm diseased or less than perfect because of H.

Something interesting, He does have oral herpes, he's had it since childhood, but he's only had maybe 3 obs since we've been married, and I've never had a cold sore to this day. Neither have either of our kids, and there's no shortage of kisses in this house.

I'm so glad I found this board. I don't know anyone else who has this, so I don't have anyone to share or talk to about it. Thanks!!
Dear outinthesticks, (cute name)

Bravo ~ Keep posting here....You're more than welcome......All down home @ heart.......Take good care, - Ornament

 
Old 05-04-2004, 06:40 AM   #49
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backpacker HB Userbackpacker HB User
Re: Happy Couples

There is good life and love after herpes!

 
Old 05-25-2004, 01:51 PM   #50
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Talking Re: Happy Couples

Iam a 21 year old who is with a 29 year old we have been together for almost 5 years now. About a year ago he found out he had H while i was out of town..it was a very difficult time but i had to come to terms that my life wasnt going to end because of bumps! I havent ever had any signs of H ,we do use condoms during OBs or sometimes we dont have sex period during OBs, the main thing is we try not to make it the center of our lifes. Its just a little bump in the road for us and im sure for many others!! I just wanted to share my story to others and also my age group to let them all know it will be ok its not the end of the world!!!

Also thank you all for you Happy Couple stories im happy to find out we're not the only couples out there. I think it made us closer and our relationship unique!!!!

Last edited by Dianjm83; 05-25-2004 at 02:18 PM.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 05:19 AM   #51
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Dee74 HB User
Re: Happy Couples

I thought I'd just add my story to the list.. it's a happy one

My husband and I have been married now for almost a year (in July). He was a virgin when I met him.. he was also 22 years old (hard to come by these days!). He's a WONDERFUL man. I swear I can't say enough good things about him!! We actually met online in a chat room a little over 4 years ago.. moved in together after about 8 months of "online dating" and driving back and forth over 14 hrs each way to see each other once a month. Even crazier huh??

At the very beginning of our relationship, I was very honest. I have always used the fact that I have herpes as a "weed killer". Basically, if I was in what seemed to be a good relationship and it seemed to be heading toward getting intimate, and I told him about the big H and he ran off, I didn't need him anyway. Unfortunately it's a package deal right??

When I told him, he was basically like "and your point would be....??". I was blown away. Never had I come across that.. I mean yeh, I've dated and had sex quite a few times after being diagnosed 10 years ago, but H always hindered it in some way.. mentally I mean.

Hubby and I do not use condoms.. never have. Besides me having herpes, neither of us have any other STDs (both been tested). Even after being together over 4 years, he's yet to contract it from me. I've also only had maybe 3-4 outbreaks in the last 10 years though. We also never have sex any time that I even feel the slightest tingle down below. He swears up and down that he doesn't care if he gets it.. he says that he knows it'll probably happen eventually and it's really no big deal since he loves me.. and if that means he has to get the big H, then so be it. What an awesome man I have

 
Old 05-26-2004, 12:23 PM   #52
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serialnovelist HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by backpacker
There is good life and love after herpes!
Yeah maybe if your FEMALE !!!!! anyone notice all these happy couples stories are all WOMEN with herpes and NOT MEN. When was the last time you heard a "happy couple" story from a guy? ***listen to the silence***

 
Old 05-26-2004, 02:35 PM   #53
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positiveone HB User
Re: Happy Couples

SerielNovelist..Hi! I haven't been on here in a while and just checked in. I would like to comment. I think the women are more open to talking about their experiences...I WAS sure that men were less accepting by far of herpes than women are. I met someone that is absolutley wonderful about 5 or 6 months ago. I am getting married next month to him and I can't wait. We told him after about 5 dates that I had herpes cause I knew I really liked him right away. We have been together every single day...his response was so what..I am not letting that keep me from you.

About 4 weeks later he proposed...and about 3 or 4 weeks later we moved intogether. We don't use condoms..his choice...I take Valtrex everyday...well something did happen that shocked me. The other night I told him I got off Valtrex..well my prescription ran out....I had to pick up more..well I started tingling the next day...he said we should hold off til I got some more...well about a day later..we couldn't so I suggested condoms...we are not use to them..and well it was not a good experience..eventually it broke and I noticed it first..I told him it broke..he quickly jumped up and ran into the restroom and began washing himself...I was shocked and then I cried...he came back in and said it was ok.

I understand the way that he felt..perhaps I would have done the same..if not worse..If I were in his shoes...I asked if he was sure he wanted to be with me and what I brought to the table and he said yes positive..he said it caught him off guard but it was ok because I am about to become his wife..I think in his own way he deals with it eventhough he said its not a problem..I will do my best to protect him at all times.

Back to your statement..I think it doesn't matter if its male/female..that accepts it..I think its the person.....

 
Old 05-26-2004, 06:07 PM   #54
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serialnovelist HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Postiveone, see that was a nice story and all and i'm happy for you, but your still a female with a MALE who accepts it, of course a MALE is gonna accept it. i won't go into details WHY because i don't want to get banned, but it's all about the Hoo Haw with guys, K ?

Now take that situation you have and reverse it, what if HE was the one who had it and you didn't and you didn't know what you know now, think you'd be so eawsily accepting of it ? something tells me noooooo. would i personally as a guy be accepting of it NOPE, well YES but only because of what i know now. Is there a woman out there who will accept this about me ?? not bloodly likely unless of course she has it herself. So you see i'm totally cool with this herpes thing cause it's not even an inconvienence to me, if i didn't say something to someone, you wouldn't even know i have it. DO i shed ? rarely. is my sex life over ? you bet at least temporarily, until someone does fall head over heels, madly in love with me, and then of course i'll tell them and refrain from anything sexual till then, if not i can always join a monastary.lol

 
Old 05-26-2004, 07:06 PM   #55
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Re: Happy Couples

Oh, come on, serial--I got it from my husband, told you that; and I knew from the start (I mean when we started dating, not when we decided to marry, which was much later) that he had it. And one of my best friends from high school started dating a guy in college who she knew had it. Also years later, they married, and are still married, with several children and a good life. I know several couples with the same, uh, demographics. It's not whether you're male or female; it's what kind of person you are and what you judge people by (and perhaps what your fears are.)

Last edited by backpacker; 05-26-2004 at 07:07 PM.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 08:16 AM   #56
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positiveone HB User
Re: Happy Couples

SerielNovelist.....there is a good woman...several good women out there that WILL accept you. I don't even know you but from your last posting...minus the who haw comment...I can tell you integrity and character are pretty impressive...you, A MAN, willing to refrain from se* knowing how important who haw is to you guys....is impressive to me...I wish the guy that I was infected by had half the integrity that you have.

I was so in love with the jerk that gave it to me if he had told me knowing me yes I would have accepted it..if I thought we were going to be together forever...naahhh let me stop lying..he was a jerk I would have run..but my fiance if it were him..yes without a doubt..I would have accepted him with no problem..he's wonderful..and just to disclose the information shows me so much a bout a person...

I was rejected by someone that claimed to love me and I am soooo happy now...if that had not happened I would have never met my sweetie...I like the expression of using herpes as a weed killer...you will meet the person that GOD has for you..trust me and when you do it will be sooo beautiful it will be well worth the wait....I can promise you that.

Keep your head up man...

 
Old 06-14-2004, 07:11 PM   #57
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justbecause HB User
Wink Re: Happy Couples

I'm not in a happy couple anymore but I thought I'd post here with a story just to keep the good vibes going.

I was diagnosed nearly four years ago after I had already become very much involved and fallen very much in love with an amazing guy. I'm fairly certain I got it from my last BF before him...just from things he said and things that happened that I was blinded to at the time, though he's not the type who would ever admit it to me. Anyway, I was devastated but my bf at the time was great, supportive loving just awesome. Unfortunately, we had sex before I figured out what it was and sure enough a few months later he had an ob.

We were together for four years and by the end of our relationship we were so far past the stigma that we never even mentioned it, though we never really went down on each other again and used condoms all the time (for birth control purposes only). It just wasn't even a factor in our relationship anymore. It was kind of a factor in our breakup though, not in that we broke up because of it....the opposite. I think we were both hanging on to each other longer than we should have because of this comfort zone we had and the fear that we would never find it again. At least, I knew that was true on my part.

We are still great friends and because I don't share my little "secret" with many people, it's nice to still have him in my life for the understanding he offers me and vice versa.

I have hope that I may find another guy like him who loves me enough, and even if I get shot down over and over until I find that, in the meantime I have a ton of friends and family I love and memories of a really good relationship to sustain me.

I don't take any drugs anymore for it...don't have that many obs and even when I do they are not severe and disappear within a day or so...., warm bath, a good book a bunch of water and some sleep pretty much do the trick. I've decided I'm not going to get bent out of shape for what is basically a pimple to me. Don't get me wrong, psychologically it sucks and I do worry about falling in love again, but I can't let myself get all worked up.... that just feeds it.

It's funny, serialnovelist, I kind of fantasize sometimes about meeting a guy with Herpes. I would love it if someone sat me down and said "there's something I need to tell you" before I had to.

 
Old 06-25-2004, 07:21 PM   #58
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Ornament HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Bumping up......

 
Old 07-10-2004, 05:22 AM   #59
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Re: Happy Couples

Bumping again.

 
Old 07-10-2004, 07:45 AM   #60
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why_me_2003 HB User
Re: Happy Couples

Ok so I have a success story. I am so excited about this. I found out about my herpes about a month ago. I have genital herpes. I have never had sex. I have had oral sex so this was extremely hard for me and still is. Well I have met this guy who is so wonderful he is my knight in shining armor. We have decided that we aren't going to have sex till we are married. I have been feeling like I needed to tell him because even though we haven't been together very long things are getting very serious and I felt he needed to know. I was so scared telling him. (this all happened last night) I cried because I hadn't told anyone besides my parents about this. He looked at me and smiled and said I dont' care I love you anyways. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I just had it in my mind that he was going to say ewww go away. I was so shocked that he was so understanding. It was amazing. Well that all happened last night and I had to share it with someone.
Cassie

 
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