When I was with my ex that gave it to me I never thought about it. I loved her and knew due to check ups of me and past partners she was the one that it came from.
She left me now I live in fear of the day I have to tell someone, it sucks. I am ashamed to say I was with two people since and they are both OK I did not tell them. The guilt is something I can not handle though, so no more drinking till I have forgot. I am dating two people and the deciding factor will be which one I feel I can tell and them not care.
Wait--- is that "Serial" as in "SerialNovelist"?
Have I been so out of it on the board that I didn't know that Serial go married?
Yay for you guys!!!!
YUP MRA that's MY MAN ....and yes we got married on january 28th in a simple ceremony, we both cried as we exchanged our rings and took our vows. I've been married twice and this is my third and neither of my X's ever cried at our wedding, i know how much he loves me. he's the most wonderful man...he truly his...or i wouldn't be his wife. What man would take on the responsibility of 4 kids( actually five but one only lives with us during long holidays and summer) none of which are his for the love of his wife.
and herpes hasn't changed anything at all for us, we have a completely normal life and the problems we do have aren't herpes related.
he asys yep, you've both been out of the board loop for quite awhile. TTFN
I have spent most of the night reading through all of these inspriational stories. They have made me feel better. My ex cheated on me, and gave me HSV-II 7 years ago. I never had any secondary OB's that I knew of, I had 2 healthy children with him after the fact, (vaginaly). We ended things over 2 years ago. This past year, I have found a wonderful man, He means so much to me. He has been over seas, in the military. For 6 months we flirted and talked and became very close, through emails and letters and a couple steamy phone calls. Then he came home on leave, we couldent wait to be together. I wanted to forget about the herpes, since I had not had any other OB's through the years, I thought I was "off the Hook" We were intimate for the whole 2 weeks that he was home and I didnt tell him. I just couldent. A few weeks after he went back, I was stressed from missing him so much, I had an OB, it wasnt that bad. I cant stop thinking about how horrible it would have been for him to get this virus, especially in those kind of stressful conditions. He will be back soon, and I know I have to tell him. I am so scared of what he will think and say, he's going to feel so devistated. I've also been worried that he could be medically discharged if he gets it from me and that could ruin his life and career. I cant stand the fact that I have to face him and tell him this! And that I played russian roulet with his health, when he could have had a choice. I have no idea how he will react. He is so excited about coming home, and being with me again! If being in a war zone for a year wasnt enough, now I have to drop this bom on him! And to make it worse, I will have to tell him "in the heat of the moment" its either that or on the phone or in a letter and I dont want to do it that way. I have been balling for days over this. I have looked into all of the suppresents and natural cures and vitamins online, but I am worried if I start expreminting them now, I will trigger more breakouts, since I rarely have them as it is. Can anyone out there please help me, how do I tell him, do you think he will leave? Can he get discharged from the service from this? I need some good advice right about now! I love him so much, I would rather fall of the planet, than have to face him with this. Thanks!
Last edited by lovestruck; 03-03-2005 at 09:36 PM.
DON'T wait until the "heat of the moment" to tell him. Just sit down and talk with him and tell him. That's how I did w/my boyfriend. There were numerous times that I wanted to tell him right before we got into "doing the deed". I chickened out each time. You need to just have a regular, sit down kind of talk with him.
I have been so sick over this. I really appreaciate the replys. They helped a lot! My handsome hero will be home in about 4-6 weeks. I am so excited, but terrified at the same time. Hopefully when he gets here I wont self inflict an outbreak from all of this stress. I bought some multivitamins, Elderberry (for immune support??) and some olive leaf extract. Too many pills!!!! Like 10 total per day. I really dont think I need all of them but want to take all precautions. I will try to make some of the garlic oil too. I know that he is going to attack me when he sees me and he is going to naturally expect me to do the same. We have (jokingly) talked about releasing our frustrations in the airport bathroom. lol We will have the talk but I am just so affraid that he will feel differently about me when I tell him. If he came home missing a limb or worse I would love him the same and take care of him. He is the perfect man in my eyes, I truly love him. I just dont know if he will be understanding and excepting of my life long STD that I neglected to tell him about. This board has been so helpful to me. Thank you all for helping me accept my viral flaws. I understand that he will either love me regardless or leave me, if thats case it wanst meant to be anyways.
Bumping up. Things are stable and great with my great guy. I may not be on for a while because in 1 1/2 weeks I will be going backpacking, alone for 2 weeks and then with him for 1 week. Can't wait! Time to get centered, find myself again. And get back into shape!
It's very good to once in a while get away on your own or to stay home on your own while everyone else has gone away. I always feel 'different' afterwards. I like your word for it backpacker, 'centred'. Have a great time
Just got home a couple of hours ago and wanted to check in with you all. I had a small ob on the trail after I first got out, probably because of all the physical stress, but it went away long before my soulmate came out to join me. I feel better physically and emotionally than I have in a long time. I've lost weight, gained muscle, rethought my life and reactions to people and situations, memorized poems, read, written, gotten lost when my compass broke (but found my way again, of course), jumped into hypothermia-inducing swimming holes, and gotten into rhythm with the earth again. And K and I talked about some issues that we needed to consider together, and reaffirmed our love for each other. All in all--as always--a very fulfilling and successful trip. This is why I'm Backpacker.
Good on you backpacker, you appear to have achieved so much in such a short time frame. Actually your short paragraph sold hiking and getting back with nature so well, makes me want to go do the same right now
Anyway, i just wanted to add another success story i heard of over the weekend. My friend and i were talking about std testing etc which led to a herpes chat. A female at her work got herpes from a partner who she later broke up with. Not b/c of the herpes, but the relationship just failed for other reasons. She has since move on, met someone else who she is now married to. She does take some form of medication so that hopefully her partner doesn't get herpes too, but they are both very happy.
I'm am however very upset with a tv commercial airing here at the moment which has been put out by the Government. It's an advert about std's and how using condoms is the only form of safe sex. I took down the phone number on the advert last night and will be phoning them to ask is this the best they can do to make people aware that herpes can't be kept away by a condom!!
Great Audrey! I know this thread is about happy couples but I just had to comment on that ad thing. I think it´s super if you call them! I wish so much I would have had the proper info about herpes in time, seems I knew nothing! Just knew about transmission of chlamydia, hiv etc., totally illiterate on herpes. I think gyns should educate us too, remind us every time we pop in for an appointment of how different diseases get transmitted and how we can best protect ourselves.
Lucky you bumped this up backpacker as i knew i had commented somewhere about a tv advert, but forgot where it was as i had wanted to post the outcome.
Well i phoned the telephone number which appeared on the tv advert as they only seemed to say "the only safe sex is with a condom". When i told them "what about herpes", they gave some vague answer saying a condom is better than nothing. I told them they ought to be educating people a lot better in regards to herpes as basically everyone doesn't know the full story until they catch this virus themselves. They took my points on board, but whether anything will change, who knows!! But i do feel better for phoning them
I am married and consider myself to be in a Happy marriage. We have sex often and love each other very much. When I told my DH on our second date I had Herpes it was uncomfortable no doubt, but he took it so well, and still called me the next day, LOL!! When we started to become intimate we sometimes used condoms and sometimes didn't. We had both had HIV negative results, and he knew about my STD. He had nothing and knew the risk that he could catch it and still wanted to be with me without condoms.
We have been married 5 years and we are pretty sure that my DH has Herpes now, but thankfully when he gets a bit irritated it does not hurt him and doesn't last long.
I actually also have HPV and when I told him if ther Herpes I had to tell him about that as well. Believe me, telling a man about having 2 STD's you got is not easy. I felt like it made me look bad, but because he and I had been friends for a while before we started to date he knew who I was and the other stuff just didn't matter to him.
After 9 months of dating we got married and now have children. We don't live our lives worried or even thinking about the STD's. We rarely have issues with them and deal with them when they come along. I remember on my wedding day my mom looked at me and asked me if I had told my than fiance about the STD's. I was like yeah!! As if I would be that irresponsible and as if he would dump me if he found out. When I told my mom yes, she was surprised. Why she picked my wedding day to ask me that is beyond me, LOL!
Thing is I had/have a man that loved me for me and knew everything about me so that we got married there was nothing standing in the way of us, we got to share our love freely with each other and still do to this day!
If you really love someone or care for someone a simple thing like Herpes wont do a thing to the relationship! It hasn't for me and I am blessed!