"Also, when you say you hate when doctors say you do or don't have herpes by just a visual are you referring to her doctor who said she did or my doctor who says I don't have it?" All doctors in general. It's not very scientific and like I said it appears in different people as different things
"She had a cold 2 weeks ago she had caught from school I guess and she ended up getting me sick. We did have sex that weekend as we were getting over our cold symptoms." Did she also have a fever and aches with this 'cold?' A typical primary outbreak can cause flu like symptoms that people dismiss.
"I agree we should get tested for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I am just wondering why I don't show any symptoms. Every now and then I get large bumps or cysts on my buttocks region, not near my anus. It is sometimes uncomfortable to sit but I thought they were hemrhoids. When I told my doctor yesterday he said they're not and not to worry. But next time come see him so he can take a sample." Some people get bumps, pimple like bumps, paper cuts, rash, red flesh dots or blisters that have clear fluid etc. Some people show no symptoms. Each individual's immune system is a big factor. It could be anything. Get the blood test and go from there.
"Oh also, I sometimes put my hand in my mouth to gather saliva to put on her vaginal lips prior to intercourse. Oh my God, I recall having a painful bump on the roof of my mouth and tongue last weekend. Could I have given her herpes this way??? Because we didn't have oral sex but the spit still may have transferred. I haven't had bumps on my tongue or roof of mouth before during our relationship. Please inform me. As I mentioned I did have cold sores as a kid. None in the past 10 years. But I am wondering if because of the fact I had a cold that week that the bumps on my tongue and the roof of my mouth may have been a HSV-1 oral herpes outbreak!?" That one I don't know. I never had cold sore so I'm unfamilar with how that feels or operates. Lucky me got type 2. The one with the big stigma attached to it. The only real way to know if it was herpes is to have it swabbed by your doctor should you ever experience it again.
Read old posts here especially regarding testing. It will help you make sure you get the right test (IGG not IGM) and how to interpret the results. Good luck and let us know how it goes. And try to relax. Hard I know but try.