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Old 10-21-2008, 10:11 PM   #1
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Question Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about 2 months now. It has been unprotected for the past month and a half. Everything has been fine.

This past week she had called me and said she had a pain in her genital area that felt like a bump under the skin that one may get after shaving. She then mentioned that the pain had worsened as the next 2-3 days went by.

We had sex two days ago (Sunday) and before that hadn't had sex since last week Monday (8 days ago). She was fine until about Wednesday when she mentioned the bump but didn't think anything of it because of how she described it so I thought she had just shaved her pubes.

Now Sunday she said it hurt and wouldn't let me touch her or see her.

Today she had a doctors appointment because she said the pain was too much. One thing I must point out is that I notice that she isn't very sanitary. If she is over by my place she would sometimes not shower or I would notice she would use the washroom and come out without washing her hands! I called her out on it but just thought it was strange because as a woman it's important to keep that area as clean as possible.

She called me and said that her doctor told her she has herpes and that I should get tested right away! I freaked out. Neither of us has cheated on each other as we discussed. Everything had been fine so how could she just have it suddenly? She said she read it could remain on toilet seats for 2-4 hours then she wondered if someone in her household had it as they all use one washroom. Her house is a mess, nobody cleans and her washroom is disgusting.

I immediately called my doctor and went to see him. I looked at myself after talking to her and noticed absolutely no symptoms. I had one bump on my abdomen about an inch below my belly button and it was filled with white stuff like a pimple. It had been there for about 5 days and I popped it about 3 days ago because it became uncomfortable. It was not a group of bumps and I showed my doctor where it was and he said it is nothing. He took a look at me and told me I'm healthy and I definitely do NOT have herpes! I even mentioned that I had unprotected sex with her the day before and he said that I'm fine and don't have it but if I were to notice any sore to go see him to have it looked at.

He asked if I was her first partner and I said no as I am not. He mentioned that she may have been a carrier and had an outbreak. I asked her after the appointment if she has had an outbreak before but ignored it etc. and she said hell no this is the first time. I believe her. I was also freaking out because although I believe I didn't have herpes because of no symptoms and practicing safe sex I just failed to make sense of this. How does one just suddenly get it?

She mentioned she has had oral sex performed on her atleast twice that I know of in the past.

She is in so much pain that she said it hurts to walk and wear underwear. She also said that when she went to see her doctor, she cursed when taking a look and told her she had herpes. She didn't have a pap smear as her doctor said she should do one when it clears up? Why? Why not take a sample of what you see to make sure?

I really need some information and feedback. Could this be a misdiagnosis?
If she had herpes wouldn't I have caught it as I had unprotected sex with her during her pain in her genital time? I love her and if she has it I will be with her and I explained that to her.

I just really need some information. Please.

 
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:53 AM   #2
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

I hate it when doctors diagnose on just a visual for herpes. This thing looks like many different things on different people. They should have swabbed the bump at least.
What I would do if I were you is to get both of you tested for both HSV1 and HSV2 with a HerpeSelect IgG blood test. If either of you have had the herpes virus for longer than (GENERALLY) 3-4 months the antibodies should show up in your blood. (Please note for some people it takes longer for the antibodies to show up-- 3-4 months is 'normal' for most people.) If both of you are negative at this time then it could indicate that this is a new infection. (If the swab had come back positive and blood test is negative it GENERALLY says that this is a new infection and your body has not produced enough antibodies to be detected in your blood yet.)
It is possible that one or both of you may have had this and are now just having symptoms. Did you ever have cold sores as a kid? HSV1 can be passed to a partner's genitals via oral sex with someone who has a history of cold sores.
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HSV-2 positive. Found out 9-27-07. Flu-like symptom 6-7-07.
Year one outbreaks Sep Oct Nov Dec Apr Jun. Ugh.
Year two outbreaks Dec Apr/May

Last edited by Truthseek; 10-22-2008 at 04:56 AM.

 
Old 10-22-2008, 06:25 AM   #3
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

Thanks for the reply!

Now yes, I have had cold sores as a child. In the winter months when my lips would get really dry, some mornings I'd yawn, then feel a pounding on my lip, head to the washroom and see a coldsore developed on the left side of my top lip.

I have not had oral sex with my girlfriend at all. I also have not had a cold sore since I was about 13-14. I am 23 now.

Also, when you say you hate when doctors say you do or don't have herpes by just a visual are you referring to her doctor who said she did or my doctor who says I don't have it?

I often wondered if I had HPV or genital warts as a kid. I have PPP and sebaceuous glands on my penis. I've had them since puberty and before having sex for the first time. I went to the doctor where I was told what they were and that 33% of men have them and whatnot. But in the back of my mind I was scared that somehow I could transfer something to a girl.

She had a cold 2 weeks ago she had caught from school I guess and she ended up getting me sick. We did have sex that weekend as we were getting over our cold symptoms.

I agree we should get tested for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I am just wondering why I don't show any symptoms. Every now and then I get large bumps or cysts on my buttocks region, not near my anus. It is sometimes uncomfortable to sit but I thought they were hemrhoids. When I told my doctor yesterday he said they're not and not to worry. But next time come see him so he can take a sample.

Any more information regarding our situation with the information I've provided would be appreciated.

 
Old 10-22-2008, 06:51 AM   #4
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

Oh also, I sometimes put my hand in my mouth to gather saliva to put on her vaginal lips prior to intercourse. Oh my God, I recall having a painful bump on the roof of my mouth and tongue last weekend. Could I have given her herpes this way??? Because we didn't have oral sex but the spit still may have transferred. I haven't had bumps on my tongue or roof of mouth before during our relationship. Please inform me. As I mentioned I did have cold sores as a kid. None in the past 10 years. But I am wondering if because of the fact I had a cold that week that the bumps on my tongue and the roof of my mouth may have been a HSV-1 oral herpes outbreak!?

 
Old 10-22-2008, 03:17 PM   #5
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

"Also, when you say you hate when doctors say you do or don't have herpes by just a visual are you referring to her doctor who said she did or my doctor who says I don't have it?"
All doctors in general. It's not very scientific and like I said it appears in different people as different things.

"She had a cold 2 weeks ago she had caught from school I guess and she ended up getting me sick. We did have sex that weekend as we were getting over our cold symptoms."
Did she also have a fever and aches with this 'cold?' A typical primary outbreak can cause flu like symptoms that people dismiss.

"I agree we should get tested for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I am just wondering why I don't show any symptoms. Every now and then I get large bumps or cysts on my buttocks region, not near my anus. It is sometimes uncomfortable to sit but I thought they were hemrhoids. When I told my doctor yesterday he said they're not and not to worry. But next time come see him so he can take a sample."
Some people get bumps, pimple like bumps, paper cuts, rash, red flesh dots or blisters that have clear fluid etc. Some people show no symptoms. Each individual's immune system is a big factor. It could be anything. Get the blood test and go from there.

"Oh also, I sometimes put my hand in my mouth to gather saliva to put on her vaginal lips prior to intercourse. Oh my God, I recall having a painful bump on the roof of my mouth and tongue last weekend. Could I have given her herpes this way??? Because we didn't have oral sex but the spit still may have transferred. I haven't had bumps on my tongue or roof of mouth before during our relationship. Please inform me. As I mentioned I did have cold sores as a kid. None in the past 10 years. But I am wondering if because of the fact I had a cold that week that the bumps on my tongue and the roof of my mouth may have been a HSV-1 oral herpes outbreak!?"
That one I don't know. I never had cold sore so I'm unfamilar with how that feels or operates. Lucky me got type 2. The one with the big stigma attached to it. The only real way to know if it was herpes is to have it swabbed by your doctor should you ever experience it again.

Read old posts here especially regarding testing. It will help you make sure you get the right test (IGG not IGM) and how to interpret the results. Good luck and let us know how it goes. And try to relax. Hard I know but try.
__________________
HSV-2 positive. Found out 9-27-07. Flu-like symptom 6-7-07.
Year one outbreaks Sep Oct Nov Dec Apr Jun. Ugh.
Year two outbreaks Dec Apr/May

 
Old 10-22-2008, 07:30 PM   #6
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

Had A Nurse Practitioner FROM PLAN PARENTHOOD Diagnose Me As Having Herpes Only By Visual. Waiting For Blood Test To Come Back. Put Me On Acyclovir For Herpes Too.

Last edited by bluebird1958; 10-22-2008 at 07:32 PM. Reason: MISSED A SENTENCE WANTED TO ADD.

 
Old 11-10-2009, 04:37 PM   #7
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Re: Girlfriend was told she has herpes, but my doctor says I don't.

So i have heard that you CAN transmit from your saliva to her genitals. its harder this way because something about the virus has to attach itself to another mucous membrane.. like wet on wet contact.. liek kissing. or unprotected sex. but its possible that the virus was in your saliva at the time you touched her. but dont freak out because you can get it as a child from someone kissing you! so you may not have givin it to her. and you may have had it forever to like you said i think...

but from what i read meds control it very well. so as long as your carful in the initial outbreak... you should be ok later i guess harder to spread once u have meds!

but as far as it being misdiagnosed.. i agree she needs it cultured when another sore pops up. because ive had a VERY painful sore before on my genitals and it was just a clogged sebacous gland that eventually popped and went away. and it was NOT herpes. i had a gynocologist look at it! so it could be something simple like that and not herpes.

always get it tested. ALWAYS GET TESTED dont take someones word because even tests dont show it right... ! hope this helps

 
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