wellspun

Hi new to the forum, and need advice QUICK. I'll try to make this as short as possible. My gf and I have been together for 5 years. She had a partial hysterectomy and labiaplasty about 5 weeks ago, so obviously we had not been having sex since then. Last Thursday, she came over, and I ended up performing oral sex on her. Before I began, I mentioned that I wasn't sure it was a good idea, since I thought I could possibly have a cold sore on my lip, even though there were no visible signs at the time. She looked at my lip, said it didn't look like I had one, and I proceeded.

Two days later, she said her genital area started getting a bit sore. By Sunday, she was concerned enough to take a real close look down there. Low and behold, she has a swollen labia with whitish blister, and what looked at the time to be smaller bumps in the area. Needless to say, she freaked. I insisted she get a Dr appt for Monday, instead of waiting til her scheduled appt. on Weds. Initially the nurse told her it didn't look like herpes, but after lancing it, changed her diagnosis. She said it most likely is HSV-1, and we're now waiting for test results. I'm going in tomorrow morning to be tested as well.

Her reaction was not great towards me, with accusations of cheating, and anger that I had "given her this!". She talked about how this would affect her in any possible future relationships (ours has been rocky lately), and was angry in general that I didn't have to go through this as well. I tried to be as sympathetic and comforting as I could be, given that I was dealing with a S storm of anger pointed in my direction.

Tonight she brought up the fact that this Friday is the day that she can officially have sex since her operation, and that she expected things to go as planned. Though I have reassured her that this wouldn't be anything that would affect our sex life in the future (wearing a condom every time, etc.), I told her that I didn't think that was such a great idea w/o a condom, seeing as she is in the midst of her first outbreak. She was less than receptive to this, and in fact, was irate. Basically, she wants me to have unprotected sex with her this Friday, and in conversations (the last one being 5 mins ago) stated that YES, she does want me to get this, and doesn't understand why that might not be the best idea.

I understand her feelings a bit (or at least trying to), but that seems flat out reckless. She just stated again that "since I gave this to her", it's only fitting that I should be dealing with this as well. I told her that after the first outbreak clears, I wouldn't be concerned about wearing condoms every time we have sex. I find it hard to imagine that she actually WANTS me to get HSV-1 of the genitals, and is livid that I would see it any other way.

Please help me. I love her very much, and am really upset and sad that this happened, but I'm having a hard time seeing how someone who loves me would want us to go forward so recklessly, and in fact, actually wants me to have unprotected sex while we're in the midst of dealing with this situation. I don't know what to do or say.

Thank you for your time and advice. I really don't know how to proceed, and given our rocky relationship as of late, this could be the final straw that kills it. She doesn't want to talk to me right now due to her EXTREME anger towards me, and on my end I'm having a hard time with the thought that she would actually want to expose me to this knowingly. The last thing she said was that I better HOPE it's not HSV-2, and that if it is she will do everything in her power to give it to me genitally. (I'm just about 100% sure my HSV-1 oral is what she contracted, and can't imagine it's HSV-2). By the way, she is also HSV-1 oral, and has given me oral while having "questionable" sores in the past.

I don't know...