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Old 03-18-2009, 06:36 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15
vanillacupcake HB User
Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

So I have recently been diagnosed and it doesn't seem real to me.
I have had sex with one person who had only one cold sore many years ago. He has no symptoms whatsoever and here I am suffering like I've never suffered before. I feel like he is going to leave me even though he gave this to me(we think it happened thru oral) and has no symptoms. Maybe he should leave me. I have no one to talk to because I don't want to tell anyone.
I have just recently moved out and started living on my own which was stressful and this just adds more stress to my life. I feel so dumb...i never thought this would happen to me. I'm in so much pain and I cried nonstop and right when the doctor told me I began crying and didn't stop until the next day.
I'm so depressed...my life wasn't suppose to be like this. I know millions of people have it but I feel so alone. I feel like I should never have sex again. I feel like my life is ruined. I feel like no matter what I do it will be in the back of my mind and I will never feel normal again. The shame I feel is overwhelming. What would my parents think? My sister? My friends? I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
I don't know if I sound like I'm over exaggerating but I just need to get my feelings out because I have no one to talk to.

 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:17 PM   #2
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Location: Sydney Australia
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JKjnr HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

It is unfair isn't it to get it like that. I got it from kissing a person who had recovered from an outbreak - and it only surfaced months later - real bad. I had 17 lesions all over my face. And was very unwell. Then my doctor got me on high dose Famvir for 5 days. Relief in two days and never looked back. Famvir is expensive true - but you can get it online from off shore much cheaper (just take care choosing). I have stocked up!!. Hope your relationship matters get better. JK

 
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Old 03-19-2009, 12:34 AM   #3
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Location: St.Louis,Mo U.S.
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jill60 HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I do know someone that has herpes & they did tell me that when they 1st found they had it, that with each out break they have they go longer between outbreaks. (hope that makes sense) She also says she can tell when she is going to have a outbreak before any signs appear. With all the different meds they have now that should help & also I would think you shouldn't have to tell your family.
Jill



Quote:
Originally Posted by vanillacupcake View Post
So I have recently been diagnosed and it doesn't seem real to me.
I have had sex with one person who had only one cold sore many years ago. He has no symptoms whatsoever and here I am suffering like I've never suffered before. I feel like he is going to leave me even though he gave this to me(we think it happened thru oral) and has no symptoms. Maybe he should leave me. I have no one to talk to because I don't want to tell anyone.
I have just recently moved out and started living on my own which was stressful and this just adds more stress to my life. I feel so dumb...i never thought this would happen to me. I'm in so much pain and I cried nonstop and right when the doctor told me I began crying and didn't stop until the next day.
I'm so depressed...my life wasn't suppose to be like this. I know millions of people have it but I feel so alone. I feel like I should never have sex again. I feel like my life is ruined. I feel like no matter what I do it will be in the back of my mind and I will never feel normal again. The shame I feel is overwhelming. What would my parents think? My sister? My friends? I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
I don't know if I sound like I'm over exaggerating but I just need to get my feelings out because I have no one to talk to.

 
Old 03-20-2009, 12:33 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4
nvragain HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

Quote:
Originally Posted by vanillacupcake View Post
So I have recently been diagnosed and it doesn't seem real to me.
I have had sex with one person who had only one cold sore many years ago. He has no symptoms whatsoever and here I am suffering like I've never suffered before. I feel like he is going to leave me even though he gave this to me(we think it happened thru oral) and has no symptoms. Maybe he should leave me. I have no one to talk to because I don't want to tell anyone.
I have just recently moved out and started living on my own which was stressful and this just adds more stress to my life. I feel so dumb...i never thought this would happen to me. I'm in so much pain and I cried nonstop and right when the doctor told me I began crying and didn't stop until the next day.
I'm so depressed...my life wasn't suppose to be like this. I know millions of people have it but I feel so alone. I feel like I should never have sex again. I feel like my life is ruined. I feel like no matter what I do it will be in the back of my mind and I will never feel normal again. The shame I feel is overwhelming. What would my parents think? My sister? My friends? I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
I don't know if I sound like I'm over exaggerating but I just need to get my feelings out because I have no one to talk to.

You will make it through this, I know it seems impossible right now but you will.

And you are not alone. Our stories are much alike. Husband got streep throat and cold sores broke out...didn't think anything of it. He was starting to feel better and we had sex one night. No oral. Somehow got transmitted from his mouth to hand to me. Well, within two weeks, I was starting to have problems 'down there' thought maybe I have a yeast infection...went to the dr's and the swab came back positive for herpes.My world was turned up side down. Blood tested positive for Type I. Dr was puzzled and tested blood again @ next pap. Again, Type I only. VERY common to have.....very uncommon where I was getting it. Talk about feeling unlucky.

Yes, it is very very painful. I had just given birth 8 weeks prior and would rather do that a hundred times. Hard both physicly and emotionly, you are not over exaggerating anything....I felt all of that, too. I got Valtrex and some pain meds from the dr and it cleared up.

That was October 2007. I have not had ANY problems since then...NONE...and I haven't taken anything, either. No meds, nothing.

So hopefully I have gotten lucky in a very unlucky situation.

As far as other people knowing (sister, ect.).....If you are worried about what they would think of you, why do they need to know? I don't want everyone to know my business down there. (sexual partners need to know, of course) Tell them (friends, family) and talk to them for support if you want.....but I don't feel the need to tell them as an FYI....does that make sense?

Hang in there, you will make it. You are not alone. I know it's hard...been there done that. You have my thoughts and my ears to talk to.

He shouldn't leave you...he should support you.

Don't know if this will help any.....if anything, know you are not alone.

 
Old 03-20-2009, 09:26 PM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15
vanillacupcake HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

thank you very much for your kind words
i really need them in a time like this
i'm slowly coming to terms with this but i still...i dont know
i still feel like i'll never feel pretty or sexy again
i look around at other people and think "they probably don't have herpes...but i do"
i feel like i dont want to have sex ever again...i wouldnt want to put someone through this and i dont even feel like i can...i feel like i shouldnt even be touched.

 
Old 03-23-2009, 01:56 PM   #6
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smileydays HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

Hi Vanillacupcake, not sure how this site works, so I hope u get this message.
I found out i had hsv 2 about two and a half years ago. I felt the same as you. Sad, unattractive, scared, angry etc. I wasted a year feeling like this having a few good days and then falling to bits again. I was having quite a few minor outbreaks so my doctor put me on valtrex for about a year, it stopped all outbreaks which was fantastic. Eventually i got fed up with feeling so low, i started dating a bloke but was too scared to tell him so ended the relationship. But that reminded me how fun it was to feel happy again. Anyway i met a fantastic bloke, we had a brilliant first date. After 2 weeks i told him about "h" His reply was just - that would not stop me wanting to get to know you better, thankyou for telling me that must have been very hard for you! weve been together well over a year, and are looking forward to the rest of our lives together, babies, marrige etc. I stopped taking my tablets six months ago and touch wood have had no outbreaks so far!! but now im happy, it doesnt bother me at all and i dont feel bad about myself. You will get to a happier place, it might not even take you as long as me. Do confide in someone if u can, i told a friend and my mum, your family will love u no matter what, stds are so common now so dont label yourself as a tramp or something silly for getting one were just unlucky ours stick around in our bodies. Just keep living every day and dont shy away from making new friends and eventually you will get back to your old self. Counselling would be a massive help, i found an online councellor on a herpes website (she was a qualified nurse in stds) and she was a huge help, i was at rock bottom truth be told. But now i look back and cant believe i let myself feel so bad it wasnt the herpes ruining my life it was me and my own fears. I got my life back and its fantastic im so happy and in love. Sorry this reply has been a massive muddled essay!!! I hope it helps because believe me u will be happy again xx

 
Old 12-14-2011, 04:20 PM   #7
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: morgantown, wv united states of america
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motown1 HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

I feel exactly the same way you do! Almost a year ago i recieved oral from someone who had a cold sore. I had no idea and never heard of getting herpes that way. Every day I still wake up wishing it was a dream. Herpes is emotionally traumatizing. I have not been able to tell anyone besides 2 best friends. My family does not know. I feel like a different person now and i am very depressed. I still am not able to cope with this emotionally, and it would be so helpful to have someone else to talk to about this. I just started talking to a guy and all i can think about is how i am going to tell him. I am so stressed about it i cant even function. i've heard stories about people who have success after they tell a partner but i cant even fathom telling someone this.

 
Old 12-14-2011, 04:28 PM   #8
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: morgantown, wv united states of america
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motown1 HB User
Re: Recently diagnosed with herpes and I can't believe it...

smileydays, i just read your post and it made me feel a lot better. I got hsv1 genitally almost a year ago and i am still traumatized and in disbelief. This is by far one of the worst things i have had happened to me in my life so far (which really is a blessing since herpes trully isnt the end of the world) I still cant believe i have herpes and im sitting here righting a post about it. I never imagined in my life this would happen to me. I am having a terrible time coping with this. I have told 2 best friends and neither know what to say when i need to talk about this because they have no idea what i am going through. I can live with the virus becuase i have had 2 outbreaks and they really arent so bad, there are much worse things that i could have. The hardest part is the social stigma. Herpes has completely crushed my cofidence. I feel as though it is going to take a miracle to meet someone who will accept me. i just started talking this guy and i think something might be there. All i can think about is how i am going to tell him and what he will say or think. I am petrified of getting hurt or denied. How do i approach this situation? i need so much help



Quote:
Originally Posted by smileydays View Post
Hi Vanillacupcake, not sure how this site works, so I hope u get this message.
I found out i had hsv 2 about two and a half years ago. I felt the same as you. Sad, unattractive, scared, angry etc. I wasted a year feeling like this having a few good days and then falling to bits again. I was having quite a few minor outbreaks so my doctor put me on valtrex for about a year, it stopped all outbreaks which was fantastic. Eventually i got fed up with feeling so low, i started dating a bloke but was too scared to tell him so ended the relationship. But that reminded me how fun it was to feel happy again. Anyway i met a fantastic bloke, we had a brilliant first date. After 2 weeks i told him about "h" His reply was just - that would not stop me wanting to get to know you better, thankyou for telling me that must have been very hard for you! weve been together well over a year, and are looking forward to the rest of our lives together, babies, marrige etc. I stopped taking my tablets six months ago and touch wood have had no outbreaks so far!! but now im happy, it doesnt bother me at all and i dont feel bad about myself. You will get to a happier place, it might not even take you as long as me. Do confide in someone if u can, i told a friend and my mum, your family will love u no matter what, stds are so common now so dont label yourself as a tramp or something silly for getting one were just unlucky ours stick around in our bodies. Just keep living every day and dont shy away from making new friends and eventually you will get back to your old self. Counselling would be a massive help, i found an online councellor on a herpes website (she was a qualified nurse in stds) and she was a huge help, i was at rock bottom truth be told. But now i look back and cant believe i let myself feel so bad it wasnt the herpes ruining my life it was me and my own fears. I got my life back and its fantastic im so happy and in love. Sorry this reply has been a massive muddled essay!!! I hope it helps because believe me u will be happy again xx

 
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