It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Herpes Message Board

how should i tell him?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-20-2009, 07:12 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: alabaster, Al, United States
Posts: 11
amberd16 HB User
Unhappy how should i tell him?

me and this guy have been dating for about two months and i honestly really love him. he doesnt know that i have hsv 2 and i dont know how to tell him. please give me some ideas or tips.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 03-20-2009, 03:47 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 1
LISA172 HB User
Re: how should i tell him?

I think it's great that your going to tell your new partner,my partner of 3 years has only just told me that he has both types of herpes and that was only because he's had a flare up. My head is all over the place at the moment and i don't know what to think,i feel like i had my choice of protected/unprotected sex taken away from me,i didnt get the choice and ive been having unprotected sex with him for 3 years. If he had of told me that he had herpes,i wouldnt of cared,i still love him to bits just like i do now but i am angry,confused etc. with him for not telling me

Old 03-23-2009, 02:23 PM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2
smileydays HB User
Re: how should i tell him?

Hi, thats great youve met someone u want to tell. I was so scared too. But i thought it would be worse to not tell him and worry he might get it also dont think i could actually do that to someone. I told my boyfriend and as i remember i think id known him barley 2 weeks but he was so great i just had to get it over and done with,lol. Here are my tips i hope it helps u out.

Try not to make it sound like a confession, write it down and say it outloud to yourself a few times so u have a rough idea what your gonna say. Look up some info on it incase he has questions. Dont garble the whole thing out to him in one go, i sxplained it by saying that my previous partner had passed on coldsores to me "down there" (i know im old enough not to be to embaressed by words like vagina but it just sounded not the way i would speak naturally if ya no what i mean!) And most of the time i was fine but like coldsores on your face thay can come back and it can be hard to know when, so it was best not to have sex if i thought i might be getting one. And finished by saying it wasnt normaly a problem for me but didnt want to have to lie about anything to him.

He was sooooo fine with it all and was dead impressed that i had told him and said he thought it was brave as it must have been hard for me to do. As i could see his reaction was good i explained that there was a chance i could still pass it on when i had no symptons (the same way a coldsore on the lip can be passed with no symptons) And its a virus that stays in your system and just can come back sometimes. Theres no point overloading him with info in 2 mins. But obviously i didnt want to mislead him in anyway.

Now my boyfriend says stuff like, i dont care if i get h, im with u for life and i love u stop worrying! Sometimes i have the odd day where i feel a tingle and think i might be getting one so we dont have sex, he justsays i dont care and gives me a cuddle. obvioulsly i dont want him to get it if i can help it, but dont put to much reponsibility on urself - he can make his own decisions. Also i had valtrx tablets for a year and touch wood i havent had any obs for 6 moths!!!! Also my first ob was dead painfull but any others i got were barley anything. I did have one more chat with him after our first chat but he was still cool with it all, we have been loved up ever scince, lol. Write back and let me know how it goes, also one more tip - i was worried id cry like a mainiac thru the whole chat so i approached the whole thing form an "embaressing problem" angle rathe than something i had been devastated about and that stopped me from getting upset and making it seem a lot worse than it is. Go for it and good luck xxx

Old 03-24-2009, 12:29 PM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: alabaster, Al, United States
Posts: 11
amberd16 HB User
Re: how should i tell him?

thank you so much, this helps alot. im probably going to let him know in the next few days, im still worried but deffinitely less worried than before.

thanks )

Old 03-24-2009, 01:29 PM   #5
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 416
Courty HB User
Re: how should i tell him?

When I told my partner it was nerve wreacking he was very supportive though. i actually have had to tell a few partners. All were suprisingly ok with it. I just was honest and informative and they really appreciated me telling them the truth before we were intamite. Its important to know that anyone who does not except you for you is not worth it!

Old 03-24-2009, 04:22 PM   #6
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1
cheermom1995 HB User
Re: how should i tell him?

SO how did it go?

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Hurt feelings - what do i tell my 3yr old to say to other kids? lauriejacknseth Cerebral Palsy 6 02-28-2007 05:43 AM
When is the right time to tell your new partner you have herpes? maryland87 Herpes 6 02-01-2007 04:39 PM
Need Advice - How to tell potential partner zuniz Herpes 1 12-05-2006 11:36 PM
I did not tell before hand Nreality Herpes 1 06-23-2006 12:11 PM
When do you tell a mother she is dying jmurs Death & Dying 8 06-17-2005 05:33 PM
should I tell him? Ashley018 Relationship Health 49 08-27-2004 01:01 PM
DO I TELL MY DR?? ANYONE FEEL THIS?? Toomuch Schizophrenia 3 12-06-2002 05:45 PM
Anyone feel this way / Do I tell the DR ?? Toomuch Depression 15 11-22-2002 02:05 PM
DO I TELL MY DR?? ANYONE FEEL THIS ?? Toomuch Panic Disorders 8 11-21-2002 03:54 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:58 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2016 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!