I think it's great that your going to tell your new partner,my partner of 3 years has only just told me that he has both types of herpes and that was only because he's had a flare up. My head is all over the place at the moment and i don't know what to think,i feel like i had my choice of protected/unprotected sex taken away from me,i didnt get the choice and ive been having unprotected sex with him for 3 years. If he had of told me that he had herpes,i wouldnt of cared,i still love him to bits just like i do now but i am angry,confused etc. with him for not telling me
Hi, thats great youve met someone u want to tell. I was so scared too. But i thought it would be worse to not tell him and worry he might get it also dont think i could actually do that to someone. I told my boyfriend and as i remember i think id known him barley 2 weeks but he was so great i just had to get it over and done with,lol. Here are my tips i hope it helps u out.
Try not to make it sound like a confession, write it down and say it outloud to yourself a few times so u have a rough idea what your gonna say. Look up some info on it incase he has questions. Dont garble the whole thing out to him in one go, i sxplained it by saying that my previous partner had passed on coldsores to me "down there" (i know im old enough not to be to embaressed by words like vagina but it just sounded not the way i would speak naturally if ya no what i mean!) And most of the time i was fine but like coldsores on your face thay can come back and it can be hard to know when, so it was best not to have sex if i thought i might be getting one. And finished by saying it wasnt normaly a problem for me but didnt want to have to lie about anything to him.
He was sooooo fine with it all and was dead impressed that i had told him and said he thought it was brave as it must have been hard for me to do. As i could see his reaction was good i explained that there was a chance i could still pass it on when i had no symptons (the same way a coldsore on the lip can be passed with no symptons) And its a virus that stays in your system and just can come back sometimes. Theres no point overloading him with info in 2 mins. But obviously i didnt want to mislead him in anyway.
Now my boyfriend says stuff like, i dont care if i get h, im with u for life and i love u stop worrying! Sometimes i have the odd day where i feel a tingle and think i might be getting one so we dont have sex, he justsays i dont care and gives me a cuddle. obvioulsly i dont want him to get it if i can help it, but dont put to much reponsibility on urself - he can make his own decisions. Also i had valtrx tablets for a year and touch wood i havent had any obs for 6 moths!!!! Also my first ob was dead painfull but any others i got were barley anything. I did have one more chat with him after our first chat but he was still cool with it all, we have been loved up ever scince, lol. Write back and let me know how it goes, also one more tip - i was worried id cry like a mainiac thru the whole chat so i approached the whole thing form an "embaressing problem" angle rathe than something i had been devastated about and that stopped me from getting upset and making it seem a lot worse than it is. Go for it and good luck xxx
When I told my partner it was nerve wreacking he was very supportive though. i actually have had to tell a few partners. All were suprisingly ok with it. I just was honest and informative and they really appreciated me telling them the truth before we were intamite. Its important to know that anyone who does not except you for you is not worth it!