I'm 30 and was a virgin until last week. Need help or advice!!!! - Herpes Message Board

luvs2laugh · 04-18-2009, 08:51 AM

So, yes I'm 30 yrs old and up until last week I was a virgin. Well, as far as having sex with a guy. I did something WAY out of my normal life. I met a guy that I talked to online for a week. He knew I had never been with a guy. He seemed really interested and I told him I wasn't looking for a sex buddy but something real. We agreed to meet for dinner. We had dinner. Then he asked me if I wanted to come back to his place and hang out until he had to go to work (I left my car at his place). So we did. We started making out and one thing led to another and I think I just felt it was time to finally get this over with. He went to stick it in (our genitals had contact) and I said you need to get a condom. He did, we had sex. That was that. The same night, I met a friend that I hadn't seen in 4 yrs. I told him I needed a drink (I never told him what happened). I haven't even had a drink in 2 yrs. Anyway, we went to a bar, I ended up having 11 stiff drinks and went back to his place. He passed out on his bed. I went to sleep about an hour later. And one thing led to another and we had sex too. He didn't wear a condom. Grrr I feel awful for what I did. Anyway, next day I texted him, asked if he came and he said yes inside you and winked then he said jk. I went and bought the Plan B and took that so I could avoid the prego thing. Now I'm really worried about STD's. I NEVER had to worry about it before because I had never been with a guy. I don't know much about sex, std's etc. I could kick myself for doing what I did!! I have an appt to get a pap in about 3 weeks. I will ask for a full std screening. I want to know if I was going to get something if I would already have it. If the gene is there and then it will pop up sometime later or how the std viruses work. I don't know if it's too soon or what. Also, I've had cold sores for years and I noticed I got one a few days after having sex. Could I give myself oral herpes if one of the guys kissed me and then went down on me? I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn't go to any friends because I'd just die. Any advice and help would be much appreciated! Thank you for reading.

angeleyz81 · 04-18-2009, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvs2laugh

So, yes I'm 30 yrs old and up until last week I was a virgin. Well, as far as having sex with a guy. I did something WAY out of my normal life. I met a guy that I talked to online for a week. He knew I had never been with a guy. He seemed really interested and I told him I wasn't looking for a sex buddy but something real. We agreed to meet for dinner. We had dinner. Then he asked me if I wanted to come back to his place and hang out until he had to go to work (I left my car at his place). So we did. We started making out and one thing led to another and I think I just felt it was time to finally get this over with. He went to stick it in (our genitals had contact) and I said you need to get a condom. He did, we had sex. That was that. The same night, I met a friend that I hadn't seen in 4 yrs. I told him I needed a drink (I never told him what happened). I haven't even had a drink in 2 yrs. Anyway, we went to a bar, I ended up having 11 stiff drinks and went back to his place. He passed out on his bed. I went to sleep about an hour later. And one thing led to another and we had sex too. He didn't wear a condom. Grrr I feel awful for what I did. Anyway, next day I texted him, asked if he came and he said yes inside you and winked then he said jk. I went and bought the Plan B and took that so I could avoid the prego thing. Now I'm really worried about STD's. I NEVER had to worry about it before because I had never been with a guy. I don't know much about sex, std's etc. I could kick myself for doing what I did!! I have an appt to get a pap in about 3 weeks. I will ask for a full std screening. I want to know if I was going to get something if I would already have it. If the gene is there and then it will pop up sometime later or how the std viruses work. I don't know if it's too soon or what. Also, I've had cold sores for years and I noticed I got one a few days after having sex. Could I give myself oral herpes if one of the guys kissed me and then went down on me? I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn't go to any friends because I'd just die. Any advice and help would be much appreciated! Thank you for reading.

I am not an expert on all std's as far as how long they will take to show up.. I think most are rather fast minus the HIV that can take up to six months to be detected.

I am a little confused, you have had oral herpes? but now have a sore down below? If this is the case i would go to the doctor soon to have it cultured. Or when you go for your pap ask that they do the IgG type specific for Herpes as this is not part of the routine panel..

luvs2laugh · 04-18-2009, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angeleyesinnj81

I am not an expert on all std's as far as how long they will take to show up.. I think most are rather fast minus the HIV that can take up to six months to be detected.

I am a little confused, you have had oral herpes? but now have a sore down below? If this is the case i would go to the doctor soon to have it cultured. Or when you go for your pap ask that they do the IgG type specific for Herpes as this is not part of the routine panel..

I was never tested for oral herpes but if you get cold sores, doesn't that automatically mean it's the herpes virus? I'm not sure how I would've got it because I was never sexually active prior to this. I'm just assuming I'd have oral because of the cold sore. I have nothing down below. I was scared that if I DO have the oral virus, since one guy kissed me and went down on me that I could have genital now too.

I called planned parenthood a bit ago and they made me feel crappy. Maybe it was just the lady having a bad day. They're all booked for the next 3 weeks and that's when I have my Dr. appt for a pap. I will definitely ask for the IgG as you mentioned it and I have read about it from others as well. Thanks for your input!!!

angeleyz81 · 04-18-2009, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvs2laugh

I was never tested for oral herpes but if you get cold sores, doesn't that automatically mean it's the herpes virus? I'm not sure how I would've got it because I was never sexually active prior to this. I'm just assuming I'd have oral because of the cold sore. I have nothing down below. I was scared that if I DO have the oral virus, since one guy kissed me and went down on me that I could have genital now too.

I called planned parenthood a bit ago and they made me feel crappy. Maybe it was just the lady having a bad day. They're all booked for the next 3 weeks and that's when I have my Dr. appt for a pap. I will definitely ask for the IgG as you mentioned it and I have read about it from others as well. Thanks for your input!!!

Oh ok .. yes typically cold sores are oral herpes.. many people get this from older people kissing the kids when they are younger

As far as your situation.. I honestly do not think that it is possible to get genital from this man unless he himself has hsv... If it ever did occur with something similar to what you had mentioned I would think it was a very rare case. Especially since herpes is spread from skin to skin contact with the infected area.. and if you do have oral herpes.. it is typically hsv1 which has a much lower transmission rate then hsv2.

Honestly if I was in your shoes I would say knowing what I know.. I wouldnt be worried.. but if you would like for yourself.. I would just get tested for everything like you had planned on.. but I wouldn't drive myself batty over it. I think your going to be A-OK

As for planned parenthood.. they tend to be rude I know from first hand experience as well as hearing from others lol they need to take happy pills before going to work

luvs2laugh · 04-18-2009, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angeleyesinnj81

Oh ok .. yes typically cold sores are oral herpes.. many people get this from older people kissing the kids when they are younger

As far as your situation.. I honestly do not think that it is possible to get genital from this man unless he himself has hsv... If it ever did occur with something similar to what you had mentioned I would think it was a very rare case. Especially since herpes is spread from skin to skin contact with the infected area.. and if you do have oral herpes.. it is typically hsv1 which has a much lower transmission rate then hsv2.

Honestly if I was in your shoes I would say knowing what I know.. I wouldnt be worried.. but if you would like for yourself.. I would just get tested for everything like you had planned on.. but I wouldn't drive myself batty over it. I think your going to be A-OK

As for planned parenthood.. they tend to be rude I know from first hand experience as well as hearing from others lol they need to take happy pills before going to work

Thanks, you made me feel SO much better! I'm still going to get tested but you helped put my nerves at ease a bit. Thanks for being so kind. And yes, those people at planned parenthood need an attitude check!!!

Thanks again!!!!