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Old 04-22-2010, 10:56 AM   #1
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Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He has HSV-1 and occasionally gets cold sores around his mouth, but does not have genital herpes, and I have never experienced either. I have an IUD, and so for three years, we have had intercourse and oral sex (when he does not have a cold sore of course) without using a condom.

5 days ago we had sex for the first time in over 6 weeks. Within 24-48 hours I started experiencing extreme pain and burning around the opening of my vagina, and eventually sores, which to my shock and dismay has been diagnosed as genital herpes.

My question is, what are the chances that I have been exposed to the virus through oral sex with my boyfriend in the past, and I am just now having my first onset attack (24 hours after sex with him)...? Or, is it almost definitely the case that he contracted the HSV-2 virus recently and gave it to me that night?

My doctor has not been helpful and seems unwilling to give me her professional opinion, which is all I am looking for since I don't know anything about this virus and can't find the answers I am looking for online. I am desperate for an objective answer from a knowledgable person before I jump to conclusions and end a three year relationship with my boyfriend by assuming he cheated on me and just gave me the virus last week.

Is it possible he gave it to me before and this is just now happening? Or did he more likely just get the virus in the past few months and give it to me?

Please help...thank you for your opinions.

 
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Old 04-22-2010, 11:35 AM   #2
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

well, first off this virus is very tricky when it comes to finding out when and where and how. there is a chance that either you or him, could have brought hsv 2 into the relationship. but it is also possible that he did contract it in the last few months. normally, if he passed hsv to you it would be hsv 1 because that is what he has orally. so you would have hsv 1 down on your genitals. but you said ou had hsv 2, so i am not too sure what to say. there are alot of what ifs, and maybes. he may be able to get a numeric value on his blood test which will give you guys an idea of when he contracted hsv 2.

 
Old 04-22-2010, 12:15 PM   #3
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

I got mine, with certainty, from my boyfriend who engaged in oral sex with me when he had a cold sore. It was in the beginning stages and we didn't know it was a cold sore. A week or so later, BAM. I had GH. So yes, you can get it that way.

 
Old 04-22-2010, 01:08 PM   #4
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

How did they diagnose you? Via swab culture or a blood test or just visual exam?
The answer to those questions is the start. If it was a culture or a blood test you need to find out what TYPE was picked up in the test - type 1 or type 2.
Then go from there.....
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Year one outbreaks Sep Oct Nov Dec Apr Jun. Ugh.
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Old 04-22-2010, 01:56 PM   #5
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

I guess the reason I am so doubtful is because it happened so soon and so intensely within 24 hours after we had sex. If I had contracted the virus from him sooner, sometime within the past three years, is it not odd that my first attack happened immediately after we had intercourse last week?

Also, we did not have oral sex...which means I would have had to contract it from him sometime within the past few years, and my body reacted to it just now after intercourse last week.

The only other alternative is that he contracted genital herpes recently and passed it on to me last week. This seems like the most probable option, but obviously it would mean the end of my relationship, so I am trying to educate myself as much as possible on the matter and get other's opinions before I make an accusation.

Thank you for all your help...

 
Old 04-22-2010, 02:58 PM   #6
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

Do you have any reason to think that he has cheated on you, besides this?

Keep in mind- a person infected with herpes can be an asymptomatic host. The virus is not always shedding. So even if he really had genital herpes and not just cold sores, that doesn't mean he just contracted it.

 
Old 04-28-2010, 08:19 AM   #7
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

I can see how you are so concerned, it seems very puzzling. I have HSV-2 in my genitals, but it's possible to get HSV-1 or -2 orally or genitally. It's important to know if you have had a blood test to confirm whether it's HSV-1 or -2. Your bf would also have to have one to confirm what type he has. It's possible for you or him to have one or both without any symptoms at all, and since you have been sleeping together for so long, there's no way to tell when it could have happened.

My brother in law has HSV-1 oral herpes and gave it to his ex-gf over 15 years ago after oral sex. She had a horrible outbreak and eventually tested positive for HSV-1 but she never had an outbreak again. Apparently HSV-1 likes to be in the mouth and HSV-2 likes the genitals, when they are crossed to other sites the rate of recurrence is lower. I know that you said you didn't have oral, but I've noticed that sometimes my outbreaks can be spurred by rough sex or if it has been a while since I had sex.

As far as your bf goes, though, I will say that as a woman I have learned to trust my gut...it's never wrong, although advice from other people often is. Why had it been so long since you guys last had sex? That alone is a red flag to me.

Thanks for letting me post and I wish you luck with all of this.

 
Old 04-28-2010, 07:55 PM   #8
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Re: Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened

I agree with TruthSeek, you should find out which type you have. It is a great possibility that it is type 1 since he does get colds sores and you have had oral sex ( it can still be transmitted when there are no signs or symptoms).

Both should get tested using the IgG herpes type specific blood test this will tell you which type you have.

You could have had this for years and not known, people do not always have an outbreak as soon as getting the virus. I would not jump to conclusions to think he was cheating.
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