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Old 07-11-2012, 12:00 PM   #1
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Angry I just found out i have herpes 2 and my boyfriend is scared

I just found out i have herpes 2, never had an out break thankfully. I cheated on my boyfriend (who i have been with for 16mths) with 1 guy un safely from craigs list 3 times, we broke up in December and I went out with a friend and it lead to sex. With my boyfriend and i we had an intense relationship and we were swingers. In the past over 10yrs ago i had a drug habit coke which i kicked and my ex and i were unsafe. I know that this could be in my system for years and also that it could have come from either being safe or un safe sex. I read that there are both men and women in happy commited relationships that one partner has it and the other doesnt and they are happy and lead a normal life. I am scared that he will leave me with this he already is confused and he is so scared. i dont know how to be there for him through this. He fought with me and told me i could not lead a normal life and from what i read i see that i can. I am beyond scared on so many levels and feel strongly i deserve this. Lets also mention I also have HPV the viral version and know there is a 90% chance it will go away naturally and a 10% chance i may have get cervical cancer. So between both and my slutty ways and then hurting my boyfriend the man of my dreams i feel yes i got my karma. i am at such a loss right now and dont know the right way to feel i dont know how to be there for him. the good thing is that he is going to see our therapist (we see a couples counselor) tonight to talk about this and i am so happy that he is going. i have my apointment tomorrow. he doesnt want me sleeping in the same room as him tonight. Earlier before he went to get tested i had a pen to write down the address of the dr office for him and he instead didnt take my pen and used another one. made me feel more disgusting. i also feel selfish for feelings i have and at a loss and scared and i have to put him first and i noticed i got mad at him when i shouldnt i dont know what to do. i am lookin or hoping there are people out there who felt the same way i did or went through this. i need HELP

 
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:04 PM   #2
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Re: I just found out i have herpes 2 and my boyfriend is scared

Hi,
This is a very shocking thing to hear as the person that has it and as a partner. You have to give him time, even though I know your hurting he needs space and that is one of the things that you could do for him.

The virus is not as horrible as it sounds and people do lead very normal lives. If you have a chance you can read the first thread on this board titled "Happy Couples".

Another thing that you can do is read up on the virus in case he does have questions for you at least you may be able to help answer them.

In the end, if he doesn't feel he can be with you because of this virus then he is not the one for you. There are MANY people out there that are accepting of this virus and that is what you deserve because this does not change you, you are still the same person as you were the day before finding out. Also, if one person is not fully accepting of the virus and you stay in the relationship it will never work out, there can't be limitations on parts of you that someone accepts. If you try to make a relationship like that work someone will be hurt and it normally is the person with the virus.

If you need to vent or ask questions there are plenty of people out here that are willing to help Keep your head up, it will get better!
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