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Old 07-11-2012, 07:55 PM   #1
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please let me vent! i need to say something

hi everybody im so new to all this. i found out i have hsv about 2 weeks ago. it really felt like i died. im 22 & i have 2 beautiful daughters that really look up to me. i feel like a piece of ****! i feel dirty, embarrassed. ashamed, regretful & hurt just to name a few. idk exactly where i got it from because i had sex with 1) an on & off again boyfriend that i've been dating for 3mos. well we were pretty much just having sex but we still acted like bf/gf & 2) this guy i met at a party while me & guy1 weren't together. guy2 & i had sex once with a condom & i gave him oral twice. me & guy1 never used condoms. anyway after having sex with guy2 i got sick as ****! flu like symptoms, sore throat & kinda itchy down there. same thing happened after having sex with guy1, sore throat, itchy & painful vagina after sex. before having sex with these guys i already was diagnosed with mono but i took all my meds & everything was fine. i also shaved a few days b4 having sex with them too & you'll see why i added that part. i started discharging like crazy which i hardly ever do, i started itching and burning when i pee & walk. initially i thought i cut myself from shaving but then i noticed bumps. i said **** this im going 2 the hospital. i had a gut feeling i had herpes for some reasons. i was hoping it was just a uti or an infected cut from shaving, **** idk i was just hoping it wasnt what i thought. during the pap test the dr looked @ the bumps & its like he already knew but he still took samples. after that he confirmed what i thought, i have hvs. all i did was cry. i knew i just ****** up my life. on top of that i had bv. i had an gyn appt the next day & my dr was so disappointed. she gave me prescriptions for everything & some pamplets. my mind is still ****** up from this but i try so hard 2 be optimistic but im in so much pain..literally! ok the ob lasted about a week then next thing you know the tingling and itching started coming back (i've been reading sooo much about hsv & asking tons of questions). i knew i was getting another ob, its crazy because i just got rid of the last one like 1 damn day b4 but i guess since it was time for my period it flared back up. 15 days since the news & my emotions & outlook on people & life has changed drastically! im all about improving my health (trying desperately to stop smoking cigarettes) im more hard on guys because i dont want anybody to fall for me or get close. i definitely do encourage my friends to wear condoms & be more aware. i havent told my friends but 2 family member do know. its the beginning of an end for me but im gonna get through this & possiblely be better than i was before. sad this was the wake up call i had to get but it is was it is. my good girl days are over & my bad girl days are over. im figuring out what i want & who i am. i can go on & on but im gonna stop here..thank you so much for letting me get this off my chest.

 
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Old 07-11-2012, 08:16 PM   #2
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Re: please let me vent! i need to say something

Hi,
I just wanted to let you know that this is not the end of the world by any means and that you can still move forward and have happy relationships if you choose to. If you have a moment the "Happy Couples" thread at the top of this board is uplifting and gives hope to being able to move on.

You have come to the perfect place for venting and asking questions.

2 of the main triggers for outbreaks are Stress and and weakened immune system it seems if you have a grasp on that it helps
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Old 07-11-2012, 09:02 PM   #3
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Re: please let me vent! i need to say something

thank you so much. i cant stop crying right now because i feel so alone & upset with myself but i see that its plenty of people like me. im gonna continue to check out other threads on here because living with hsv is so new & scary but i wanna continue to learn more. thanks again

 
Old 07-12-2012, 03:21 PM   #4
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Re: please let me vent! i need to say something

No problem! If you need to vent or ask questions you are in the right place

This virus is not worth the tears girl but we have all been there, trust me and it does get better.
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