Very confused, Lots of questions
I am almost 20 years old and was just diagnosed with herpes. Ive cried for the past 6 days due to pain and exhuastion, the last 3 days due to finding out the source of the pain. Ive been with my current boyfriend who I love very much officially for 5 months now, but we hung out and messed around for 5 months before that. I have been checked multiple times in the past 3ish years, every time I had gone to the gynocologist. Always negative. I was always checked because my previous boyfriends had always cheated on me. My current boyfriend has never been checked but never had any signs of having the virus. BUT he gets cold sores around his mouth more frequently then anyone else I know. I dont rememeber if he ever preformed oral on me while having these or not but Ive kissed him while having them and Ive only had maybe 2 cold sores in my life time, 1 being in the winter during our relationship. We have constant unprotected sex and he finishes in me every time (stupid Im aware) but I am 90% sure I am unable to have children- due to constant unprotected sex with my current ex of 2 years who finished in me every time as well and Ive never been pregnant (again, im aware this is stupid) maybe its just dumb luck that im not pregnant but maybe I just cannot have children. (pretty rare if both the guys ive dated are sterile?) Anyway, I did do a bad thing and cheat on my current boyfriend with one of my exs 1 time during a rough patch we had. (IVE FELT GUILTY EVER SINCE) but I couldnt bare to lose him or break his heart so I dont have the heart to tell him. If I had contracted the disease from the cheating 3ish months ago, dont you think I would have had my first outbreak before now? Could my current boyfriend have the virus and just never had an outbreak? If he didnt have the virus and I was the one who in fact contracted the virus first, and weve have CONSTANT unprotected sex for the last 10ish months, especially since my cheating is there anyway he STILL has not contracted the virus?
PLEASE HELP ME.