Awe, sorry you feel that way. If you are having many out breaks you can ask to see if maybe suppressive therapy is an option or even take L-Lysine its an over the counter supplement/vitamin.
You can lead a normal, happy, healthy life even with the virus. This in no way, shape or form defines who you are and many people are actually very accepting of the virus.
If you have a moment you can read the "happy couples" thread at the top of the board for some uplifting information.