Confused and feeling hopeless
I was diagnosed with genital herpes yesterday. I'm one of the safest people when it comes to sex, have only slept with three people and always insist on using a condom. Yet here I am.
I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with it and feel like I'm destined never to have a relationship, and that no one will accept me with this disease. I had low enough self esteem as it was, and really struggle to let people in.
The guy I think I may have got it from is someone I've really grown to trust. We've worked together since Feb (I am a uni student work part time) and he is three years older and works full time. He decided to get a transfer back to his home city, but it was then that we realised we really thought we'd be good together. The night before he moved away, we spent the night together...I began itching the next day or two. I thought to myself if that keeps on I'll see the doctor in a day or so, probably a yeast infection. Then I saw sores and freaked out, my fears were confirmed.
My housemates all know I'm upset and I trust them immensely, but I don't feel as though i can tell ANYONE. I feel as though I should talk to this guy about it, but who's to say I got it from him? Maybe it was dormant in my body and the sex triggered it. I feel like it's a conversation I should have with him face to face but he's two hours away and i'm bad on the phone. I just don't know what to do.
I'm having a full sexual examination in a couple of hours to make sure I don't have anything else, as the nurse told me if I have one STD, i'm likely to have another. I'm absolutely terrified.
All I want to do is just curl up and forget this ever happened. I don't know what to do with myself. I guess I just came here to vent more than anything, as I don't know who else to talk to.
You guys have written some pretty inspirational stuff on here though, which I thank you for.