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Old 12-06-2012, 02:35 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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spacedementia HB User
Quick Story

Long story short I have been with my girlfriend since April. We dated a few years ago and have known each other for about 5. We found out she was pregnant in August. During the blood tests they tested her for everything and she told me that she has herpes. She didn't say which kind, but something about this type doesn't show symptoms but can still get an outbreak even if you don't see it. Through my own research I have found out about shedding and things like that so I figure that is the easiest time to spread.

I ended up getting tested twice and I am negative across the board, but when I spoke to the woman who gave me my results she said that my girl should get retested after she gives birth. Because she has had false positives with women who came up positive for HIV when they were pregnant and it turned out that their body was just going crazy. Has this happened to anybody here? They also told me when I was tested that things like stress can make your numbers higher for a positive reading, which she is under tremendous stress at work and because of the baby. I just want to know if it is a common thing for pregnant women to get false positives for a Herpes test.

We haven't had sex since July because when she became pregnant her body is not handling it well and she hasn't wanted to. But tonight we leave on a trip because we won't be able to after the kid is born and she wants to have sex again. I am really nervous about it. We conceived the baby using condoms so in my head, using them to help prevent the spreading to me doesn't reassure me. Nothing does. It is bringing up thoughts about if the relationship is worth the risk. I do love her, but I don't know if I am completely in love with her. I know she will be an amazing mother, but I don't know if I want to be with her forever. Anyway... that is my ramblings. A lot is left out but anybody who could help out would be greatly appreciated.

 
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:35 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: minnesota
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Lady La La HB User
Re: Quick Story

Well it sounds like you are in a tough spot with all this. I haven't heard of a false positive for herpes although anything is possible! Does she get cold sores? she could also have HSV1 orally which could have been the reason for her positive reading. 80% of Americans have oral herpes (cold sores). Just a thought since you were unsure of what kind she has With that being said, whether she has it or not this is someone you have been in a relationship with for a long time, you two are having a child. Herpes is not a death sentence, but it is something you should think about if you are having second thoughts about being with her because there will always be a risk, might be slim in some cases though. For some people it is worth the risk because they don't identify the person with herpes, that is just a condition that they have. Now did you have these feels before you found out about her STD? Is that the part that is bothering you? I would sit down and think about the pro's and con's of the relationship itself not her condition. See what you come up with. I know the thought of it can be scary, but trust me there are so many great, amazing people living with this and we are OK! good luck and I hoped this helped.

 
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