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Old 12-18-2012, 07:53 PM   #1
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Unhappy should I stay in this relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months, and I'm only 19 (he's twenty) but he's the best guy I've ever dated. Amazing in so many ways, and I love him very much already, and have since about month 3.

Anyways, he has had coldsores the whole time, and I guess I thought if I could be careful I could avoid catching it. Well I think I'm having my first outbreak now, despite having been EXTREMELY careful the whole time...and it's very unpleasant and painful. I can't wait until it goes away -- at least the fever is done now...

I'm hoping this isn't herpes after all and maybe it isn't; I'm going to get a swab test soon hopefully.
But now that this has happened, I can't help but wonder what our relationship would be like if both of us have coldsores. I know lots of people get them, but my boyfriend JUST told me now, in my freak out, that his last girlfriend also had coldsores.
she gave him oral sex regularly without condoms, which leads me to think there's a chance he may even have genital hsv1 and have it being dormant? I've heard sometime it doesn't show up for years?
I mean, he offered that we just stop having oral sex altogether, but what if the damage is already done -- and, if he's already infected (meaning it's pointless wether or not i would infect him through oral sex as it's already there) wouldn't staying with him really up my risks of contracting hsv-1 genital?

I'm very upset right now because I have never been so happy in a relationship and I wish this wasn't how it is. I love him very much...what should I do? Is the risk even there? Please help

Last edited by mod85; 12-18-2012 at 08:20 PM.

 
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:40 PM   #2
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Re: should I stay in this relationship?

Normally if you get HSV orally it is not very likely that you will get the same strand genitally and if you guys have been having oral sex there was always the risk of you getting it genitally.

I would not make this a deal breaker since you both know what you each have and its not like you can pass it back and forth to each other ya know.

You have a higher chance of getting HSV2 from someone else genitally then you do from your boyfriend with HSV1 since you may have that already.
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Old 12-25-2012, 09:58 PM   #3
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Re: should I stay in this relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by angeleyz81 View Post
Normally if you get HSV orally it is not very likely that you will get the same strand genitally and if you guys have been having oral sex there was always the risk of you getting it genitally.

I would not make this a deal breaker since you both know what you each have and its not like you can pass it back and forth to each other ya know.

You have a higher chance of getting HSV2 from someone else genitally then you do from your boyfriend with HSV1 since you may have that already.
but how would I know if I already have it :/

 
Old 12-29-2012, 01:58 AM   #4
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Re: should I stay in this relationship?

Getting tested is the only sure way. Talk to your doctor and ask for Herpes specific test as regular STD test does not include a herpes test.

I believe it was an IGG test? not so sure. Talk to your doctor about it.

 
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herpes, hsv-1, hsv-1 genital



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