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Old 01-22-2013, 02:23 PM   #1
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oopsies HB User
Is casual sex a thing of the past?

So here's my story: I found out I have herpes almost 2.5 years ago. It was in an area that made me confused as to how it got there (near my booty) so it's not in a direct area of contact. I'm still totally focused as to how it got there, but it appears I am not alone there. I haven't had sex since and just want to get back to some normalcy and honestly, I really miss having sex. I take care of myself and have only had about 3 outbreaks since I found out. I've been honest with people I hook up with, and my doctor told me without an outbreak there isn't much of a chance of giving it to someone, though of course a chance is still there and I just feel shady not telling someone. Is it shady to have sex with a stranger from a bar and not inform them? I would hate for anyone to feel the way I did when I found out and would never want to be responsible for that. Between what my doctor and my friends tell me it's not that big of a deal to have sex when you don't have symptoms but all the information has me confused.

Thoughts?

 
Old 01-23-2013, 07:42 AM   #2
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iamchris HB User
Re: Is casual sex a thing of the past?

For me, casual sex is indeed a thing of the past. To engage sexually without allowing someone to make an informed consent is... non consensual. Another word for sex without consent is rape, be it statutory or otherwise. I know in my heart it's wrong, for me. I wouldn't ever want someone to gamble with the rest of my life because the odds are good.
So, that being said I don't have casual sex. People talk. Even without malice, the fact that 'that cute guy I banged in the bathroom' or 'I was gonna, but he told me he had herpes' is a pretty juicy sentence... one easily shared amongst a woman's friends. I do have a LOT less shame about this than I used too, but I don't wanna wear a T-shirt. If I go there, it is after I have gotten to know someone's character, are they capable/mature enough to empathize even if they decide not too? I've had 1 'no thanks' and 4 that seemed to really be turned on by honesty and vulnerability, and were inspired to go the extra mile.
I hope that didn't sound preachy, or harsh... this is just how I manage it between my ears in order to behave. I love sex, and it would be easy to be inconsiderate and selfish while obtaining it. Peace.

PS... for what it's worth, I had an sexually active relationship for 10+ years without giving it to my girl... no condoms. I did pay VERY close attention to my body. That funny little itch, or something that bore any passing resemblance to a flu symptom and she was cut off from penetration til it was resolved.

Last edited by iamchris; 01-23-2013 at 07:50 AM. Reason: added info...

 
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:45 AM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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I wonder if HB User
Re: Is casual sex a thing of the past?

you absolutely have to be honest! I think its fair to say get to someone's character before having sex with them and having to tell them about the herpes. It's not fair to not inform someone!

 
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