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Old 03-04-2013, 11:26 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
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MutedGibbon HB User
Please read and tell me your thoughts...

Something i prayed would never happen, actually happened today. Whilst i can't exactly talk about it (easily) to friends, i decided to write my experience as some kind of therapy, or way of getting it off my chest.

I never knew i had HSV2... I never had any symptoms... I never worried about it. The word "Herpes" was just something that happened to other people. My sex life was promiscuous, sometimes unprotected... I had regular check ups and was always given the all clear.

It all changed when i met my girlfriend. After a few months of great sex, she became ill. It started with fever and then she had an outbreak. She was tested and came back as positive for having a recent infection, but was not chronic. Obviously i was terrified... I also had the test and it turns out i was chronic and i may have had HSV2 for months... Even years without knowing.

The grief and pain this caused to my girlfriend was unimaginable. I was never really concerned for myself, i was distraught from the pain and suffering i had caused to someone i love so deeply. I can honestly say it was the worst 6 weeks of my life. She suffered REALLY badly... In and out of hospital with severe abdominal pains for weeks.

We love each other... It wasn't easy, but we worked things out.

She has had maybe 3 outbreaks since this began.

This was all about 4 months ago....

My girlfriend went for a retest last week and has come back at totally negative for ANY kind of HSV virus. Usually after a few months the virus naturally evolves to be chronic (like what i have), which also means PERMANENT. Both of her tests were negative. She has seen multiple doctors and they have all said the same thing. None of them can explain it, but they all agree.

I have mixed emotions... On one hand, i am happy for her... She went through a lot of pain, she was scared... And if the diagnosis is correct, she now has a blank slate...

However, as you can imagine... This has put the kiss of death on our relationship. I am still positive for HSV2. I would not want to risk the woman i love, the woman i want to marry and have a life with by possibly re-infecting her. Her gynaecologist basically said that she should NOT have unprotected sex with me. Ever.

I got off the phone with her this morning. We are at a hard place at the moment. We both love each other deeply... She's relieved for her recovery but obviously doesn't know what to do about 'us' now. I am totally destroyed. I felt such pain knowing that i had given her this illness... The guilt and things i suffered were horrid. Now, i'm facing WORSE pain, because it's likely that I'm going to lose the girl i love deeply... I have even got to the point of having enough money for a engagement ring - within a few hours my relationship and life is just in ruin.

Really i don't know what to do... Part of me just wants to set her free and tell her to move on. She can have a future with someone without this illness.

But the thought of losing her is more than i could bare. The idea of it all just causes me the deepest, darkest grief you can imagine.

I would take strength from anyone who has been in a similar position, on just comments of advice.

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 11:01 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1
JWNP HB User
Re: Please read and tell me your thoughts...

Ok, I hate to sound negative here but there is no way that she can be herpes free. If she tested positive for it, it doesn't just go away. I have heard sometimes with a newly infected person that antibodies take longer than normal (or expected) to form in the blood stream. That the only way to find out for sure sometimes is to have the soars tested during an actual outbreak. I would tell her this so she doesn't think she is free from it and then maybe go from there?

 
Old 03-19-2013, 07:37 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
ZWhite HB User
Re: Please read and tell me your thoughts...

She may be resistant but the virus enters nerves and stays there permanently exactly the same as chicken pox. The virus is very very hard to detect. Any doctor telling her she has the all clear should be investigated I think.

 
Old 03-19-2013, 10:19 AM   #4
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(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2
morelia HB User
Re: Please read and tell me your thoughts...

Yeah I dont about all that either. If its true then that's the coolest thing ive ever herd and someone needs to call CNN.. As far as the spot your in right now i know it sucks. My fiance is in the middle of her first break out. It's hard because we knew i had it and she chose to be with me anyway. Now she's paying for it with a very bad break out... All we can do is take this a day at a time. So i get the mental pain your in.. But im sure you two will come arround. Just like im sure my fiance and i will. Keep your head up and dont be ignorant. Once you join the club.. Theres no getting out of it..

 
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