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Old 03-18-2013, 02:21 PM   #1
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(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 5
pearlie1 HB User
What to do... ?

Im hoping someone can be kind enough to spare me a few minutes, to give me a bit of reassurance or offer me some advice.... It really will eb much apprecaited, as Ive got noone else to talk to.....
I contracted HSV1 eight years ago and thought noone would ever want to be with me again (a bit dramatic I know, but we all remember that feeling when we first found out) Luckily for me though the first person I told accepted me and 'it 'completely. I think this is partly why I fell so much in love with that person.....that feeling of acceptance and NEVER having to explain my situation again, as this relationship appeared to be for keeps. Unfortunately it didnt work out in the end and as much as Im fortunate never to have been affected down there again, what with finding myself single again, it has really made the whole stigma thing rear it's ugly head again, in my head.
Basically I've met someone online (who lives in a different city) and we've been chatting for 3 months now. I met him at the weekend and quite liked him so am hoping this develops....the problem?.....I feel that I should wait until I am completely sure there could be something between us before i spout about my sexual health....however, another part of me feels like this guy might end up being annoyed when I do eventually tell him as he might feel like I've wasted his time, if he decides he doesn't want to be with me cos of the herpes. I'd hate to let someone down like that and for them to feel like they've been cheated, but surely this should wait until I know for sure if this is going to develop into something? Or should I be telling him before his feelings for me develop further? Id really appreciate any words of wisdom here.
Thanks in advance.

 
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Old 03-19-2013, 11:42 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2
morelia HB User
Re: What to do....?

What do you feel in your gut? we all have our own way of doing things and either way as long as you tell him before you have a sexual encounter its the right answer. Go with what you feel. However, there is never going to be a "right time" you have to make the right time.... good luck!!! I know its hard. I got lucky I've only had to tell one person and she accepted it. I thought for sure she would walk away. Shes beautiful, more beautiful then anyone ive ever been with. you'll figure it out one way or another and once its off your chest, either accepted or rejected, you'll feel better then you do right now...

 
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pearlie1 (03-19-2013)
Old 03-19-2013, 01:17 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 5
pearlie1 HB User
Re: What to do....?

Thank you for replying. I really appreciate it. My head is telling me wait, because lets face it, I might even decide that I'm not really into him after I've got to know him better!.......but it's just hard cos the longer it goes on with us getting to know each other, the more annoyed he could be that I didn't just fess up earlier, as he's invested time in us, and might feel like i've wasted his time (because he's not dating anyone else in the hope that something might come of us)
It's just the fear of the unkown...and the dreaded rejection.
Im glad you've found someone wonderful that accepted it. Hopefully I'll find that special person too, whoever it may be!

 
Old 03-20-2013, 12:16 AM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Kenosha, Wisconsin
Posts: 6
Global48 HB User
Re: What to do... ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlie1 View Post
Im hoping someone can be kind enough to spare me a few minutes, to give me a bit of reassurance or offer me some advice.... It really will eb much apprecaited, as Ive got noone else to talk to.....
I contracted HSV1 eight years ago and thought noone would ever want to be with me again (a bit dramatic I know, but we all remember that feeling when we first found out) Luckily for me though the first person I told accepted me and 'it 'completely. I think this is partly why I fell so much in love with that person.....that feeling of acceptance and NEVER having to explain my situation again, as this relationship appeared to be for keeps. Unfortunately it didnt work out in the end and as much as Im fortunate never to have been affected down there again, what with finding myself single again, it has really made the whole stigma thing rear it's ugly head again, in my head.
Basically I've met someone online (who lives in a different city) and we've been chatting for 3 months now. I met him at the weekend and quite liked him so am hoping this develops....the problem?.....I feel that I should wait until I am completely sure there could be something between us before i spout about my sexual health....however, another part of me feels like this guy might end up being annoyed when I do eventually tell him as he might feel like I've wasted his time, if he decides he doesn't want to be with me cos of the herpes. I'd hate to let someone down like that and for them to feel like they've been cheated, but surely this should wait until I know for sure if this is going to develop into something? Or should I be telling him before his feelings for me develop further? Id really appreciate any words of wisdom here.
Thanks in advance.
Be sincere and be honest. Tell him straight out. Good luck.

 
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pearlie1 (03-26-2013)
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