I'm new to this but just wanted to have some people to talk to that are going through the same thing. I found out i had herpes a year ago and oddly enough think I got it from my doctor when she put an iud in. I was devastated as I was already depressed because my fiancé just walked out two months before. I was already feeling unlovable enough when I found out I had the herpes virus. Honestly thought my love life was over and prepared myself for dying alone. I felt so disgusting even being in my own skin. I was up for months crying since my first outbreak lasted forever. Shortly after me and my fiancé worked things out and I was afraid the herpes thing was just going to close the door on him wanting me back. He has excepted it infact more then okay with it he has told me he wants to get it because he feels bad that I have to go through this alone and there is no pain in life he doesn't want to share with me. We do have unprotected sex but I'm careful to make sure no outbreaks because even though he is okay with getting it I don't want him to. My point is that life and love are not over. I have to admit though that disgusting feeling never leaves me. Luckily I don't have many outbreaks but when I do I get the feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin again. When I don't have an outbreak I honestly forget I have it but when it comes back I do get horribly depressed and feeling gross. I don't talk to my fiancé about it because I'm afraid if i talk about how much it sucks and how gross i feel he will change his mind about wanting to risk getting it and worst of all see me how I do when I have an outbreak just plain gross.