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Old 05-02-2013, 08:52 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2013
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realityhits HB User
need guidance

I am a 50 year old, attractive female. Until today, I would have considered myself intelligent. Married most of my life, divorced for 5 years. I had an on and off relationship with a man I loved dearly, but his lack of desire to commit had sent me home recently in a tailspin. I only had a yeast infection but it scared me half to death. Upon visiting my obgyn for my yearly, we had briefly discussed my concerns and she suggested that I have a full std screen. She reminded me that the chance of std at my age was actually very high. I had never had testing and strongly agreed that it was time.

Two days later my results came in. I tested positive for herpes 2. I have never had symptoms and was clueless that I in fact carried the virus. I did call my friend and tell him that I had results and informed as to the outcome..He didnt say very nice things and left me feeling guilty and definitely left me standing alone with an over abundance of shame There was no discussion...nothing.

A thousand things spin through my head, on top of a broken heart. I loved him very much and he walked. I may have gotten it from him, I will never know. If I knew that it was me....I would have never ever put him at risk without telling him... I just hurt

So where do you start?

 
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:07 PM   #2
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mintlady HB User
Re: need guidance

The truth is that a lot of people with herpes NEVER have any symptoms. Or if they do have symptoms, they're so mild as to be unremarkable. So you could have had herpes for most of your life. That's just a regular fact of life.

And your doctor is right - at your age bracket, a large percentage of the population has herpes. Your guy may even have it and not know! Most of the time they don't test for herpes unless the person appears to be having a break out.

There are so many people out there who are educated about herpes and understand that all the negative hype out there is just hype. Herpes is just a dermatological thing. It causes uncomfortable sores, but that's it. It's not a big deal. You can find someone who will love you for you, because you deserve it, even with herpes.

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:05 PM   #3
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realityhits HB User
Re: need guidance

I dont know who you are, but am so grateful for the reply. I have had every emotion possible from guilt, to anger, loss, fear and above all, the sickening idea of it possibly affecting the people I love because of the fact that I dont know if I had it, or if my partner did. The thought of someone else having to feel the way I did when I found out makes me sick

I have been trying to educate myself and know that I must make room for this new part that exists in me. The most difficult right now is the shame, and not being able to discuss it. Thank you for acknowledging me as a human being.

 
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:39 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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addicted2you HB User
Re: need guidance

Thank you Mintlady for that positive post. I couldn't agree with you more. I have days where I don't feel too good about myself and feel like blaming the world but that's not the way I want to live. Educating yourself is definitely the way to go. The stigma that is attached to HSV is negative which makes me upset because it is very common and the thing is, most people don't even know they have it. At least WE know we do and we can take all the precautions to keep us as safe as possible. I don't know who I got it from but I am not going to put blame on anyone but myself. I've made the decisions I've made and now I am living with the consequence. What I do know is that I've told my partner about it (thinking he would just want to end things) but it turned out that he respected me more and said "the only thing I blame you for is making me fall in love with you." Our relationship has been stronger than ever. He was glad that I was honest with him and knows that this disease doesn't define who I am. He hasn't checked to see if he has it but said that he hasn't had any outbreaks and doesn't want our sex life to change. If someone loves you, they will look past what you have and love you for YOU!

 
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Old 05-14-2013, 08:20 AM   #5
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Gina999 HB User
Re: need guidance

Dear Realityhits....

I am 48 and just found out I have a 1.58 HSV 2 level. I am shocked...and only had the test because I have read so much about how people go everyday not knowing they have herpes. I understand how you feel...I have not slept for days and cried most of them.

I guess for me I am probably getting more worried by all I am reading online. So i made an appt with my OBGYN to get the tests confirmed.

I hope maybe the test reading was wrong...but at this point I am like you...where do I start??

 
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Old 05-14-2013, 08:26 AM   #6
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Join Date: May 2013
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Gina999 HB User
Re: need guidance

Dear Realityhits....

I am 48 and just found out I have a 1.58 HSV 2 level. I am shocked...and only had the test because I have read so much about how people go everyday not knowing they have herpes. I understand how you feel...I have not slept for days and cried most of them.

I guess for me I am probably getting more worried by all I am reading online. So i made an appt with my OBGYN to get the tests confirmed.

I hope maybe the test reading was wrong...but at this point I am like you...where do I start??

 
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:19 PM   #7
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Join Date: May 2013
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realityhits HB User
Re: need guidance

Dear Ladies:

I am somehow comforted to know that I do not stand alone. I think the first week or so where difficult for me. When leaving my OBGYNS, I was only told that if I had a breakout, to call and they would call me in a script. Of course, we come home petrified with the outcome and I got online and absorbed as much as I could. That was enough to scare anyone.

I think we are a very uneducated society in some areas, at least I was. Long story short, here I am. I am still very healthy, and grateful for everyday I wake. I certainly cant force blame, or change things....a bit late for that. So I decided to pick my sorry butt up and make the best of things.

I am hoping that I can come here for support from people just like me. Addicted to U said the one thing that hit me like a brick! This virus does not define who we are. I am the same person, just a bit wiser=) I love life, herpes and all

I am interested in some all natural remedy/immunity boosters/ect please share

 
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:56 AM   #8
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 9
Britestar HB User
Re: need guidance

I'm 46 and just found out a few weeks ago. I had the same response. Guilt, anger, fear,depression. Etc.... I would tell the person I got it from, but it would be pointless. He would blame me, deny he has it, and never get a blood test, so why waste my breath? I have been reading as much as possible and found ways to keep myself healthy. I exercise, pray, eat right, and stay away from stress. Stress is a trigger for an out break. I started with all natural supplements for a few weeks, but decided to go with valcyclovir. I've heard lysine, super b12 complex, and vitamin C were good for you. I still take multi vitamins minus the lysine. My goal is to make having a healthy self esteem and love for myself a priority. Whomever is meant to be in my life will love me unconditionally. That gives me peace.

 
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:45 PM   #9
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 6
Gina999 HB User
Re: need guidance

Quote:
Originally Posted by realityhits View Post
I am a 50 year old, attractive female. Until today, I would have considered myself intelligent. Married most of my life, divorced for 5 years. I had an on and off relationship with a man I loved dearly, but his lack of desire to commit had sent me home recently in a tailspin. I only had a yeast infection but it scared me half to death. Upon visiting my obgyn for my yearly, we had briefly discussed my concerns and she suggested that I have a full std screen. She reminded me that the chance of std at my age was actually very high. I had never had testing and strongly agreed that it was time.

Two days later my results came in. I tested positive for herpes 2. I have never had symptoms and was clueless that I in fact carried the virus. I did call my friend and tell him that I had results and informed as to the outcome..He didnt say very nice things and left me feeling guilty and definitely left me standing alone with an over abundance of shame There was no discussion...nothing.

A thousand things spin through my head, on top of a broken heart. I loved him very much and he walked. I may have gotten it from him, I will never know. If I knew that it was me....I would have never ever put him at risk without telling him... I just hurt

So where do you start?

 
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:53 PM   #10
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 6
Gina999 HB User
Re: need guidance

Hello....I understand. And like you was shocked and very upset. I went to a specialist who helped me get through it. She said....first of all half of the population would show the same positive results. She said the blood test is not an accurate test. She said, relax go home, and IF you have symptoms come back. Actually testing the sore is the only way to get a correct test. The truth is there are so many people walking around with the disease that do not know and will never know because they do not have symptoms. In other Europe, it is common. People in the US have given it a dirty name and the fact that it is now a pretty common thing, it is now a part of our culture. It is what it is...you will live! Continue to live your life...stop worrying..stop the shame....and if you notice any symptoms go to your doctor. Yes, your boyfriend may have given it to you and not known. Life goes on...and so will you!!

 
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