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Old 05-22-2013, 04:19 AM   #1
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Hulagrl568 HB User
Lonely with herpes

I found out I have hsv2 in January. I am in the process of divorce and believe I got it from my husband and his cheating. I have tried dating and met an incredible guy that I had a connection with and we had a lot in common. He was sweet and very into me telling me I was beautiful,taking me out on great dates to nice restaurants and talking about fun things we could do together this summer. Things were going great for a few weeks and then one night things started getting a little hot and heavy. I stopped him and had the talk with him. He said he knew nothing about it and was confused. A few days went by and the texting slowed down and the flirting stopped so I knew he was not going to accept it. He was essentially avoiding me so I asked him if we could talk. He finally called me and admitted that he thought I was amazing but he just "couldn't wrap his head around it ". He was polite and certainly not a jerk about it (we are in our 40s, btw) but he did not think he could deal with it. He said he felt horrible but was just being honest and wished me well and that was that. I am devastated. Not so much about him in particular since it was only a few weeks but I feel like I am in for a lifetime of rejection and loneliness because of this virus. I have been reading so much about it and how others found love but it is tough enough to be a woman in your 40s and single again and then add this to the mix...ugh! I am in counseling but so far it's not helping much for my self esteem. Really looking for others in my situation (male or female) to chat with , talk to for some insight and moral support .

 
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Old 05-22-2013, 05:15 AM   #2
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Re: Lonely with herpes

Hi, I have had hvs2 since 1987, back then it seemed that everybody had it. Anyway, in the beginning I had two small outbreaks but the virus has been in hibernation for 25 years now, have had many relationships and have not infected anyone. That is pretty much how it goes, just like hsv1 or cold sore you do not kiss anyone or have oral sex when the blister is there but after the blister goes away into hibernation, you just forget about it. If you have hsv2 blisters they will go away and when they go into hibernation you will not infect anyone. HVS2 has not changed my life one bit but lots of people freak out for no reason. The young man who left you really had no reason to leave you like that but you should be commended for telling him. It is very much possible he will encounter the virus in his life as 25% of all women have the virus. If you take the suppliment Lysine it helps to suppress the virus and diminish outbreaks. Do not let this diminish your self esteem because there are just too many people who have it.Now if you had HIV I could understand these feelings you have but in my book having herpes is really no big deal.

 
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:39 PM   #3
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Re: Lonely with herpes

I just found out I may have it. I'm waiting on my blood tests results. I was sad as well. I have the same fear as I am an AA female in my forties and I know there is a stigma in the AA community about this. I just have to pray, have faith, and maintain a positive attitude. I can't live in fear that I may not find lasting love. I desire that and hopefully it will happen. I feel your pain.

 
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