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Old 04-19-2010, 10:48 AM   #1
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Unhappy Where Do I go from here?

Ten days ago, my daughter was diognosed with HIV. Within 72 hours we brought her home to FL and got her set up in a place with me so that I can care for her. I have no experience with HIV, so I'm sort of lost and floudering, what I do know is that what ever comes I'll be here for her. What I need most now is information that I can understand.

Her husband, left her as soon as the test came back, and before she was gone from their apartment for 48 hours he had another woman staying there. So, With my oldest son in Iraq and my youngest with a new baby, most of this will be my responsibiliy and I want to do everything I can to keep her alive and healthy. All help will be appreciated.

Still In Shock,

 
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Old 04-20-2010, 03:30 AM   #2
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

I`m sorry to hear your daughters situation. A few weeks ago I was watching TV where they were doing HIV and AIDS testing in Africa they were doing married couples and the woman tested positive for HIV and the husband was negative. He didnt console her or anything and it was obvious he didnt want to be with her from that point on.

Part of that is watching out for yourself so you dont get infected, possibly stigma(depending on the country or culture), and often the person who picked it up was being unfaithful during the relationship or possibly using drugs. At the same time it`s very possible for one partner to have picked it up before they were married and by chance or by using condoms almost all if not all of the time their partner is HIV negative.

On another forum there was a case similar to that of your daughters the couple had been having unprotected sex for a year or two, they both got tested soon after they got married, she was positive him negative. I think he gave her the benefit of the doubt that she had gotten it before they were together. He stayed with her and they continued on I think often having unprotected sex, oddly enough he never tested positive he thinks he is one of the few who are immune or unable to get infected however you want to put it. I think he goes every 3 or 6 months still but after a few years is still negative.

You sound like you`re a supportive and caring mother that`s a good start. no one deserves this disease. I`m far from an expert, I am not HIV positive myself at this time (I did have an exposure so you never know I have to wait to get reliable test results), with that said I know a decent amount if you want to ask anything feel free I`m sure their are others more knowledgeable that will chime in too.

Last edited by hb-mod; 04-21-2010 at 03:50 AM. Reason: Removed Quote. Please use "QUICK reply" rather than "QUOTE reply". Thanks!

 
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Old 04-20-2010, 02:53 PM   #3
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

Hi there,

I would like to offer you some advice as a parent myself but first let me say how sorry I am for your news. The advice I would like to give you is quite simple. Treat your daughter as you always have done. I understand how concerning this must be for you but when all is said and done your daughter is still the same person she was ten days ago, nothing about her as changed. Yes, she is now confirmed as HIV positive but it is worth bearing in mind that HIV is treatable, it is not a death sentence. With the correct medication there is absolutly no reason whatsoever that your daughters health will drop off.

Please, try not to walk on eggs shells around her, please try not to treat her any differently from what you have done all her life. I do understand how upsetting this must be for you and it goes without saying for your daughter too, but please she is just the same person.

HIV does have a social stigma attached to it, mainly due to lack of knowledge and lack of understanding of what it is and how it is transmitted. There will be people who are simply unable to grasp that your loving daughter is absolutly no different from anybody else on this planet. She as a medical condition which is treatable. If she needs a cuddle, give her one, if she fancies a drink, have one with her, if you fancy a slap up meal have one, your daughter is still the same person. The is absolutly no reason at all to make massive changes to you life style or her's. HIV is not spread by simple contact, it is not spread by sharing cuttlery, nor sharing towels, nor simple contact, etc.

Take care of yourself and your daughter and please give yourself some breathing space. As parents it is only natural that we try to protect our children but please try not to wrap your daughter in cotton wool. Anybody who as the slightest understanding of HIV will stand by you and her, those that don't really don't deserve your friendship or love.

Take care, regards Kevin.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 04-20-2010 at 03:08 PM. Reason: typo

 
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:36 AM   #4
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

Thank You,
I have never treated my daughter with anything but love, even when we were butting heads. I do not fear contracting HIV from her. We cook meals together, wash clothes in the same machine, use the same bathroom. Of course we will take extra care of OUR health hers for obvious reasons, mine because I don't want my colds or flu or whatever to give her body an opportunity for a opportunistic infection to take hold.

Right now she doesn't want to be around anyone but family and close friends. My friends are treating her no different than the ever did. They love her and me, and understand that we would never do anything to endanger them.

the only difference in my life is that having moved to share a house with her, I now drive four hours once a week to spend a day with my friends I left behind. It give both of us a break from the 24/7 routine and some breathing room.

I have always told my children that there was nothing they could do that would make me stop loving them. That hasn't changed!!!! HIV or not, she is my precious little girl and I love her. Thanks again.

 
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Old 05-02-2010, 08:50 PM   #5
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

This is my first time on this forum. I found out early this morning that my brother was diagnosed with hiv two years ago. He still has not told me about it. I found out from another situation that had occurred. Supposedly he made threats to kill himself. I am not familiar HIV symptons but I am very scared that I am going to lose my brother. I love him soo much. I dont know how to approach him with knowing that he has HIV. I only want him to know that I love him and that having the disease will not change anything. I think that if he knew that he could confide in me it would ease his mental health and stress over his situation. However, the way that I found out would causea loss of trust between friends. I would love to talk to someone about HIV and the facts.

 
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:16 PM   #6
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

hollbg...

I think that you are amazing... let me tell you that I myself am HIV positive. I have been for the past year and a half now. I haven't told my family my situation yet, simply because I don't want to feel rejection, hate and discomfort when I surround myself with them. I'm not going to lie and tell you that being HIV doesn’t make you feel different and uneasy. But I would say that it is an up hill battle everyday for me. I have been lucky enough that I am on treatment and I have a great partner to share my struggles with. But your brother needs you. And your love for him and understanding of his situation will comfort him as it will if you were my sister. Just know that what I and your brother have isn't a death sentence and no our days are not numbered. Just be there for him because living with this is not easy and it does take a lot to want to continue. You can do something. If you know, you have the opportunity to help his situation and keep him on track. Having a support system is a must on surviving this virus. Please let him know that you love him regardless of the circumstances and regardless of the situation. Because I wish that I could find the courage to tell my sister but I know that I will never be able to until its too late. And when you do find it in yourself to let your brother know or when he finds it in himself to let you know. Please note the he is not alone he can survive and live a wonderful life. And even though I don’t know either of you….. I love you.

God bless...

 
Old 08-19-2010, 04:13 AM   #7
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

keep your head up...i got hiv in 1989...my t-cells have been as low as 14...i am probably livin on borrowed time now...there are drugs that will help people live longer...but remember drugs can cause problems after awhile...maybe thats why i have survived so long...i take the meds for a little bit..then i stop for a little bit...i think i am buyin time...maybe i am,who knows.....yes you do get depressed(thats normal,,since you know you gonna die,just dont know when)you are tired all the time..some days you dont even want to be bothered by anything-simple task of makin something to eat can be a burden...but i try to stay positive minded...thats the best way to cope...i think...

 
Old 09-15-2010, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

stillinshock:

What an amazing mommy you are! Bless you and your beautiful attitude! If only more people were as understanding and compassionate as you we might not only have a better population, we might see a bigger decline in the disease as well! As an ex-heroin addict who indeed shared needles with my best friend for years, I was constantly in fear of HIV, since he didn't seem to care WHO he shot up after, and since most of the time I was doing it with him we inevitably wound up sharing needles a great deal. It is an incredibly scary thing to live under the fear alone, and I can't IMAGINE what you and your daughter are going through, I just know that reading your post got me misty-eyed, wishing more people and more moms were like YOU. Your daughter is NO different from anyone else, and we all do things that sometimes have horrific consequences, but just know that you're doing EXACTLY what you need to do to be there for her in what is bound to be the scariest time in her entire life!

The good news is that with the proper treatment, one can live an almost normal life with HIV, and like the earlier poster said, it is no longer a death sentence! Talk to your doctor, find out ALL the info you can on the various treatments that are out there, and find out which cocktail best suits your daughter's lifestyle and finances. I think you're an amazing woman, doing an amazing job, and after reading your posts I just felt compelled to let you know that. HIV awareness and knowledge is the key to getting rid of this thing once and for all! Become active in awareness groups in your community with your daughter, and nationally where possible! In addition to giving you guys something to bond over, you'll be helping educate others about this!

It is such a refreshing pleasure to know there are still people like you in the world. I'll pray for your daughter's and your continued health and prosperity, and if you need ANYTHING, even just someone to talk to, the people of this board and myself are ALWAYS available to listen and help in any way we can!

Sincerely,
Kyle

 
Old 11-23-2010, 12:24 PM   #9
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

your a fantastic mother.

 
Old 12-21-2010, 07:07 PM   #10
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

this is very emotional and very fragile situation as a mom. regarding with the HIV condition it is really shocking if we found out that our love one is infected.
though we tend to be panic and cannot accept the fact right away but still we have to face the reality cause it's really happening and it's there already. all we can do is stay beside them, cause they really need our support and this is were they get there strength. by showing them that we care and love them despite of there condition.

 
Old 01-10-2011, 10:45 PM   #11
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

Hi, I've been living with HIV for 25 years. The first 20 were w/out the meds, however I am using them now. I refused to believe it has to be fatal from the beginning, and I've used all kinds of alternative modalities to keep the virus at bay, and keep my immune system strong. Acupuncture and Chinese medicine has been the most beneficial health giving modality, as it's based on thousands of years of acquired knowledge, so it's where I turned to.
Of course I'm fortunate to live near an acupuncture school.
If the blood work reads in the normal range, I would put off the meds and try a health supporting protocol.
Diet is very important. Eating organic whole foods, lots of cruciferous vegetables. Nutrition galore. Minimize sugar intake, as it feeds viruses. I feel soda is the worst, as it has way too much in it. Even too much sweet fruit could be minimized. Vitamins and supplements and laughter, rest.
Also, it's important to have a network of people to share with. You may have an AIDS or HIV project in your area,esp. if you're in a big city, or there's chatting on line, of course.
A good doctor is essential, find one who has experience and is open to Wholistic medicine. (wm also helps the side effects of meds, rather than taking more.)
Staying busy, but not stressed... art projects, higher learning, dance. Stay onto the next thing, and you will stay in flow with life.
She is blessed to have your care. Make sure you get some too.
Best of luck.

 
Old 01-29-2011, 09:53 AM   #12
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

HIV poz here. I want to hug you and share that today hiv is treatable on incredible levels. As long as he gets dr. assistance and treatment hiv is very managable. Not to make light of this at all because trust me stress is a major factor but life can remain healthy and normal. What is normal anyway we all have something we have to deal with. I would think of hiv more like diabetes i guess. you have to take care of your health the dr will help take care of the rest. sorry if this doesnt help at all its just my thoughts.

 
Old 03-05-2011, 05:54 PM   #13
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

There is a very powerful antioxidant that has been known in the scientific community since the 1800s, yet is still relatively unknown to most of the general public. Glutathione has remained unknown because no one has found a way to easily and inexpensively create a product that will deliver the building blocks to increase glutathione production -- until now.

There are many HIV patients that are being treated with this to make their lives a little more comfortable. As you know supplements cannot by law say they can treat or cure any disease but they can help support our system in defending itself.

Only 10% of the population knows about this, but impacting the health industry in a possitive way. This Dr. Keller has discovered a way to have precursor's instead of actual glutathione to help your body make it's own which is having a tremendous effect on them. Their is one athlete with HIV who uses IV glutathione, but can be expensive. Now available less expensive way to where it penetrates the membrane of the cell and supports where it all starts.

There are articles at http://www.pubmed.gov which is the U.S National Library of Medicine where doctors go. You will find over 90,000 articles there in research on this.

 
Old 10-13-2011, 10:18 AM   #14
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

You are an awesome mom, and she needs that.. I am dealing with a family member who has AIDS. I encourage you to keep loving her. allow her to enjoy her life. She has many years left..I will be praying for you, asking the same..Stay encouraged this is only a bump in the road..

 
Old 10-14-2011, 10:09 AM   #15
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Re: Where Do I go from here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mchavers1 View Post
There is a very powerful antioxidant that has been known in the scientific community since the 1800s, yet is still relatively unknown to most of the general public. Glutathione has remained unknown because no one has found a way to easily and inexpensively create a product that will deliver the building blocks to increase glutathione production -- until now.

There are many HIV patients that are being treated with this to make their lives a little more comfortable. As you know supplements cannot by law say they can treat or cure any disease but they can help support our system in defending itself.

Only 10% of the population knows about this, but impacting the health industry in a possitive way. This Dr. Keller has discovered a way to have precursor's instead of actual glutathione to help your body make it's own which is having a tremendous effect on them. Their is one athlete with HIV who uses IV glutathione, but can be expensive. Now available less expensive way to where it penetrates the membrane of the cell and supports where it all starts.

There are articles at http://www.pubmed.gov which is the U.S National Library of Medicine where doctors go. You will find over 90,000 articles there in research on this.
I want to know where i can get this medicine and how much it costs? I am from India i need this medicine for my Dad

Waiting for your reply thanks

 
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