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Old 07-29-2010, 05:46 PM   #1
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Was told not to tell anyone

I tested positive aug 2007 whilst I was pregnant my sec baby, told my boyfriend abt the results. He consoled me, we cried together & luckily we could save our baby because I was immediately put on treatment but there was something I was'nt happy about, he didnt wanted me to tell anyone, its been 3yrs now. I wanna take it off my shoulder, funny enough he does'nt want even to talk abt it. I think his still in denial, because he gets mad at me, swears & even shouts when I mention anything about it, he says there's nothing to talk about. Its killing me inside, ive lost weight rapidly over the past months. What do I do, its hurting me. I cry myself to sleep at night.

Last edited by Administrator; 11-23-2010 at 01:06 PM.

 
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Old 08-04-2010, 02:49 PM   #2
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Hi,

I'm deeply sorry to hear your boyfriend has been treating you that way. HIV is too much to deal with on your own.

One person you can definitely talk to is your doctor. Maybe he or she could also refer you to a counselor or psychologist to discuss your experience with HIV and your relationship. Have you done research to see if there are also support groups for people living with HIV in your area?

 
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Old 08-05-2010, 03:28 AM   #3
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Hi
I just wanted to be clear on something as I couldnt pick it up from your post.
Was your boyfriend also tested? Did you contract HIV before you were with him?

 
Old 08-05-2010, 06:59 AM   #4
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Im sorry your you're infected with HIV and your bf isn't more open in talking about it. Some people dont like to talk about things that they percieve as negative they prefer to just keep things to themselves.

Last edited by Administrator; 11-23-2010 at 01:01 PM.

 
Old 08-11-2010, 03:55 AM   #5
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Hello

It feels much better to hear from people like you, trying to ease the unbearable weight. As I said this is my first time to talk and share this, so I have'nt thought abt consulting a doctor nor any counsellours around. Will try and hook with some other people. Thanks for your support, it means so much.

 
Old 08-11-2010, 03:59 AM   #6
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

I dont know exactly when I contracted it bt since we're together and me falling pregnant we only knew then. Thus he never went for testing, only recently when we had to go for a cd4 count for a life cover policy we were applying for & my results came back with a 375 and his 785. He just says we cant talk of a natural disaster.

 
Old 08-11-2010, 04:06 AM   #7
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Thank you once again for listening and for your support, the weight feels so much lighter already. Carry on unto others as well. May God bless you..

 
Old 08-11-2010, 09:44 AM   #8
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by xolelwad View Post
Thank you once again for listening and for your support, the weight feels so much lighter already. Carry on unto others as well. May God bless you..
if you have hiv and haven't told anyone
can i offer you one piece of advice?

please get your self under a doctors care as soon as you can.
so you can be around a long time for your kid.
good luck

 
Old 08-11-2010, 07:38 PM   #9
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

oh baby. i dont think that this is something to be dealt with alone. you are already showing signs of wasting, and this can be due to stress. please join a support group. you need to be around people who are dealing with the same issues. its to bad hes ashamed. he is probably the cause. do something for you. please. dont let him decide your fait any longer.

Last edited by Administrator; 11-23-2010 at 12:59 PM.

 
Old 01-02-2011, 11:56 AM   #10
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Your post really touched me because I am in a methadone treatment program and while I do not have it there are so many fun and interesting people that I have met in my program that do. Sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place. My first question if u dont mind is who specifically are you wanting to tell that he is against anyone specific or just anyone in general. I honestly think for your own sanity and emotional stability you need a support network that you can reach out to, so you need some people to know. I am always there for my friends ill or not and I think it is selfish for him to deny you the aliance you need to fight through this. I get the idea of boundaries..maybe noone close to his work or daily acquaintances but you need to be able to reach out hopefully I have overshot and you do have this in your life anyhow reach out and hang in there

 
Old 01-17-2011, 07:44 PM   #11
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by xolelwad View Post
I tested positive aug 2007 whilst I was pregnant my sec baby, told my boyfriend abt the results. He consoled me, we cried together & luckily we could save our baby because I was immediately put on treatment but there was something I was'nt happy about, he didnt wanted me to tell anyone, its been 3yrs now. I wanna take it off my shoulder, funny enough he does'nt want even to talk abt it. I think his still in denial, because he gets mad at me, swears & even shouts when I mention anything about it, he says there's nothing to talk about. Its killing me inside, ive lost weight rapidly over the past months. What do I do, its hurting me. I cry myself to sleep at night.
It's because he is embarrassed by it, it's taboo to him and his life and his family, And the idiots of the world still see it as a "gay" disease or a drug addict with dirty needles gets it, it makes no difference if heterosexuals have quickly passed who has it, Or it can come about different ways.. He is still ignorant and embarrassed by it that he has a gf and now a child (and him?? u never said if he had it) a disease that the ignorant people of the world only see as a gay persons or a drug addicts disease. It doesn't matter who you are, it still does the same thing to the body and if you need to talk about it and he won't be a part of it you find someone else who will talk about it, you don't have to feel or live isolated because he's acting like an idiot. This is about health.. Some people like to ignore cancer and you can't do that either.. ignoring it WON'T make it go away.. HIV is a terrible disease to have.. U have to stay on meds the rest of your life, there is no cure. You can live a happy and fulfilling life anyways.. you can't let it drag you down and you don't have to go it alone.. maybe he will come around maybe he wont. Put yourself in his shoes maybe you'll understand his actions, maybe ignorance or ignoring it, is bliss.. maybe he is trying to deal wit it, can't, and is trying to be the strong one.. what ever his problem with it is, he is dealing with it incorrectly. You can seek out a support group.. become more involved with advocates. But as for not telling anyone, you did by posting on this board.. Ask your doctor for help, he or she should be able to point you in the proper direction, seek the help of a psychologist if necessarily, by the way if he balks at that, he definitely has issues.. good luck.

 
Old 05-22-2011, 09:16 PM   #12
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Re: Was told not to tell anyone

....if you are depressed that would have an effect on your health..you should find someone to talk too,it would help you...since i was 17(1989) i've had hiv...(aids-1996-below 200-for about 15 years now)i'll be 40 in sept....i try to be optimistic most of the time...i have a couple close friends i talk to,i told someone before that i knew for awhile,then when they got mad at me they told people..so,you still have to be careful who you tell,or talk too about it..you can talk to your dr. Also....

 
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