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Old 05-06-2004, 06:22 AM   #1
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LivefortheDay HB User
Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Hi, I hope someone here can offer some advice!

I recently got drunk on a night out (last Friday), and ended up (almost) comatose on the bed of a bisexual girl, who is the friend of a friend. She did all the work, in fact I tried to push her away but unfortunately in my drunken state I did not have the energy.

My penis was inside her for perhaps 2 minutes, though I did not ejaculate, as I was not capable. Afterwards, I went to the toilet and took an extremely long leak (I had had a lot to drink!), and I was home within the hour, washed my penis thoroughly and mastubated twice (which probably sounds strange, but I guess I was pretty sickened with myself and wanted to clean myself as thoroughly as I could.)

I have been very, very worried about the episode, so I contacted her through our mutual friend. She tells me she had an HIV test 6 years ago which was negative. After her negative test she had 2 long term boyfriends, prior to being lesbian for the last 3 years. So, for 3 years, she has not had sex with a guy, until me.

I woke up the following day racked with guilt and feeling extremely tired in a strange way I have not experienced before. The girl has since apologised to me for basically forcing me into sex, but I feel tremendous guilt and have cried a lot for being unfaithful to my girlfriend of 6 years, whom I love deeply.

My other very real symptoms over the past 5 days include a high level of physical exhaustion, shakiness, loss of appetite (though I am forcing myself to eat) a sore throat, headaches, burning sensation in head and spine, an aching neck and back, over-sensitive skin and today, diarrhoeah. I am beside myself with worry as my symptoms seem to concur with AVS, but it does seem too early to develop AVS in light of what I have read.

I have asked the girl involved to have an HIV test, but she tells me I am over-reacting. Also our mutual friend tells me I am being totally over the top. I have to wait three months before I can have sex with my girlfriend, as I cannot risk giving her something too (I would obviously never forgive myself if that happened). So, it looks like I will have to tell my girlfriend, which might well end up with her leaving me, which I guess I probably deserve.

I am in such a horrific situation, I am sure some of you have had similar experiences - I hope someone out there has some advice for me.

Last edited by LivefortheDay; 05-06-2004 at 06:37 AM.

 
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Old 05-06-2004, 06:41 AM   #2
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Longwaysouth HB User
Smile Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Every guys dream come true. A bisexual girl willing to play. If only another girl had been there as well. No wonder you went home and masturbated! Sorry I couldn't resist.

1) Just because she is bisexual will have no bearing on anything.

2) If she is HIV+ (VERY UNLIKELY) the chances are approx 1% that you could have contracted it.

3) The symptoms are a CLASSIC case of anxiety and stress combined with guilt and fear. Believe me, I do know!

4) Personally I would not be worried at all but get a test done at 3 months to be sure and when it comes back negative, move on.

Everyone makes mistakes. I had to have counselling to deal with my guilt. This may be an option for you if you feel you need it later. Guilt can quickly turn to fear and before long you have a recipe for anxiety and depression.

You will be fine! Keep in touch.

Longwaysouth

 
Old 05-06-2004, 06:49 AM   #3
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Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Thanks so much for your reply. I am going insane here, am very sad

One question though - if she has been a lesbian for the past three years, I thought that might improve my chances...

Thanks very much again for your reply. I will certainly let everyone here know the outcome of my 3-month test.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 06:57 AM   #4
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Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

I would say you are probably right. If she hasn't been with a guy for 3 years her chances of having been infected are essentially nil. (contracting HIV through girl-girl sex is nearly non-existent. In fact I am not even sure whether there has even been one documented case).

You are fine. You are racked with guilt and it is hard (seemingly impossible) to get it out of your mind. But you will. If you want to level with your girlfriend, then that is up to you. I didn't but sometimes I wish I did. Maybe someday I will.

Keep in touch

Longwaysouth

 
Old 05-06-2004, 07:02 AM   #5
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Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Again, your reply is sincerely appreciated. I really don't want to have to tell my girlfriend, but if there is any risk, no matter how small, I think I should. I would rather our relationship ended in such a way than risk her health as well as mine. It's a big shame, if only there were tests that could be taken before 3 months that had any degree of accuracy.

 
Old 05-13-2004, 01:23 PM   #6
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rayne25 HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

I have a question though, what are the chances of contracting HIV from a man to a woman, they have to be higher don't they?

 
Old 05-14-2004, 02:06 AM   #7
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Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Yeah, a woman is more easier to get it compared to a man. The reason is because the woman's vaginal mucous lining is larger. Now, if you talking about anal sex, that is extreme high and risky. Those 3 female porno stars who got infected by Darren James---all had double anal penetration and 'anal cream pies." He so far infected 3 of the 12 women he performed with.

My advice is to never engage in unprotected anal with a guy you don't know too well.

The CDC says that over 80,000+ women have HIV through heterosexual intercourse, while 50,000+ men have it through heterosexual sex. This is out of a total of 900,000 people who have HIV in America.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 08:38 AM   #8
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anna-bananna HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

hEY LONG WAY SOUTH, Why do you say that the chance of contracting it is only 1%, just curious.

And Zoron I was reading the herpes board and I think I read that you said that you have to waith another 5 months, just asking, but did'nt you already take a 3 month test and it was negative? Where does the additionad 5 months come in to play? That would be a total of 8 months. Although I could have all of this wrong so....

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:22 PM   #9
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zoron HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Anna,

I don't want to take chances. You remember about one case where a guy took 10 months to seroconvert? I want to be truly 100% on the safe side.

 
Old 05-19-2004, 12:38 AM   #10
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Longwaysouth HB User
Cool Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Anna-Bannana,
Sorry, been away. I would like to refer you to some web sites but unfortunately I am not able to due to forum rules. The risks have been determined by a number of studies ( in the US and overseas) and the scientists have come up with percentage figures estimating the risks per exposure. For example, the risk of contracting HIV from a single act of receptive vaginal or anal intercourse (with a person who actually does have HIV) is about .1% to .3%. These figures become even less when you talk about oral sex and other lower risk activities. This does not mean you can't get HIV from one act, only an estimate of the potential risk per act. Someone may have 100 encounters with a HIV positive individual and not get HIV whilst another may have one and get it, so percentages should be taken for what they are. I can't go much further than that in a forum, however if you can get permission from this forum, I can direct you you to the very reliable sources of this information.

Longwaysouth (sorry for the late reply)

 
Old 05-19-2004, 07:15 PM   #11
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zoron HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Longwaysouth,

I heard that if it is receptive anal, the percentage would be something more like 5%. Remember those 3 women out of the 12 women who got HIV infected last month by one porn actor? That's like 1/4 women he had sex with were infected. This disease is not as hard to transmit as we assume, esp. if you are female and on the receptive end (esp. anal). It's important to test regularly if are sexually active.

 
Old 05-19-2004, 07:24 PM   #12
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Longwaysouth HB User
Cool Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Zoron,
No. You are using the number of people involved in these incidents, not the actual number of sexual exposures that took place. Statistics are based on the number of sexual exposures (episodes), not the number of people. Being a porn film, I am assuming the number of potential sexual episodes would have been quite large. There are also other factors that come into play such as this persons viral load, the immune system of the people who were infected etc.
Statistics are exactly that. They are not designed to tell you whether you were infected from an incident or not, but only to give you an idea of the potential risk.
Receptive anal and vaginal sex with a person who is known to be HIV infected carries a risk somewhere in the order of 1 in 250 episodes of sex(not people). 1 divided by 250 equals .4%. There are numerous scientific studies that have been done to arrive at this conclusion.

Longwaysouth

 
Old 05-20-2004, 04:25 AM   #13
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kawondergem HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Quote:
Originally Posted by LivefortheDay
Again, your reply is sincerely appreciated. I really don't want to have to tell my girlfriend, but if there is any risk, no matter how small, I think I should. I would rather our relationship ended in such a way than risk her health as well as mine. It's a big shame, if only there were tests that could be taken before 3 months that had any degree of accuracy.
LivefortheDate: I think you are a genuine person and your concern for your girlfriend's health is redeeming. I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years and if this happened to him, I would hope and pray he would come to me and talk about it. After all this time together, and with the way your "mistake" situation went (not completely under your control), I would think she would be glad you told her and forgiving of your lapse of judgement. It may take her a while to forgive you, but I think she will. Just make sure you tell her the whole truth and remind her how much you love her and how much you hate hurting her. I hope she is understanding. Good luck.

 
Old 05-20-2004, 02:22 PM   #14
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anna-bananna HB User
Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

SO who do I ask for permission to get further info. LWS???

 
Old 05-20-2004, 04:02 PM   #15
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Longwaysouth HB User
Cool Re: Infection Chances: Heterosexual sex with a lesbian

Originally Posted by anna-bananna
SO who do I ask for permission to get further info. LWS???

anna-bananna
For me to provide links to other websites within this forum, permission needs to be obtained from this forum itself (maybe a moderator). Give me a little time and I will try and put together these sources of information and run it by a moderator at this forum for permission. Let's see.

Longwaysouth

 
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