Oral Herpes and Hiv -please answer- - HIV Prevention Message Board

LAYLA26 · 11-29-2004, 08:53 AM

Hi everyone, i m new in this board. Like most of you i suffer from a lot of anxiety regarding hiv. I m married for many years and this summer i did the most stupid thing in my life. I cheated on my husband several times with someone (unprotected). I didn't have any symptoms like those you describe (ARS), but i had a cold sore on my upper lip 5 days after we slept together. I have herpes 1 since i was a child. But i didn't have outbreaks for 3 years or more. After that i really got scared. Now 4 months later i had one more outbreak in the same spot and two more in my mouth (i used to have in my mouth as well). All the outbreaks healed very quickly. I think everything is a bad dream. I have to fight with my guilt for what i did to the man i love so much and the unbelievable fear i have thinking i have hiv. I m so sure that i have it. I dont have sex with my husband and the worst of all is that i cant talk to him about my fears. He is my best friend and i m in a lot of pain. Every morning i wake up and search my face for new outbreaks. I also looked my vagina in a mirror and i saw a lillte bump. It wasnt like herpes, it was painless, non itchy or burn, (blisters) more like a pimple. I had it for several weeks and then went away. I m having panick attacks, and the suffering wont stop. I suffer from anxiety disorders from time to time. and ever in a very anxiety periods i didn't have herpes and i now i do so often. I know i should get tested but i cant find the courage to do so.
Is Herpes a sign of early infection? Please answer me. Thank you so much.

nyxin · 11-29-2004, 11:21 AM

i am very sorry that you are going through this-- but i honestly think that you answered your own question. becuse you feel so guilty over your affair, you somehow feel like you "deserve" HIV, or it would be poetic justice rather. this is simply not the case. stress will bring on a herpes outbreak (1 or 2) very quickly. plus it is in no way shape or form related to HIV. stress is one of the the most detremental things that can happen to your body, yet no one takes it seriously.

this is a medical board so i am not going to comment to much on your actions. i do not blame you, and no one here should judge you. we all have made mistakes, after all we are human. there must have been a reason that you felt like you needed to look outside your marriage and it sounds as though you have found what it is you are or are not looking for. the only advice i can give you is that the truth will set you free. i would try the relationship board, lots of great people there.

as far as your risk to HIV, the only thing you can do at this point is get tested at the 90 mark and go from there. you can not diagnose anything you may experience to that point as HIV related. there really is no clear cut check points as far as symptoms go. millions of people get cold sores, you said you have had them since you were a child, you know it has nothing to do with your encounter. the major change here is the stress level. get tested to make yourself feel better, but the odds are highly in your favor to be negative, then you can focus on your day to day with your hubby.

goingnuts72 · 12-16-2004, 11:47 AM

God still loves you, he knew when we were concieved we would make mistakes. However, our human brothers are not so inteligent, get your tests after you get all the results including herpes 2. Feel free to talk to your husband about what you need in your relationship. If he can not change and you are doomed to being unhappy then consider researching relationships and deciding if this is what you want. It may be safer for both of you if you decide to move on and stay in a different mongomous relationship. I hope you are still on the board and I hope this helps.