Worried and Confused- PLEASE help with some response
Hello. I am a 26-year-old girl who is worried I have HIV. For about a years length of time (in between boyfriend's ) i had sex with a good number of people- some i used condoms with and the ones i didn't, pulled out... there is no one incident that i can think of where i was specifically concerned and I even still talk to a lot of these guys and they seem fine now. For the past year, though, I have had a steady boyfriend. About a year ago( right before I started going out with my bf), I got tested for HIV and it was negetive. It was only one test and it was at my Gyn. but I assume it was probably correct? Anyway, about a month after getting tested, I started getting all these weird symptoms that have lasted for the past year and ALL seem indicative of HIV. Fist, I got shingles. It wasn't bad or anything- there were only 3 small patches on my breast and it went rigth away with medicine. But that freaked me out because how any people my age get shingles?? My doctor said it was normal but everywhere I read said it is mostly for old people and people with suppressed immune systems. Anyway, another symptom I have that started around the same time is chronic yeast infections. I used to never get them and all of a sudden i got them every few months. I probably had like 5 within the past year. They, too, would go away with med and my gyn said it was normal, but between thsoe two symptoms I was going crazy. Another potential symptom I got was a bad pap smear..I had to take a colp and had mild atypical cells. I did nothing about it and it ended up reversing. Then, I have this white coating in the middle and back (more in back) of my tongue and my mouth is so dry. I know that thrush and hairy leukoplakia are symtoms of HIV. I also know that it is possible that my coating can be dry mouth, but how would i know?? The last symptom is just recently I had BV. I constantly ask my gyn. and physician if they think I have HIV and they both say "no" but how could they by just looking at me?
I know I should just go for the test but I am so scared. I want to ad that I have OCD and very bad depression and anxiety and have been more stressed than ever over the past year. I also had been on an anti-depressant for 4 years and just stopped 5 months ago (i know dry mouth is a symptom of anti-depressants but i still have it and i am off now) I also just started birth control in January (right before bv and one yeast infection)...Can stress cause any of the these symptoms? Is it too coincidental to get them all? I mean if i just had one i could rationalize it but I had 4,5 symptoms within a year. I read a lot of postings about peopel that fear they have HIV but no one has ever listed my exact symptoms. The ONLY thing that makes me feel a little secure that maybe it isn't HIV is that I got tested LAST year and it was negetive and then these symptoms came about a month after (a yeast infection was the first). That would mean that if the test was accurtate the longest i could have had HIV for before developing symptoms would be 4 months, right? (because i know it could take 3 months to show up, plus another month) Aren't these the type of symptoms that appear after a few years? Wouldn't I have had the latent stage first?? I am confused with when which stage comes. I never got any flu-like symptoms or anyting that some people get (fever, sore throat, swolllen glands) I know you don't necessarily get it though.
I would appreciate all the help anyone could give me. If you are going to just write "get tested" , though, please don't bother writng anything. I hate when people write that as an answer when people are worried. I , obviously know I have to get tested. but the reason I am writing this post is just to see if I can obtain any type of reassurance beforehand.
I know you are stressed about symptoms as I am. I am not going to tell you to get tested because you know you have to someday. I know it is hard to accept that your symptoms could be caused by something else (i.e, stress). I have a hard time accepting my negative testing because I have symptoms that don't go away. The stress of being tested can be overwhelming and so can the stress of not knowing. It is much better to know than to not know.
I think the stress of not knowing is worse because it will always be there. I am not sure if that helps and I am wishing you the best.
I haven't posted much lately ...... But mostly read the threads but want/need to answer this one ......................
Hairy tounge leukoplachia , chronic yeast infection , chronic yeast infections , herpies outbreaks , thrush , ect.....................
That comes from years of untreated ( PRIMARY HIV -INFECTION)
And much of what people read on the internet is not the ( ACCUTE RETROVIRAL-SYMTOMS) or ( ARS ) but long term ( HIV-PROBLEMS ) and (ARS ) can be anything from a mild headache to menangitise and just about everthing in between .
The avarage person has between 1,500 - 1,100 t cells per dcl of blood drawn .
When they drop to to a number of about 600 that's when they reach the danger level where the ( CHRONIC SECONDARY INFECTIONS ) caused by hiv begin to occur .
Many people heve no clue whatsoever that they are infected until one day they develope pneumonia or some other secondary infection or rare disease cause by a immune system that has been severly broken down by the long term effects of ( PRIMARY HIN INFECTION) to the point of almost having full blown (AIDS)
A (T-CELL COUNT ) of 200 or below requires the diagnosis of full blown aids.
Yeast is a natural occurance in our bodies and is also part of our ( PH-BALANCE ) and an overgrowth of yeast can occure sometimes when our bodies balance is thrown off .
Please ( and I can't stress to you enough )
Stay away from the internet when it comes to symtoms .
You're mind will either creat or relate to what you read and then everything will become a symtom . (AND THAT'S NOT GOOD )
THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW FOR ABSOLUTE SURE IS TO GET AN HIV TEST ..................
Hiv is only a death sentence if it goes untreated and unknown ............
You're not alone and as you read many many people are either going through or have been where you are right now and we are all here to help the posative and the negative alike .
Please keep posting .....................
My prayers , hope , and love are with you .......
In good health .................
.............. Lost Spirit ..............
PS....... Steven I haven't seen anything from you in a while . I hope all is well with you and if you would like to post a thread in the alternative healing forum I would be happy to healp you ............
I hope you're felling better steven ........
Be well , happy , and safe ..........
......... Lost spirit .............
bwaygrl, Hi, Your symptoms are nonpathognomonic for HIV, it could be a variety of many many other things. The more you think about your"possible" problem the more symptoms you think you will have. I strongly recommend, you relax a bit and get your mind on some positive thinking. Of course some prophylaxis will never be harmfull.
AS lostspirit said, it's probably way too early for you to be experiencing late HIV/AIDS symptoms. The pap could be caused by the BV, I had a bad pap for 2 years that cleared itself. Yeast infections are very common, and shingles, although not as common as yeast infections, can occur in basically anyone. If you read these posts, you'll read similar cases (you might have to go back some) of people w/rare disorders/diseases that are "only found" in hiv+ patients, but end up turning out neg. Dont you think if it was HIV, your Dr. would be a bit more concerned? If you've been tested 4 mos after your last exposure, then you can count on that result. If not, it's time to get tested. We're all here for you! It can be really tough, but I promise you'll make it through!
There are two ways to shine, be the candle, or be the mirror that reflects it
thanks so much for answering me,everyone, i really appreciate it.. i do want to get tested but i have such bad anxiety and ocd that my mind wont let me now...i keep going over everything in my head.. i know that you're not supposed to read the internet, etc..but i guess the reason i feel like i may be accurate is ebcause i don't just read info sites, i read countless message bords (like this one) of actual people writing their symptoms and doctor's answering questions, etc...
lost spirit- isn't ars the initial flu-like virus people get form a few days to fews after they have been infected? if so, i never got that... but the symptoms i got i thought fell into the next catagory (early HIV symptoms)...they started only a few months after i could have been exposed but it does say people develop them anywhere form a few months to 10 years...also, what do you mean by "The avarage person has between 1,500 - 1,100 t cells per dcl of blood drawn .When they drop to to a number of about 600 that's when they reach the danger level where the ( CHRONIC SECONDARY INFECTIONS ) caused by hiv begin to occur ." ?
i forgot to ad that i also feel like i have 2 swollen lymph nodes, although one i told my doctor to feel and he said it isn't that..and i also get sweaty at night..not drenching night sweats but, i started less han year ago to wake up with my shirt a little cold and my neck and the area around my breasts are a little wet and sweaty and EVERYWHERE i read said night sweats mean something is wrong...but are THEY nigthsweats? or do they have to be worse than that? the most i have to change is my shirt usually and i am not dripping..but its something i never got before...does this mean i had a fever? they aren't every night but they were like once a week for while and now every once ina while..is that how it woudl be if had HIV? i guess i just feel like all of this is a little coincidental to happen the year after i slept with probably more people than i ever have.
anyway, sorry i analyze everything ... i cant help it.. i hope i do just go take the test really soon.
Honestly reading message boards and analizing and trying to connects the dots are worse than the infection itself .
What I meant is that a persons ( T-CELL) count would have to be very very low to be experiencing the major problems of the main or (PRIMARY HIV INFECTION)
And the point I'm trying to make is ( AND I KNOW ALL WHO READ HAVE HEARD THIS BEFOR ) you realy need to test .
Self diagnosing is the worst thing you can do to you're self and all those other message boards wil scare the absolute hell out of you .
Testing is the only and best way to know for absolute certain whether or not you have in fact been infected with the hiv virus .
And I hope CHRIS reads this post as well .
Because he always has a very special insite as well .
Please don't give up and please get tested
Because hiv is very treatable and is only a death sentense if left untreated .
So don't make you're self run a mental maze when you have answers in a few weeks instead of worrying over and over .
Please post back
........... Lost Spirit ..................
Hi, I would just like to say that i know exactly what you are going through. I have an appointment soon to see a counsellor about OCD and HIV is one of my main worries. See my HIV or OCD post. I have worried for years about this and i know getting tested will relieve all my worries but i havent got the courage. We should not read the internet for answers but its too tempting. I can convince myself i have all the smptoms too and i even ask my boyfriend questions about his health to see if he has any. I hope you can pluck up the courage to get tested but i cant at the moment. I'm hoping seeing a counselloe will relieve all my fears. But just to let you know i do understand.
joa- yes i have really bad ocd.. iw as on luvox for 4 years and it helped a little but made me gain weight so i stopped it(b/c i was obsessing about THAT)..ever since i went off of it (3 months ago) i have had ocd come back and now even worse depression and anxiety.. hiv isn;t my only worry... i am so stressed right now that i cnat even hold ajob.. i feel like such a loser...and exactly like you i am too afraid to take the test...i dont even know if i could bare to read the paper with my results when they give it back to me...not knowing is obviously worse than not having it and feeling better..but to me KNOWING i have it is worse than no knowing...and right now i DO feel like i ahve it so that is why i haven't taken it....
lost spirit- thanks again..by the way, i'm just wondering because i see you on these boards a lot..do you have HIV? or are you afriad you have it? or just interested in the topic?
I was infected 15 years ago with syphalis , hiv and also hepatitas-C .
Through a fight where my upstairs neighbor was being attacked by her son .
I had received cuts and even got blood in my eyes .
After the diagnosis I was absolutely terrfied and after a few months I developed a cold and was absolutely torn apart every fear I could ever have was right there in front of me I thought I was dying ,I was finished , it was over for me , BUT in realty my body fought it off like any other cold or flu and I didn't die and I'm here now to help you and any other scared , alone , and absolutely terrified person that they are not alone and there is help and treatment out there for them .
I know you're ( OCD ) and that's why it is even more important to stay away from the internet because the last thing you want to do is strenghthen the ( MIND LOCK ) you're already having .
If ever you're feeling down and alone just post and the many caring people here and all over the world will pray and support you .
Please get tested we've all been where exactly where you are right now .
God loves you and so do I
Be well Be happy and most of all Keep smiling
............. Lost Spirit ....................
sorry i havent been on here in so long... i am very sorry to hear that you got infected by your neighbor, lost spirit.... that is horrible... you seem very strong for having HIV for 14 years..is it still just HIV? anyway, i appreciate all the help you have given me.
Hi there! I have to tell you that last month I went through pretty much the same thing. I had a bladder infection and went on antibiotics. After taking the antibiotics I developed oral thrush. Out of curiosity I looked up oral thrush on the internet and saw people with HIV. I thought in my head " how awful that would be, glad that's not me". Then I thought " what if that were me?" Then it was " oh my god, that could be me!" So then I looked on the internet at symptoms of HIV. I began looking for those symptoms in me. I made myself sick. I made myself believe I was infected. After weeks of makeing myself crazy. Too scared to get tested. I wanted this fear to pass. I decided one day, enough is enough! I'm going to get an answer. If it's negetive, I can move on. If it's positive I can know what to expect now. It has to be one of the scarriest tests out there but you have to have your question answered. The fear does not just go away. It was negetive. I'll be willing to bet that you're fine. You're body is reacting to this fear in you mind. The internet is an awful way to diagnose yourself. Hang in there and keep me posted!
.Now I've diagnosed myself with cervical cancer through the internet! I know that more then likely I'm doing the same thing so I'm not going to scare myself again. Next week I have a pap.
Amberay the internet is a great place for entertainment and amusement ( and that's IT ) looking information on healt problems will not only cause you to go totaly insane but also cause you to live in fear of just about anything that's out there .
Normal everyday things can lead the parranoid mind to believe you're always dying of something .
Being a hypocondriac can be and is a big problem .
Now I can see if you already had problems or were diagnosed with something and looking up ( say for example ) side affects to certain medications or treatment options in general but as far as self diagnosing ........... JUST DON'T
In good health .........
................ Lost Spirit ..............