Am I sick or making myself sick - HIV Prevention Message Board

pipesnerves · 08-25-2005, 11:00 AM

Ok heres my story.

July of last year I went on a trip with my company. One night I ended up getting into little bit of trouble. I went and hooked up with a women from my work. She performed oral sex on me. Now while she was performing oral I came to my senses and left the room. I am married by the way. Anyways about 10 days later I started getting swollen gums, marks on my penis (they werent sore), and cancors under my tongue...

So after about 6 months of worrying I finally got the courage to go see my doctor and got tested. Well after I got the blood and urine done the doctor told me he would call me if anything showed up or was wrong with me, and nothing came up and I didnt get a call, so I assumed I was ok..

In this time as well my wife got pregnant and gave birth to our child. My wife never experienced anything like I did, and she was also tested twice for STD's and HIV while she was pregnant and nothing showed up either.

Well the other day the lady at my work told me she was going to get tested because she wanted to make sure everything was fine with herself because she didnt know the past of the guys she has been with (she says 4 guys, 3 are married so she is worried about 1 of them.).

I am absolutly freaked that this lady is going to tell me that she has something and that I might have caught it, its going to ruin me. I have already ruined myself thinking that I have something there is no way I can live with myself if I have something and if I passed it on to my wife and child.

I have only had one sexual partner in my life (my wife) and then I go and screw up by getting oral from this women at work.

I already feel like a dead beep for doing what I did, is there anyway I can make myself happy again?? I want to stop all this but I am such a worry wart that its going to kill me literilly...

I wish I could move on with my life.

CARAT414 · 08-25-2005, 12:23 PM

Pipes, I would think that if you had contracted something that you would still be suffering from it without treatment. Did you call the doctor and ask if the tests showed anything??? I would start there, and if you still don't believe them, go get retested and include an HIV test in there.
Your wife and child are safe I would believe because of the extensive testing that is done for a pregnancy didn't show anything.
The guilty feelings that you have for cheating on your wife is something you are either going to need to come to terms with on your own or by seeking out counceling.
Stress can cause several strange symptoms to occur. I know that the week before every surgery I get night sweats, a low grade fever, and sometimes a rash. (It's because I am terrified of needles)
I wish you the best of luck,
Casey

angel4u · 08-28-2005, 08:18 AM

Sounds to me like this lady is playing head games with you dear. Did you ask your doc to check for hiv when first tested...If not go get tested. Your wife was tested during pregnancy I believe that is now a standard test. Oral sex carries low risk especially for the male recieving it.....Seems your guilt is making you ill, as it should lol. Go get tested and speak to a counselor about all this you will feel so much better.....Peace PS: learn from this and stay faithful.....