Advice please!! - HIV Prevention Message Board

Miss Anxiety · 02-20-2006, 03:18 PM

Hi

I've posted here before but despite months of trying cannot rid myself of the thought that I have HIV. In brief, last unprotected sex was 10 years ago (apart from partner that I have been with since). I have had three negative tests out to 9 years. I continue to have ongoing symptoms (at present dry eyes, congestion, stomach pains, swollen glands). My partner who refuses to have a test as he thinks I am mad, has a very visible gland behind his ear which has been there for at least 7 months so this is freaking me out. Aren't these all symptoms of HIV so why are my tests continually negative. I am convinced that my body just isn't producing antibodies. I do not know what to do and am making myself sick with worry. Any advice please!

Miss Anxiety

last1 · 02-20-2006, 05:34 PM

Well, there are a couple of things going on here: First, you stated that your last unprotected sexual act was ten years ago and you have been with your partner for the last ten years. You have tested negative three time in the last nine years. When was your last negative test?

Second, while you implied that you have been monogamous during this relationship, would you ever have reason to believe that your partner has not?

Third, while I suggest that, if he has been monogamous (as you have claimed you have been) and that you have tested negative, then it is possible that, whatever you may think you are experiencing has nothing to do with HIV. Remember that you cannot diagnose HIV through symptoms and only by lab tests. HIV symptoms, whatever we may think they are, mimic so many other ailments, that diagnosing based on symptoms really will make you crazy. Your dry eys, congestion, stomach pains, and swollen glands could be anything from allergies, to stomach reflux, to a slight infection.

Fourth, what does concern me is your partner's unwillingness to be tested. While he may think you're "mad" it would seem to me that, after a ten year relationship, he would do whatever he could to reduce your anxiety His reluctance to that may, mind you, have nothing to do with HIV, but just be a way he wants to assert himself in this relationship. As for the 'swollen gland' behind his neck - this could be anything from an ingrown hair, infected hair follicle, lymphoma, etc.

Ultimately, the point is that, if you are still freaking out about this, then you will need, for your own peace of mind, to be tested. If your tests indicate that you do not have HIV, then you may want to (ala Lysistrata) have sex with him only if he uses a condom. chris

MrShannon · 02-20-2006, 07:43 PM

Can a body actually NOT produce antibodies to HIV?

Worried guy · 02-20-2006, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrShannon

Can a body actually NOT produce antibodies to HIV?

I'm not absolutely 100% sure about that, but hypothetically if the body didn't make antibodies the infection would be so great you'd have massive and prolonging symptoms that would not allow you to do anything but stay in bed or maybe death would come in a few days after infection. Basically its impossible because that would mean you were born with an immune problem, and unless you spent your whole life in a bubble, you've been exposed to many viruses and the body has always fought them off. Therefore your body has always produced antibodies (being that your alive is proof of that) for viruses and dieseases, and HIV is no different.

MrShannon · 02-21-2006, 11:12 AM

So, if I've had the disease for over 5 years or even 3 years, and am alive, then my body has, without a doubt, developed anitbodies?