Living with HIV fear for almost 10 years - HIV Prevention Message Board

landi311 · 09-13-2006, 03:30 AM

Ten years ago I had unprotected sex with someone I didn't know. I got scare i got HIV and had a HIV test done in about 11 weeks or so (a bit less then 3 months). I was very ignorant about HIV/AIDS at that time. I din't know that it could take even 6 months. I learnt this years after that and I have lived with this fear since then.

Now it has been 10 years and I have not found the courage to do another test. I know I have to but I cannot.

I haven't had any disease or particular symptoms. But i have felt a bit fatigue in the last 4 years or so. I does coincides with a new more hectic job and more stressfull life in general.

I have a son who is 3 years and 9 months old. He is very healthy and has never been seriusly ill (except for normal flues in rare occasions - other childrens in his kindergarten were having those too). I have read that HIV born kids should have the symptoms at around 2 years old.

I have never made any blood test or anyother type of tests before as I never needed to. My wife had a general blood test (i think it tested the red cells and hemoglobine levels as well) some 4 years ago. I don't remember for what purpose but she was not sick. The results or OK, nothing to worry about as the doctor said.

In the recent months i am scared to death about a possibility that we may have HIV. As I said no particular symptoms. Just feeling a bit lightheaded and tired, which can be caused from several reasons I know - stress especially.

Can someone tell what is the likelyhood of me being positive. I know I should do the test, but I am not ready yet to confront myself with this situation.

P.s. If we have HIV, my wife would have got it from me around the same time, just 3 months after.

last1 · 09-13-2006, 03:09 PM

I would think that the test you had is conclusive. HIV does have a way of sneaking up on us, however, that's why it is suggested that one have the test at three months. Some people choose to have a follow-up a six months to be absolutely sure. I do suspect that this was heterosexual (male and woman vaginal) intercourse which would make the possibilties, for the most part, slim.

I am concerned that you have this fear but seem to be willing to have your family become symtomatic in order to determine your own status....but, what the heck, that's just me.

Stay healthy,happy, and love your family. chris

landi311 · 09-14-2006, 02:55 AM

The reason I have got scared is that it was not exactly 3 months. As I said it was about 11 week (2,5 months or so) and the fact that it may take up to 6 months sometimes.

The reason i mentioned my family is that i just wanted to give more information in order for someone here (an experts) be able to tell if there is any chance i have got HIV by giving a couple of facts that would suggest not:

1. General blood test done by my wife showing no problems.
2. My son becoming 4 years old and no problems again (I have read it would not take more than 2 years for a HIV born child to show symptoms).

As you see I am trying to convince myself that there is no problem. I know it is stupid and that I should just go and make a test. But I am affraid and I don't know how I will cope with that. I love my family and it would kill me. Often i pray to god that i am willing to die of anything (cancer e.g) just for my family to be OK.

Also, in this part of the world, there is a lot of stigma and bad perceptions of HIV people.

also, i wanted to get this out of my chest. I have kept this as a dark secret of mine for years and not telling to anyone. It kills you.