What can I do? - HIV Prevention Message Board

JustGinger · 09-21-2006, 12:11 AM

To all of you who are HIV+ or close to someone who is +:

My brother tested positive about a month ago, though some days it feels like it has been a lifetime. Myself, my husband, and my mother are all trying to be supportive and stand by him, but he is constantly pushing us away. I know that this is a normal reaction, but I find myself very worried about him. He is bipolar and has struggled with alcoholism, drugs, and depression for many years. At first, he was doing okay. He was eating healthy, staying away from drugs and alcohol (he's been sober for 4 months now) and was coming over for dinner every night. (We have a duplex) Also, he was spending a good amount of time with my daughter who is 6 months old and that seemed to give him something positive to fight for. Now, we haven't seen him in 2 days and he won't even answer his phone. I talked to him through the window earlier today and told him to come down for dinner and he said he was fine. Can anyone give me advice as to how I can be supportive without making things worse? Our family has always been really close and it's killing me to see him in so much pain and not be able to help. Thanks in advance.

Ginger

adamace1 · 09-21-2006, 08:48 PM

Wow thats a hard one. Maybe he just wants some time to himself, maybe he doesn't feel good. Or maybe he is doing something he thinks you will be upset about. Maybe next time you can sit down and talk to him tell him how you feel. And talk about how it makes you feel when he is not around. Thats the best i can come up with.

KoolMan · 09-22-2006, 01:12 AM

Hey there........we do understand your emotions & it's really tough i know facing such situations........anybody who is faced with illness especially HIV needs support & it's great to know that ur'e willing to provide it, which is a major step.....what happens is first people go through a period of disbelief as to how what has happened could happen to them, then followed by a brief period of depression & then finally accpetance...which is the stage they can then look forward to geting over it......firstly u really need to be positive & persevere....he may be going thru the first 2 phases which are indeed tough....but dont worry slowly he will accept his situation after which u need to counsel & talk to him that it's not the end of the world..& there are ways to fight HIV & keep it suppressed by taking the right treatment.....please continue to support him the way you are.....all the best!
May God bless!
Koolman

Ronnie99 · 09-22-2006, 09:12 PM

I think you being supportive of your brother will be a great benefit to him and his continued good health. He is certainly a lucky person to have such a great person as a sister!

Regards,

Ronnie

itramlin · 09-23-2006, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronnie99

I think you being supportive of your brother will be a great benefit to him and his continued good health. He is certainly a lucky person to have such a great person as a sister!

Regards,

Ronnie

i can only agree with this, you're a great sister but i think you're not being patient enuff. I mean, the news is shocking, i just found out, a couple of days ago. He needs time, as someone said to go through all the stages. The only thing you can do is keeping on doing wot you're doin now and you will see, time will make things better.

best luck, i wish i had i sister like you who i coult talk to so openly.