Just need to talk - HIV Prevention Message Board

06-22-2002, 08:36 PM

I'm 23 years old and broke up with my babies father yesterday. He used to not come home untill 6am 1 or 2x a week. I thought it was due to Alcoholism...not cheating. He left my house yesterday and moved directly in with a woman I know who has HIV. She always has been in denial and never gotten tested but, last month, I have spoken with her x-boyfriend who has AIDS and he said that he's been telling her that she is at risk because he most probably had AIDS (not sure) while he was living with her 6 months ago.
The chances that she has AIDS are high (she's also a drug user). My babies father say's he hasn't ever cheated on me with her but that's probably a lie.

I am so scared...I don't know what to do! Should I get tested, how confidential is the testing, and how often should I test???

Lindarella · 06-23-2002, 06:42 AM

Sorry to hear you're going through such a bad time. First you don't really know if any of the players in that game have HIV or AIDS. If I were in your shoes, I'd get tested because once you find there has been cheating, you've been to bed with these people too in an indirect way.

Yes, the test is confidential. A county health department can lead you to a testing facility in your area.

HIV isn't very easy to catch so you're probably fine but like you, I'd worry especially about the IV drug user. I think it will help your mental anquish to test. Good luck to you. It will be ok.

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 08-23-2002).]

FatAndDepressed · 08-23-2002, 06:52 AM

not easy to catch? hmmm, well i'm sure there are thousands of people living with hiv/aids right now that would totally disagree with that statement. scared23yomom, if i was you, i'd get tested. it is confidential, and its better to know, than not to know. hope everything works out for you, and take care of yourself. God bless!

p.s. let us know how you're doing

[This message has been edited by FatAndDepressed (edited 08-30-2002).]

ADepressedGuy · 08-26-2002, 01:53 AM

Testing at 6 weeks (HIV Antibody, Elisa) past your LAST exposure is very reassuring,but not 100% conclusive. Six week tests can offer confidence while waiting for the three month test. No futhur testing is "needed" after three months, but in cases of a possible significant exposure a six month test can be ordered to put the mind at ease. If your boyfriend had HIV, understand that it's not a 100% transmission rate per sexual act. It's roughly 3%-5% per act of anal sex, 1%-3% for vaginal, and far less than 1% for oral, if at all. G'luck and let us know.

***** In Seattle · 09-11-2002, 05:44 PM

There's definitely anonymous testing available, but at a price. Even then the nurse that draws your blood is going to know that you're there for testing.

Call your county or city HIV/AIDS hotline and talk with them about testing. There's most likely an option that will be affordable and work for you. It's the only way that you will find out. In the meantime make certain that when you have sex you have your partner wear a condom. You need to stay healthy for your kids.

*****