Hello BadLuck. I'm sorry to read about your worry, I am very worried myself, had a similar experience and I havent tested yet. All I can say is the following:
An HIV test after 4 weeks (unless is a PCR test which is very expensive) cannot confirm or deny the presence of HIV in your body. Why? its too soon. BUT the fact that you tested negative, is indeed an encouraging result.
As many people have told me here, there is absolutely no way to diagnose an infection based on symptoms. I have had most the symptoms myself (including fevers, diarrhea, etc), but in this cae the swollen lymph node you mantion is more than likely NOT HIV related, because in most of the cases, the swelling is general (sides of neck, armpits, groin), since HIV is a sistemic (all over your body) infection.
Its hard, I know this myself right now, but try to take it easy, anxiety (as it has played with me) can be very bad on you, especially if you dont eat well, and worry about this all the time. Go talk to a doctor about your concerns and refer eveything to him/her. Call the CDC hotline (I did and made me feel better).
3 months after exposure is the earliest recommended timeframe for testing. I hope and I'm pretty sure you will come out negative. 6 months is the maximum (per say, since most infected people are detected here).
I hope you find relief for your worriness and anxiety.
Be safe, be smart, live life!
Your exposure (like mine) was of a significant lower risk. Although I do realize that using the same condom was not a very wise thing to do.
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