I am 30 year old guy, Had encounter with an aferican American women I did have sex using condom but before that I did oral job to her and the fingered her and with the same hand though dry when try to tear the packet touched inside the condom. The hand was dry but was slippery because of vaginal fluid.
Two weeks later I don't remember whether I started analyzing/playing with my lymph node first (Because looking at the internet) and then it became swollen or it became swollen and then I started looking on the net.
Briefly, I touched it a lot and it is swollen both side and now I see that there is an elevation behind my ear too.
The thing is that I am too nervous and it could be because of this. I had lots of burning and pain when I touch it a lot under my chin (Both side).
Now (after 7 weeks) what is happening is the gland behind my ear is elevating at the right side and now left also (It is turn by turn). WHY IS THE BURNING IN THE GLAND, Which is sometimes unbearable. Every time something happening I feel it with burn and pain. I work whole day on computer may be I am stressing out too much my neck so my neck and shoulder area also gives me pain specially in the evening. But why this burning like feeling that too in the evening say after 4 o'clock.
I had ELISA test after 4 weeks of encounter it came as -ve.
I spoke to the women as I can't talk to her too much she has moved to another city and she does not give me her phone number also but calls me time to time. Says that she is doing fine and you are paranoid. But I am not fully satisfied with her argument as she had fever last week but for 1 day only. I asked her why you are taking theraflu in Fever... She got mad and yelled at me. Her thinking is that if you have something the problem with occur down(private area) there. She says she is working fine and the fever was because she changed the place and working with kids. So it may happen. She says if anything would happen in my body I would feel it most definately. I don't know how to convince her to go for HIV test for me as there has been hardly 2 months since exposure and I am as scared as hell. I can't tell you my situation how much I am crying everday and night and at the verge of losing my job.
I don't really know what to do in this situation.
I can't figure out why this lymph node is swollen and now when I almost stopped touching it the one behin ear that too burning in the evening... Have I contracted some STD's?? But the doctor checked for the Herpes etc also when I went after 4 weeks.
She is so confident that she says she had sex before me one and half year ago. She always had protected sex. I pray she did the things she is saying.
What are the chances if you have sex after 2 week of possible exposure and for sure you are -ve at that time and had un protected sex with your long term girlfriend whom you know she is -ve. What are the chances of her exposure... Please?
Please help me...
[This message has been edited by BadLuck (edited 01-22-2003).]
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-------PLease someone Pray for me I promise, this will be my first and last mistake...
First of all, all African-Americans are not walking AIDS cases. It's no secret that AIDS disproportionately affects minority communities, but that doesn't mean you should run far and run fast from every encounter with a non-Caucasian. The reason these communities are affected are largely societal and not biological.
That said, you are another victim of the information superhighway. You can't translate vague symptoms like swollen glands into systemic STD's. On top of this, oral sex and especially fingering carries a low risk of HIV infection. You did great by wearing a condom correctly and I hope you use condoms consistently in the future.
For now, though, I ask you to do four things:
1) Stop looking up symptoms on the internet. Go with one set of information and stick with that. I recommend the CDC website. Other than that, leave it alone.
2) Stop messing with your lymph nodes and diagnosing yourself. You are not a doctor. See your physician about any symptoms you are experiencing.
3) Leave that woman alone. She sounds like she might be ignorant enough to call the cops or something if you keep harassing her about it. You two were intimate a while ago, she's moved on and unless either of you come up infected with anything, you should leave it at that.
4) Right now, you're in danger of losing your job and you need to rectify that situation ASAP. I'm pretty sure you can't afford to maintain your household in this economy without a job, and think of how embarrassing it would be to move in with the parents at age 30. So I want you to get some psychiatric help. Check with your insurance company about how they handle psychiatric treatment and what you need to do. I advise you to start with a psychiatrist who can evaluate and diagnose you, and prescribe you some medications and therapy to help you if required.
I believe that you're worried about this, and don't know where to turn. But it's going to be okay if you just calm down and think rationally, and do some things to control some of the damage going on. Eventually, you may be strong enough to take a test after 3 months if you feel it's needed, and after that you can get on with it.
First of all, I must thank Yikes for the detail reply... Thank ou soooooooo very much.
I will try to stick to the advice you have given. My only concern right now is swollen Lymph node under the jaw both sides(one each side of the neck under the jaw). I think it is getting little better but not sure. coz it is taking soooo long to heal/squeeze. I don't touch it any more but the swelling is not going down very slow, Actually i can't figure out as sometimes it feels small. But nothing worst has happen as yet. I gained (recovered) wait what I lost after the panic I guess, when MY HOME ACCESS RESULT AFTER 8 WEEKS CAME -VE.
And yes she stopped calling me and, I did the same coz I get scared when I talk to her and she says everytime I am tired, I got fever...etc.
Could someone tell me what is CYST?? And how it looks/feel like. Is it Cyst or really a lymph I am confused, How to distinguish???
Again, Thanks to Tinker for your replying
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-------PLease someone Pray for me I promise, this will be my first and last mistake...
badluck-are you reading everyones replies? Many people have offered you suggestions and advice, some very sound advice. You need to relax, I can tell fromyour postings that you are freaking out. I told you i did same thing. You need to stop diagnosing yourself, get your job in order. I'm going to say something that you may not like but here goes. The chances are very slim that you have contracted anything life threatening, but god forbid you did. All this worry and panic will not change anything. You would still have to step up to the plate, take responsibility, and do what it takes to handle the situation and live. It's easy for others to tell you to relax, but alot of those people who are telling you this speak from experience. As someone else posted, you are not a doctor. If you have researched all this stuff, than rather feeling awful about what you may have, you should realize that you probably have nothing based on what you have looked up. Your symptoms may or may not exist and if you keep touching yurself and feeling around, you will find something if your mind is thinking that way. dude, calm down, deep breath, you are probably healthy as healthy can be. You should feel good about yourself that you used a condom. many people don't.
Francis, Rachel or anyone please 
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