Anxiety rules my life..please help - HIV Prevention Message Board

05-15-2003, 11:08 AM

What a long 3 months this has been, i wish i could just put it all behind me and forget about it.

On January 25, 2003 I did the most stupid thing ever, I was out with a friend having a few drinks. She uses drugs, speed, the only thing i know of, anyways I snorted a few lines with her that night, me my first time ever doing that. I dont know what i was thinking 2 days after i came to my senses I relised what i did was sooo wrong, i cried and cried. My friends boyfriend has Hep C and I dont know if he is HIV+ so now im really worked up thinking i got something, my friend told me a few weeks prior to my incident, that she thinks she dying cause all she does is sleep 24/7 she said, i told her to go and get tested, but she never did. Well i never talked to her after my incident. My boyfriend saw her a few weeks ago, in a not so great part of town, he said she was sooo skinny and scratching, her eyes were bulging out of her head, when he told me this i felt so sick to my stomach. I was her best friend I helped so many times and now i feel so bad she hit rock bottom, she has 2 kids that have been in foster care since November2002, I have a family of my own and my heart breaks thinking I might have something. I feel fine i have really bad anxiety,I cant sleep i wake at all hours of the night, my bowels are screwed up diareha on and off, that triggers my anxiety bad, cause i keep wondering why i get diareha, must be HIV, so i cry and cry, my doctor put me on Effexor XR 37.5mg but i couldnt even watch my kids after taking that medication, i just felt like a zombie. I tested negative at 9 weeks for HIV and Hep C, is that a good sign?? i sure hope so. I just was tested again at 14 weeks, i get my results tomorrow afternoon.

kara

Temperamental · 05-15-2003, 12:17 PM

Kara I don't understand the HIV risk you are worried about here. Did you have sex with somebody you are worried about? If all you did was snort coke then there is no risk of HIV doing that.

Temperamental · 05-15-2003, 12:18 PM

Kara I don't understand the HIV risk you are worried about here. Did you have sex with somebody you are worried about? If all you did was snort coke then there is no risk of HIV doing that.

05-15-2003, 03:42 PM

thanks for replying temp. I never had unprotected sex, all i did was snort the speed a few times that night, I thought you can catch it like that. The health dept. never told me i can catch it like that, so thats why i paniced and just assumed you can catch it through snorting, all they told me it was a very low risk, even for the Hep C. But tomorrow i get my results, so maybe my life can return to normal and i can try to put the past behind me. Its so hard, I feel bad for my family, cause i have been so misrable these past few months and it aint fair the way i treated them, just for one night of being stupid, is not worth it. I just hope i learned a valueable lesson in life and dont take things for granted, cause you just never know these days. I will let you know what my test results are tomorrow. Thanks

)

kara

Temperamental · 05-15-2003, 04:04 PM

Kara unless you exchanged body fluids with someone who has HIV (had sex with or used IV drugs and shared needles) there is no risk in snorting or sharing a dollar bill or whatever it is you shared.

PLEASE learn how HIV is transmitted before you panic uncessarily. Unless you have unprotected sex, or share needles you are at no risk.