How huge is this risk involving my child? - HIV Prevention Message Board

07-23-2003, 06:05 AM

My husband is HIV +, I am negative and we have a 17 month old daughter who is negative. Since finding out he was positive we always protect ourselves. (We found out he was + when we applied for life insurance). The other day our daughter was cranky and my husband felt all along her gums and sure enough she was cutting a molar. My husband is a mechanic and his hands are frequently cut up. The fingers he used to feel inside my daughters mouth were indeed red and cut up. In fact, the day before this incident, he scraped a finger so bad that a layer of skin came off. He bled profusely the previous day. HE CLAIMS that there is no worry because no fresh blood was oozing out. BUT, the many cuts were NOT scabbed over yet and very raw looking, so I am extremely angry with him for taking this chance. I love my husband, but this constant worry of infecting myself or my daughter is very overwhelming. Am I overreacting, or did he put our daughters life in danger?

07-23-2003, 08:43 AM

I wouldnt worry about it. Did he definitley touch her with his cut finger? I doubt your husband would be this careleess and put his daughter at risk. Chances are he knows an awful lot more about transmission than what you might do.

Sorry if this is an assumptive post. Whilst i appreciate your concern i really dont think you have anything to worry about.

Gordon

maybe helpful · 07-23-2003, 09:55 AM

Im not sure youll find the answer your looking for. Although many of us have educated ourselves on HIV, I dont know that we could give you the right answer on this. There seem to be alot of unknowns. MAYBE his finger had an open wound, but not bleeding. MAYBE it wasnt. I know that MANY people live years and years with people with HIV and AIDS, sharing bathrooms, food, and living areas with never contracting the virus. But, for what you mentioned, and the fact that this is a child, I would hate to be reassuring if I wasnt sure I knew the answer. I think the best thing you can do would be to call your family Dr, or if you prefer, call the AIDS hotline. They might be better equipped to answer your question. And, I for one, am very interested in the answer to the question you asked, so if you get one, let us know!

On a side note, I am sure the everyday stress and worry are hard for you, and I wish you the BEST of luck. It would be difficult.

07-23-2003, 04:02 PM

He did use his cut fingers. I am furious at him and I am about to leave him for being so careless. I will simply die if he passed this to my child.

maybe helpful · 07-23-2003, 04:07 PM

Did he know he was using is injured finger at the time, or was it just a second thought that he realized he had? It probably was unintentional. Did you consult a Dr?

I wish you and your sweet little one well!