FirefighterNeedsHelp

This is to many who many of you who have possibly been in contact with HIV to help you and me feel better. It is such a stressful situation, that I do not know how to deal with it. My story is long, but if you have time to read it or respond, go ahead.
First of all, I had a chance to get HIV because I had a Definite exposure to HIV positive blood while rescuing a victim of a motor vehicle accident. The person was bleeding heavily, and blood splashed into my mouth and eyes. I did wash off very well after about 15 minutes, but I couldn't stop doing my job to clean it off until the patient was out. Anyway, I washed my entire face with as much soap as I could, at the time, not even thinking about HIV.
Later that night, a friend joked about that I could have caught Aids from the victim. I just blew it off and didn't worry about it.
The Next morning, my Lymph Glands in my neck felt swollen. I figured I pulled my neck or something, because it was very slight.
Later, I was on the internet, and I decided to check up on HIV. When I saw the symptoms of Acute HIV, and one was swollen Lymph Glands, my heart sunk, I immediately almost passed out, and have been stuck to the computer since then for help.
Right after seeing the symptoms, I went to the emergency room for help. I was put on PEP for 28 days to try to help not get infected.
The doctors said that the blood in my mouth has NO risk of HIV transmission, and the blood in my eye is so slight of a risk that I almost have no chance to get it. This is one of the best hospitals in the US, and seems to be a very good doctor. BUT:
If you can get HIV from performing oral sex, then why couldn't I get it from getting blood in my mouth if blood has more HIV in it then any other fluid?
The next part of my ordeal was the medication. I was told that I would probably get very ill from taking it, so they left it up to me if I wanted to take it or not. But they said it probably reduces the risk of HIV infection by 85%. So, giving my already low risk, it makes it even lower.
What I don't understand, is that wouldn't someone rather be sick for 28 days to lower their risk than to not do anything and have a higher risk? I am only 22, and I would rather loose a month of my life than to be sick with it forever. I can't understand people's thinking, but I have taken all 28 days now, and I didn't get sick once. Just slightly tired and some slight headaches.
Anyway, over the time that I was on medicine, I found the victim on the accident. (even though it is appearantly illegal for me to do so because of privacy laws)
It was a very nice person, who was raped and was infected a few years ago. They were so cooperative with me, and admitted to being positive. They were grateful that I helped them in the accident, and felt so bad that I have to go through this waiting period. They even offered to go with me to the doctor for support. So, with them being known positive, I continued the PEP.
Here are my symptoms so far, which a doctor said is from stress, something else, and the PEP.
1 day: Swollen lymph nodes, 3 days: White tongue with ulcers on it, 4 weeks sore throat, runny nose, tiredness.
All the doctors say no way for swollen nodes after only 1 day. They say my white tongue is way too early to be from HIV. They say it Could be from the medicine. Also, they say sore throat at 4 weeks could be a symptom, but they say it is probably a cold since it went away in 2 days and was accompanied by a runny nose first. Everyone else at the fire dept. had a sore throat and cold too. But it still scared me.
It has been 30 days now. I ordered a few Descreet test kits from Canada. Dumbest thing I ever did.
I took one yesterday, even though I was warned that 30 days is too early.
I did what the directions say, the pink control line appeared in a couple minutes, nothing at all in the Test region. It says ignore all test results after 15 minutes, so I figured it could take up to 15 minutes for the T to turn red. I looked at 5 minutes, still nothing at all. Remember, the Control line showed up bright in 2 minutes. Then, a few more minutes, and I thought I saw something in the Test line. I started to shake real bad, so I didn't touch the test. I just let it sit there for another minute. After 10 minutes, There was a definite slight shadow on the one line, but didn't appear to have any pink in it. At the 15 minute mark, it maybe was pink slightly, I thought I could see pink in it. But, everyone else said there was no pink at all, it was just a shadow. But regardless, Here were my thoughts: It said in the directions that even a slight pink shadow in the Test part should be considered positive. I thought that since it was only 30 days, maybe I had just slightly enough of the antibody to make the line, but not turn it pink. So, I decided to take another test. The same happened. I was so upset that I could not think straight. I was sure I was positive. So, I went straight to the HIV test place. I went where they can do the DNA or RNA test that is supposed to be 95% effective after 28 days. Results are available within 24 hours. The test isn't cheap, but I didn't care.
They said there is a good possibility of a false positive, but a false negative is pretty rare. so if I got a positive, I still had hope, and if I got a negative, I was pretty sure to be negative. I took it, and it came up negative. I am not out of the woods yet per the CDC test recommendation, but do not worry about the descreet test kit. I have found out that if the pink line in the test zone appears before or with the control line, that it is a possibility of being positive. But, if the control line appears first, then you get a shadow or line later on the test side, it means nothing. It is just your blood soaking through the test strip. And it seems that the HIV-1 line is where most are getting their false shadows, I do not know why that is, but there is something that is different than the HIV-2. I also had my mom take a test, and the same thing happened that happened to me, and she is 100% negative without a doubt. So, I am not saying the test is a bad thing, but the directions should be more clear. I consider myself to be pretty smart, and even I thought I had a positive result when I didn't. Also, if anyone knows of any really good experts on the disease please let me know. I would still like to see a doctor who specializes in this field. Please feel free to tell me your thoughts on this or say any comments that you may have.
Also, it does not matter how you come in contact with it. I happened to contact it like this, but consensual sex is not a crime either. No one should be put through this stress ever. However, if a rapist passes it to a victim, the penalty should be very severe.
Also, to those who have sex with prostitutes, please think about yourselves. Is it really worth the stress of worrying for months for that little bit of enjoyment? I would rather walk around without getting any than to walk around worrying like this. And, you would think that if it happens once, and you are HIV Negative, that you would never even think about doing it again. I just don't see how you could.
To all, be safe, healthy, careful, and I hope to hear from someone.
Any thoughts or suggestions on this matter are welcome.