Fanta

Thank so much for your quick reply, I am really greatfull. I know that I have to get tested I wish I never had sex I mean this could ruine my life! Mabey people can live a relativly normal life but I really dout it, because they will be forever contaminated with this deadly virous I mean Im young (19) and if I have aids I think I would want to die as soon as I can because I couldnt do normal things people my age do like going on dates and eventually finding that special guy that I someday might marry because nobody whould want a sexuall relationship with me if I were to have aids and I wouldint want to ever ever put anyone at risk even if the person agreed to have relations with me of course protected but whats protected anyways I mean I whould be In constant fear for that person I could never go through with it so you see my life whould be reuined in so many ways and I am still so scared to get tested because I am to afraid of the outcome I dont have anyone to talk to about this its killing me because I really like this guy I am going out with and before I sleep with him I know that I need to get tested. I dont think I can share my concerns with him because of the fear that he might take it the wrong way and label me as already having aids even before I know for shure. I know this guy is the right one but then again thats what I thought about the guy I had sex with and he didint even want a relationship. All I ever want and need is one special guy and to be faithfull to each other I really wish I could turn back the hands of time and be a virgin again and tell him that he has absolutly nothing to worry about but I caint and I have to get tested I know that and if infact I am positive well then noone can ever help me no doctors no meds nothing all I want then is to die. I know this sounds imature and crazy but everyone really thing about it in my opinion your life is over! To everybody on this board if you have recently found out that you are negative please learn from your encounter and never ever seak thrills be safe infact dont have sex with multiple people only if you are in a commited relationship do I think that sex is even safe in this day and age! Mabey not even then. I have to learn this the hard way and It could even be to late for me dont make it to late for you be safe and have a good head on your shoulders at all times and remember sex isint all its turned out to be and thats the dead honest truth! It could ruine your life and the lives of your family because remember boyfriends and or girlfriends come and go but your family should allways be the most important factor in your life because they will be lost without you nobody is worth that pain!