think about living with aids first! - HIV Prevention Message Board

09-23-2003, 12:16 PM

HI! I just wanted to tell you about what happened to me. I met this guy and I got to really like him, anyways things got heated and we had sex twice with a condom twice without(very stupid move one my part) Now I am really scared that I might have got aids from him. It has already been 8 months since then and I still dont have enough courage to go get tested crazy right? I just feel a sense of dread and I caint bring myself to do it! I havent told anyone about this and I didint ask him whether or not he got tested. He told me he just was not ready for a relationship and so I just let him go even though I really wanted something more. Anyways now I am really freaking out about the unprotected sex thing I guess I was just really stupid to be so trusting and I dont know if he is even positive, he was very reluctant of not using a condom mabey he didint trust me but I told him thatI was safe because I never had sex before. what does anybody think should I be worried? I caint even think about how horrible it must be to live with aids knowing that you can never get married or have any children, start a family! I really wish I wasent soooooo stupid I really need some one to help me with my fear please

maybe helpful · 09-23-2003, 12:25 PM

Fear is a powerful thing! But, from what you said, the best wat to ease your fear is o be tested. You could be worrying for nothing. If its negative then CONGRATULATIONS! You have learned a great lesson and will probably never take the risk again. If its positive, DONT PANIC! Its not the end of the world. People go on to live healthy succesful lives for MANY years!

I know how scary it is. At some point, all of us on this board have been where you are, scared and frightened. Dont let the fear win, get a test, its the best thing to do.

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Good Luck and Be Safe

09-25-2003, 02:16 PM

I understant you, it is happening to me, too and I am feeling the same, I got tested yesterday and they will give me the result tomorrow, I am very scared, because my actual boyfriend asked me to marry him and he doesnt know that I possible have AIDS. I dont know what to do I am desperate like you.

besafe20 · 09-25-2003, 04:26 PM

If theres anything in my life that has caused fear its the whole hiv thing. I was at possible risk two years ago and tested negative. I still visit this board because I totally know what you all are going through. I think about how different my life would be if it was positive. I think a lot of times the anxiety about having it doesnt really hit you until you get tested and are waiting for those results. I was sooo scared couldnt eat sleep or anything. The only thing to do is get tested so you can at least rest. Its weird how you can have sex with someone and not even think about STDS until afterwards! I always look back and think about how dumb I was! But anyways get tested and its easier if you have someone by your side like a good friend or somebody. Good luck!