need advice - HIV Prevention Message Board

ddd2222us · 07-18-2003, 03:36 PM

My only exposure happened almost 4 weeks ago. A woman performed oral sex on me. She was not a sexworker, escort, or stripper. Just your typical single mother I guess. I don't know why I'm panicking in the first place because I know that insertive oral is virtually nil in the risk department and I have no reason to believe this person has HIV. As of 7 months ago she tested negative. The only unsafe sex she has is oral, which is a low risk exposure. It's also safe to assume that in most likelihood the men she has been with since that test were negative also.
I've been freaking out real bad lately, I'm worrying about a risk that is described as virtually nil when I don't have good reason to even think the person I was with was positive.
Luckily she has agreed to get tested next week to make me stop worrying. Now I'm worrying over what her result might be.
Am i panicking for no reason?

maybe helpful · 07-18-2003, 04:27 PM

Yes! The test is a good idea, for BOTH of you. Peace of mind AND the fact that YOU know you are clean NOW. Be safe.

ddd2222us · 07-18-2003, 04:46 PM

so what your saying maybehelpful, is that i wasnt at risk in relation to this exposure?

maybe helpful · 07-19-2003, 01:18 AM

Lets put it this way~there is ALWAYS a risk, its just the KIND of risk lessens your chances of contracting. If, in a hetrosexual relationship one partner is HIV+, and they practice unsafe sex, many times over the course of 6 months, then the risk of passing HIV on is MUCH higher then what you explain. You say that SHE preformed oral sex on you. So, lets break it down. HIV can live in saliva, but isnt usually passed through it, thats why kissing is safe. The risk to HER in this instance is actually GREATER then the risk to you(because she could directly contact sexual fluids, and even at that, the risk is small). If she has taken HIV tests in the past, then she is probably very aware of her risks, and is sure she is ok. The fact she is willing to be tested again is also a good sign. I would say that you have VERY VERY SMALL risk, and VERY VERY GOOD chances of everything being fine. Go with her, get tested together, and when the results are NEGATIVE, go out, celebrate and be safe!! Good Luck.

zip2play · 07-19-2003, 06:07 AM

If one is going to worry unmercifully over every single sex act, no matter how trivial, for a life long, then there are only two alternatives: psychotherapy or abstinence.
Ugly but true.

[This message has been edited by zip2play (edited 07-19-2003).]