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Old 04-24-2010, 08:31 PM   #1
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Please Help

Okay, I'm very concerned. I'm 17 years old and I've only had one boyfriend. I did NOT want to have sex with him, but he was very manipulative I guess you could say. In anycase, I made him wear a condom, but now I'm having awful symptoms that I can't help but wonder if they're HIV related. I'm exhausted, and the glands in my neck are very swollen and painful. I feel really weak too. It's been over two months since I've dated him...probably closer to 2 1/2 since I slept with him. Also, I did get mono from him back in January, and I read somewhere that the virus that causes mono and HIV can lead to lymphoma...would that be the reason for my really painful glands?
I know I should probably get tested, but I'm terrified of my parents' reactions...they expect me to be a virgin...and I don't blame them. I feel very ashamed of myself...so if you have any advice on what to tell them please let me know...thank you so much.

 
Old 04-24-2010, 11:01 PM   #2
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Re: Please Help

Hi there,

You had protected safe sex. Safe sex is exactly that safe, 100% safe. Please, you have not been exposed to HIV at all, there is absolutely no way you could possibly have contracted HIV through the circumstances you have described.

If you wish to tell your parents that you have had sex, then I am sorry I am not really in a position to advise you, this really is your call. If on the other hand you wish to tell your parents that you think you may have contracted HIV, then there is no point because there is no chance and I mean absolutely no chance you could have.

Please you are a young lady with your entire life ahead of you, stop beating yourself up and living with regret. Actually, even through you may now regret what you did both you and your boyfriend did the smart thing, you used a condom.

Take care, regards Kevin.

 
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:11 AM   #3
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Re: Please Help

Your mono is probably coming back (reoccurring), and that is why you are having the symptoms you are having.

I would be really surprised if you contacted HIV from what you described. The condom would have had to have a hole in it, and the guy would have had to be positive (which you don't know.) Those together are a very very small chance.

I think you should not tell your parents anything and go to the doctor yourself, or just tell them you think your mono is back and are having these symptoms and would like to go to the doctor.

Then the doctor can order blood tests to see whether you have an active case of mono, and you can ask for an HIV test, as well. Don't worry about lymphoma! Feel free to mention this fear to the doctor, and I am sure he or she will assure you that you don't have lymphoma.

My guess is the mono test will come back positive, HIV negative, and then you will get your answer and not have to worry anymore (which I don't think you should be!)

Since you had mono in the past, I think that is very likely what is causing your symptoms, because I've heard sometimes, the virus hides for awhile and then comes back. Okay? So if you're really suffering, go to the doctor, and you'll feel better being under a
professional's care and getting tested.

P.S. Kevin is wrong about a condom being 100% safe; that is why they call it "safer sex" now. Condoms can have a hole you can't see, could break or slip off, and don't protect against herpes or HPV, but I'm sure you know that!

Last edited by DesertMeow; 04-25-2010 at 11:27 AM. Reason: To add something

 
Old 04-25-2010, 06:11 PM   #4
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Re: Please Help

PPS, I will make sure I add the term " when used correctly" in future.

Kevin.

 
Old 04-25-2010, 07:43 PM   #5
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Re: Please Help

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I feel better about the HIV but I will continue to look for the problem. The only reason I'm not sure about the mono is that I've read that it is rare for mono to happen twice, but then again rare isn't never. Thanks again.

 
Old 04-25-2010, 07:44 PM   #6
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Re: Please Help

Thank you

 
Old 04-25-2010, 11:20 PM   #7
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Re: Please Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertMeow View Post
P.S. Kevin is wrong about a condom being 100% safe; that is why they call it "safer sex" now. Condoms can have a hole you can't see, could break or slip off, and don't protect against herpes or HPV, but I'm sure you know that!

@DesertMeow:

You are mostly correct about your points about safer sex but you are wrong on one important point that I feel I most correct for the benefit of the OP and others reading this thread. Condoms DO NOT develop invisible holes. That is an urban legend. When condoms fail they do so obviously and catastrophically. Any weakness in the latex results in an overt rupture and the entire penis is exposed- condoms are designed to fail that way. Nobody has to worry about invisible holes in condoms- a condom is either intact or it is not, and an intact condom is 100% biologically effective against HIV.

Anxiety in HIV forums is extremely high and is almost always based partly on false information that has been encountered on the Internet. This notion of invisible holes in condoms is unfortunately very pervasive and is put out by conservative propagandists that make a concerted effort to undermine HIV prevention efforts. People on HIV forums always question the safety of their encounters with hindsight, even protected ones, and when they read about this absurd notion of invisible holes this only fuels their doubts. I am not being critical of you but am only trying to set the record straight for the benefit of others.

 
Old 04-26-2010, 02:46 AM   #8
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Re: Please Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by joggen View Post
@DesertMeow:

You are mostly correct about your points about safer sex but you are wrong on one important point that I feel I most correct for the benefit of the OP and others reading this thread. Condoms DO NOT develop invisible holes. That is an urban legend. When condoms fail they do so obviously and catastrophically. Any weakness in the latex results in an overt rupture and the entire penis is exposed- condoms are designed to fail that way. Nobody has to worry about invisible holes in condoms- a condom is either intact or it is not, and an intact condom is 100% biologically effective against HIV.

Anxiety in HIV forums is extremely high and is almost always based partly on false information that has been encountered on the Internet. This notion of invisible holes in condoms is unfortunately very pervasive and is put out by conservative propagandists that make a concerted effort to undermine HIV prevention efforts. People on HIV forums always question the safety of their encounters with hindsight, even protected ones, and when they read about this absurd notion of invisible holes this only fuels their doubts. I am not being critical of you but am only trying to set the record straight for the benefit of others.
I'm not sure about invisibile holes but I recall hearing that HIV virus is smaller than the latex in the condoms therefore a very small amount of the virus can get through. Were basically talking about the same thing just in different words.

after a bit of research I found condoms have small holes or voids about 5 microns HIV is supposedly 0.1 micron (4 millionths of an inch) in size.

A virus has to be incredible tiny, although in order to get enough of the Virus to cause HIV you almost always would have to have an exchange of semen and or vaginal fluids.


People who have just been infected are 20x more likely to infect others. Viral load plays a role in transmissions as well so if youve just been infected and your viral load is extremely high, who knows even with a condom im not sure you can say for sure without a doubt its 0%. In theory you could get infected or exposed to HIV while wearing a condom that has not been comprimised since its smaller right, not exactly. You actually need to get exposed to a decent amount of the virus though a mucous membrane or into your bloodstream, so therefore this risk is basically nothing unless their is a break or the condom is defective(from what I understand your body is able to protect itself or in other words it never permeates into circulation and reproduction), maybe its possible if someone already has a severely comprised immune system and a the other person just got infected or some far fetched combination of circumstances.

And finally condoms are far from fool proof with this last girl ive had 2 breaks recently and their are other defects. The industry states 98% effectiveness from defects or breaks if you use them properly. Considering how effective they are for HIV their's no other option for prevention not to mention it works at least in part for preventing other stds and obviously avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

Last edited by missingyou; 04-27-2010 at 05:06 AM.

 
Old 04-26-2010, 05:56 AM   #9
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Re: Please Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingyou View Post

"the rubber comprising latex condoms has intrinsic voids about 5 microns (0.0002 inches) in size," Roland states. "Contrarily, the AIDS virus is only 0.1 micron (4 millionths of an inch) in size. Since this is a factor of 50 smaller than the voids inherent in rubber, the virus can readily pass through the condom."
keep in mind this info is from 1995 their may very well be better technology for condoms, nevertheless I doubt they can totally avoid holes bigger than 0.1 micron. I should state the above info not quoted is more recent wether its fully credible is another story, feel free to research if you like. I'm unsure if over a 18 month peroid their wouldn't be at least one or two condom breaks on average and that could account for some of the infections but than again maybe that was part of the control and if it broke they threw out that couples data.

Last edited by missingyou; 04-26-2010 at 05:57 AM.

 
Old 04-26-2010, 04:06 PM   #10
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Re: Please Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingyou View Post
I should state the above info not quoted is more recent wether its fully credible is another story
It is not credible and is a case-in-point of the type of religious propaganda garbage that is out there on the 'net. You did not retrieve this from a credible source. When I googled what you posted I ended up with conservative Christian websites on the top of the results, which is not surprising at all. It is complete and utter bullsh*t.

People do not contract "AIDS-related complexes" they contract HIV, which can progress to AIDS- it is obvious whoever wrote that doesn't know what they are talking about. And there is nothing in the University of Miami study that supports that quote- it is obviously made up.

This is why I hate the Internet. Any idiot can put up a website and post garbage to suit their agenda, and then it spreads like a virus on forums like this. And that just makes more work for people who are trying to put out the correct facts and keep the information on these forums accurate.

There is no credible HIV Prevention website that will state that HIV can pass through intact condoms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingyou View Post
although in order to get enough of the Virus to cause HIV you almost always would have to have an exchange of semen and vaginal fluids.
Fluid exhange is always required and that is why latex and polyurethane condoms work. Infectious fluid cannot pass through an intact condom. This is supported by several studies in serodiscordant couples that showed zero infections with consistent condom use.

I don't have the time to debate this and will not further this thread hijack. I understand that anybody can post on these forums but people need to check their facts and sources before regurgitating information here. I would give you a list of reputable websites but I don't think that is allowed. If you are not sure of something ask one of the forum regulars first before you post something.


 
Old 04-27-2010, 01:28 AM   #11
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Re: Please Help

They say essential impermeable because it does prevent one from getting infected. But it doesn't block all particles of HIV becasue some do get through the condom, or else they wouldnt have added the essentially part..

I looked up that study from miami and they say its from 1987

"Evaluation of Heterosexual Partners, Children and Household Contacts of Adults With AIDS." Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), February 6, 1987" Its definitly old information, but just because its on a site you dont agree with doesn't guarantee it has no basis of truth and is totally fabricated.

This other site I see clearly is site thats against condoms being effective(yes it seems maybe religeous, but the original site I was on didnt come off that way. Nevertheless I never said their ineffective or shouldn't be used I I Just said they might not be as effective as you think.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 03-31-2011 at 08:41 PM.

 
Old 04-27-2010, 05:31 AM   #12
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Re: Please Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by joggen View Post
It is not credible and is a case-in-point of the type of religious propaganda garbage that is out there on the 'net. You did not retrieve this from a credible source. When I googled what you posted I ended up with conservative Christian websites on the top of the results, which is not surprising at all. It is complete and utter bullsh*t.

People do not contract "AIDS-related complexes" they contract HIV, which can progress to AIDS- it is obvious whoever wrote that doesn't know what they are talking about. And there is nothing in the University of Miami study that supports that quote- it is obviously made up.

This is why I hate the Internet. Any idiot can put up a website and post garbage to suit their agenda, and then it spreads like a virus on forums like this. And that just makes more work for people who are trying to put out the correct facts and keep the information on these forums accurate.

There is no credible HIV Prevention website that will state that HIV can pass through intact condoms.



Fluid exhange is always required and that is why latex and polyurethane condoms work. Infectious fluid cannot pass through an intact condom. This is supported by several studies in serodiscordant couples that showed zero infections with consistent condom use.

I don't have the time to debate this and will not further this thread hijack. I understand that anybody can post on these forums but people need to check their facts and sources before regurgitating information here. I would give you a list of reputable websites but I don't think that is allowed. If you are not sure of something ask one of the forum regulars first before you post something.

Anyways I removed the links from my earlier post, I was unaware links werent allowed except cdc. But anyways That study is from 1987, 23 years ago. Yes I saw it on a christian website when I googled it a second time after you mentioned it but I had gotten it from another site and was unaware of the affiliation.
It states its from the JAMA I dont have a copy from 1987 so I cant so for sure its true or false.

It does sound odd AIDS related complexes or whatever but keep in mind that was in 1987 their may have very well been different terminology so long ago( I'm fairly positive they didnt have anti viral drugs back then, don't be too quick to dismiss something. Its so old too that I will admit you have to take it with a grain of salt but just because its religeous nuts who say not to use condoms ever doesnt mean the study is totally false, or made up for propoganda. Even legitimate studys people can twisted and reworded to suite ones agenda.

Actually look I found which some info on "AIDS Related Complex", a now-defunct medical term for a sort-of pre-AIDS illness.I was wrong The first anti anti-retroviral came out in 1987 that same year, an old cancer drug that was dropped got reapproved.

 
Old 04-27-2010, 07:10 AM   #13
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Re: Please Help

My point was that the JAMA article never said anything about three people getting infected who used condoms consistently, and that is an example of why it's important to consider the source. I read through the article and I didn't see anything like that. The article is easy to find and is publicly available (this is not an invitation for ongoing discussion).

 
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