Hi guys,
Ive been reading everyone's posts over the past 10 weeks and on days where im really down i read peoples Negative stories and it really makes me happy. Im at the point now that my symptoms are so disturbing that everything around me is on hold and im living my life as if i have been diagnosed to be HIV positive. I'm crying almost all the time, my emotions are a mess and missing out on life.
It's been 10 weeks ago since my possible exposure. I always been a little bi-curious, and on this particular night (10 weeks ago) i was extremely intoxicated and out of it. This American business guy was basically chatting me up even after i told him i was straight, long story short i fell for it. all that happened was i received oral sex, deep throat kissing and for about 1 min i gave him oral, there was no ejaculation from him what so ever.. in fact his penis was soft for the whole time, hence i stopped giving him oral. My main concern was i had an ulcer in my mouth and we were kissing and grinding etc for about 2 hours... again no ejaculation, nor was his penis even erect. I understand that kissing is an extremely low risk activity, and receiving oral is even smaller... but could have anything happened while i gave him oral, No erection, No pre-***, No ejaculation (and he was circumcised).
I had my first panic attack later that night when i sobbered and realised what i had just done, that was my first experience with a guy and i was feeling weird about it
the following week all the symptoms followed....
*Night sweats
*Insomnia
*fatigue (rarely but it was there... possibly due to insomnia)
*sweating more than usual
*pain in my groin, chest, neck/throat
*chest tightness
*burning skin sensations, like ants were crawling over my body
*flu/fever
*diarrhea
*pins and needles
*severe cramping in my hands while i was sleeping
*numbness in right arm
*my vision would be blurry, sometimes id see like sparks/flickering lights
*panic attacks
*mouth ulcers
* a day of excessive salivation, other days dry mouth
* about a week of frequent urination
I live in Australia, and i went to a Sexual Health clinic.. i told the nurse my possible exposure story and she said there is no risk for me to even be tested, and basically refused me. she did offerr me counselling though (which im considering) then suddenly my symptoms decreased, i guess i felt good about what she said. some symptoms were still around though so that made me google symptoms again... bang HIV HIV HIV.. everywhere i looked. So i built up the courage but this time went to a medical centre and had a full STD screen... everything came back negative (3.5 weeks post possible exposure). once again i felt good for a couple of days, symptoms slowed down, then again they all came back... this time i managed to wait and get tested at 9.5 weeks post exposure, and it was negative. When i got these results i felt so much relief and immediately as the Dr read that out my chest stopped hurting.... he then said this is still not conclusive, you need to test again at the 12 week mark. i said i knew this but i need this for some assurance. As i was going to leave he asked me how my Bowel movements are, i told him i had mild diarrhea, he said ok, see you in a couple of weeks.
Immediately that made me anxious.. and presto at 9.5 - 10 weeks ive now developed a churnning stomach, almost everynight before i go to bed and after i eat, and constipation, small and soft stools, and sometimes diarrhea.
Im going Crazy, im so sad, Its on my mid every minute of every day... the latest symptoms are bothering me so much that i cant relax..
I NEED SOME ADVICE, HELP ME IM GOING INSANE... if my exposure risk was so low.. how can be feeling all of these things. My bowel has never done this before, ive never felt like this in my life and i dont know what to do anymore.
So in Australia HIV tests are Ab and Ag, im guessing Antibody and Antigen testing.. how reliable are these test at almost 4 weeks, and 9.4weeks post exposure??? what else could be causing such a dramatic change to my bowel.. could it be my anxiety???
I really need some replies.. i literally cant study, cant go out, im constantly thinking about HIV and im going crazy, i have another week and a half before my next test (12 weeks) and i think ill have a heart attack before then.
I know that 12 weeks in conclusive, but how many people (on this website, or general statistics) have shown positive after a 9.5 weeks Negative test?
thankyou so much to those of you that read this, i know its long but i cant talk to anyone about this, and im going crazy and the guilt is klilling me!!
Hey 23, you REALLY REALLY need to calm down.. Firstly your wrong about the kissing and oral being low risk... its ZERO risk and the nurse was fully correct. you didnt and dont need testing for HIV and their was NO chance of getting the infection. Saliva fluids will kill the virus ( HIV is VERY fragile ).. Remeber the odds of him being HIV + are very very small, plus getting HIV on one occation is very very small and the way you mentioned so small its not even a risk.. the odds would be way into the millions that you would get HIV from this..
The Dr also is being very conservative on 13 weeks. 99% of people will test positive by 6 weeks, let alone 10, and the fact you had a NO RISK encounter, means your HIV negative. PLUS and this is VERY important.. after all the symptoms you have had, then got tested, and then came back negative. guess what?? Your negative or the results would say other wise..
You had no risk, your results are conclusive your NEGATIVE.. please calm down
The thing is I know that this was all low risk, but it's really hard to think that all these symptoms are nothing, and just manifestations of anxiety. I've never had constipation or any bowel problems before, let alone my stomach to be churning
So constantly... It's just really concerning.
In saying that I've never had anxiety like this before.
I hope your right, and I pray you are... If all these symptoms are anxiety
Related, I will never stress about anything else again. This has been the scariest 11 weeks of my life... And it isn't over.
Negative Ab and Ag test at 9.5 weeks was comforting,
But my recent bowel change started the vicious anxiety cycle all over again.
The thing is I know that this was all low risk, but it's really hard to think that all these symptoms are nothing, and just manifestations of anxiety. I've never had constipation or any bowel problems before, let alone my stomach to be churning
So constantly... It's just really concerning.
In saying that I've never had anxiety like this before.
I hope your right, and I pray you are... If all these symptoms are anxiety
Related, I will never stress about anything else again. This has been the scariest 11 weeks of my life... And it isn't over.
Negative Ab and Ag test at 9.5 weeks was comforting,
But my recent bowel change started the vicious anxiety cycle all over again.
Again thanks alot Apollo
No Problem, but once again your wrong, its wasnt low risk it was ZERO RISK. Honestley you didnt have any risk, and your putting yourself in hell for nothing. Your making yourself ill with stress of thinking about this, and holding it in for 10 weeks, it would drive you crazy and really mess up your body.. no wonder your bowls are freaking Besides symptoms of HIV wouldnt be lasting this long or you would have been in hospital SO it certainly is NOT HIV related
As for symptoms for get them, they prove nothing. Results mean everything and your results are NEGATIVE and i wouldnt even test again, you never needed a test in first place and your DR is a numpty for letting you suffer with stress about this..
Take my advice. Belive your negative, have a few beers, eat a hot curry and your bowls will be back to normal and your body will...... Your Negative
Hey there. I know what you are going through right now and I've been in your shoes for the past year. It was a hell of a ride. If you need someone to talk to I know that you need someone to talk to right now and I'm willing to lend an ear.
Last edited by moderator2; 10-21-2010 at 06:37 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to redsmith For This Useful Post: hopingandprayin (01-22-2011)
I hope your right, and I pray you are... If all these symptoms are anxiety
Related, I will never stress about anything else again. This has been the scariest 11 weeks of my life... And it isn't over.
it is over..
you just won't accept it..
i would suggest you talk to your doc
about this and between you both
can figure out what is best.
i bet you haven't mentioned all of these fears
that you have to him or her.
good luck
Thank you all for your posts, made me feel so good. And that lasts for a few hours, then it all starts again. It doesn't matter who i talk to now, if I'm Negative at 12 weeks I know I'll be able to move on. But this negative at 9.5 wasn't enough to stop me from feeling so low.
Last night after i read your replies i felt good, then just before bed i broke out in a hive like rash all over my body... The second I mentally start feeling better something physical happens. The rash went away overnight, so I'm hoping that was anxiety caused aswell. I just cant believe all of this is happening.
You may want to check out my post as a Newbie Forum Goer, stpd. I had every symptom in the book, with the scariest being fever and rash only 1 week after completely unprotected vaginal and anal sex. My risk was very real. Turns out I'm HIV-. Who would have thunk it?
Your risk is only perceived. It's in your mind; it isn't real. Truthfully? You weren't at risk. Also, no amount of worrying is going to make the 12 week window come any closer. The only thing you're doing now is running your body down with stress. Trust me. I know it's hard, but please believe what the wonderful members of this forum and your tests are telling you. You're negative.
i am in the same boat as well, read my post. 12 weeks out I still have muscle pain, confirmed swollen nodes in neck, arm, legs, lost some weight now comming back, constant fatigue.
tested at 13,23,28,42,45,56,70, and 84 days all neg
13 and 28 day HIV-1 DNA pctr both neg
i though i would accept my 12 week but so hard. How are you all doing it?
i am in the same boat as well, read my post. 12 weeks out I still have muscle pain, confirmed swollen nodes in neck, arm, legs, lost some weight now comming back, constant fatigue.
tested at 13,23,28,42,45,56,70, and 84 days all neg
13 and 28 day HIV-1 DNA pctr both neg
i though i would accept my 12 week but so hard. How are you all doing it?
Its simple to accept cape. Results are conclusive, symptoms are nothing. The results are 100% reliable, so their is no reason not to, and in your case you have certainly tested enough..
Cape, everybody seems to be saying that 12 weeks is conclusive, if i get a 12 weeks negative result i will scream and cry with hapiness and finally be able to accept that the symptoms are stress and move on... accept your 12 week results and deal with your symptoms on the basis its caused by anxiety and stress... not HIV. Dealing with it and understanding its your anxiety thats causing it all is much less stressful then thinking its HIV causing it... I havn't had normal bowel movements in over a week now, and its driving me crazy. i have 1 more week to go before i can get my 12 week test, and i pray to GOD that i get the same awesome results as you cape.
You guys posting on this thread have helped me soo much i cant explain. I've been happy and hopeful again, but not being able to sh** is sooooo sh** and is keeping my anxiety level high, and thought process irrational. From someone that went to the toilet 45 min after every meal to almost nothing, im soo depressed and dont understand it... just please god let it all be anxiety.. and Cape if it is, we can help each other through it.
Wait a week or two then go ask your doctor to run a full STD test for you even for AIDS- you will have to word it that way. I wish you all the luck there is-
__________________
True Love is one of the rarest things to come by; once you do end up finding it treat is as if it was a treasure; because it is one of the most preious things to ever share with someone.
Last edited by Administrator; 10-20-2010 at 07:10 PM.
There is no conclusive evidence that pre-*** transmits HIV, but some studies suggest that HIV is present in this fluid. Although HIV may be present in pre-***, it is in very small amounts, and the mouth is not an easy path for transmission. This means unprotected oral sex without ejaculation is a very low risk activity for HIV transmission.
Regards Kevin.
Last edited by Administrator; 10-20-2010 at 12:54 PM.
Reason: removed quote
Kevin is correct the only realistic way of getting from HIV from oral sex is from ejaculation in someone's mouth. Especially if that person has cuts, bleeding gums or an ulcer in their mouth. Nevertheless the risk is extremely low, compared to other forms of sex such as unprotected vaginal or anal.
Last edited by missingyou; 10-19-2010 at 12:43 AM.
Hi stpd23,I m in the sme boat though my test came negative after 13 week.I live in Autralia too and same as you nurse in the sex clinc offerd me a conceller as they think this is all because of stess and anxiety.But nothing goes right so far,everytime new symptoms comes and goes around.when I feel mantally gud a new physical symptom comes.Beside all ur symptoms I hv very itchy and burning anus as well.GP seems nt taking my prob sincerely......coz evry week i m goin to see him bt no improvemet.Anyway wish u best for ur 12 week test.keep writing.
wow i am not alone...just got back 10 mins ago from my 14 week (99 days) test and it is NEG.
I think I am done worrying about HIV....if allmy 13 tests have missed it, I have bad luck.
I wish you well on your 12 week, I lived in Australia for a bit, on the Sunshine Coast, north of brisbane. When you get your 12 week test do me a favor, go buy a slab of VB and party bud....
Ok so i got my 12 week result.. Negative. Thank God!!!!!
I'm still feeling sick, but now im trying really hard to just accept the fact it's negative and move on. Department of Health, and all Medical health experts keep saying 3 months Neg post exposure is conclusive... i will listen to them and move on. Like i said my bowels are still so messed up, and im still feeling weird tingling in my hands and feet, but a Dr said that is associated with anxiety... I know i cant be back to normal over night. But god i hope i havnt done permanent damage on myself with the severe anxiety i put my mind and body through.
Everyone on this site has been amazing.. these were the darkest 3 months of my life, and i don't think ill ever forget what i went through, physically and mentally. I hope now i can put it all behind me and try to be happy again.
Cheers to you all, and good luck with everything you guys are going through, this site brought me up when i was so down, and for that ill be forever grateful. Only you guys really knew what i was going through and that helped me so much.....
I'll post again when i can go to the toilet properly.. when that day comes, then this will be over for me. hahaha Good luck to you all!
Thats great news mate, but as i said, you really didnt need to worry lol.. Well to tell you straight, when i went throu it like you, my hand and feet tinglied like mad, and for a few weeks felt ill.. But once i realied my results were conlusive, do you know, sudenly i felt better then i had for years.. Really stress does
have a big effect on you ( i was amazed how much ) It will pass, and then your bowls will be back to normal lol..